The Life and Death of Sophia Curtis
by forensicsfan
Summary: The CSIs are processing a crime scene when a suspect returns and the unthinkable happens, leaving the life of a detective hanging in the balance. How will this affect the team as the consider their own mortality? Possible character death.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them, I didn't create them, and I don't profit from them.

**Author's Note:** This was fueled by an idea that occurred to me about sometimes sacrificing characters to propel your plot along. I'm not particularly fond of killing people off, so this would be something a bit new for me. This is a work in progress and I hope you'll take the journey with me. As always, feedback is welcome.

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"We clear here?" CSI Nick Stokes asked as he walked into the foyer of the large home that was their crime scene, glancing around the darkened house. It wasn't that he doubted PD; there was just something about the whole thing that made him feel uneasy. 

"Jackson cleared it half an hour ago." Detective Sophia Curtis looked at Nick a bit oddly. She didn't blame him really; after all he'd been abducted, it was only natural that he was maybe a bit more cautious than the average CSI, but there were procedures that the department followed and Jackson was a veteran cop.

Supervisor Gil Grissom quirked an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly at Sophia as he stepped into the house. "Body?" Sara Sidle was right behind him with her kit in hand.

Sophia gestured towards the stairwell. "Upstairs. Coroner hasn't arrived yet." She could tell from experience that it was going to be a long night if the CSIs had just managed to get there.

"What do we know?" Sara wanted to get an overview before they started to process the scene; to get an idea of what sort of evidence they might be looking for.

Sophia regarded the CSIs before her. "We don't know much; neighbors said they heard a disturbance and then gunfire. One claims he saw someone running from the house afterward. Patrol is out looking for them, but the description of the suspect was sketchy at best. And we still don't have a positive ID on the vic."

Grissom glanced over at Nick and Sara, gesturing at the stairs. "I'll take the body." He pointed towards the other downstairs rooms. "Nick, you and Sara process down here." Without another word, Grissom headed up the stairs with his kit, as always, his eyes open for the most minute details and the gears of his mind churning away like a precision Swiss watch.

"I'll take the back if you take the front." Nick grinned towards Sara. As much as the scene was giving off weird vibes to him, he put on a competitive front; anytime he worked with Sara or Warrick they each seemed to push each other more than working with anyone else did. Lucky for Warrick he had the night off or it might have been the three of them processing the scene.

"Meet you in the middle." Sara flashed him a gap tooth smile as she set her kit down and began to turn and scan the foyer for any obvious clues as Nick made his way to the back of the house. She quirked a brow curiously before heading into an adjacent room that appeared to be used for a den; something on the carpet in there had attracted her attention. She knelt down on the carpet to get a closer look at what appeared to be a link from a chain. After carefully documenting and photographing, she reached for a bindle and a pair of tweezers from her vest. She was working at extricating the object from the carpet fibers when she heard something that caused a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Sophia had remained in the foyer to wait for the coroner to arrive. She had barely heard the soft squeak of a door behind her open slowly and the thought occurred to her that no one should be there right now. She made a move to turn when she felt the distinct cold steel of a handgun pressed to her neck just under her ear.

"Don't move, bitch, or I'll blow you away." The strength in the hand that now gripped her forearm removed any doubt she might have entertained that her assailant was dead serious.

"Put the gun down and no one's going to get hurt." Sophia tried to keep a pleading tone out of her voice, as long as she showed strength she still felt she had a chance to talk herself out of the situation or find some weakness to exploit for that split second it would take to get away.

"I said don't move." The suspect hissed in her ear, pressing the gun harder against her neck.

Sophia let out a soft gasp and tried to stifle the fear that was quickly beginning to work its way to the surface. She needed to try and keep her composure, three CSIs were in the house and she didn't want to do anything that would put them in danger as well. She was the cop; she needed to try and reason her way out of this and watch for an opportunity.

"Now we're gonna walk out of here nice and slow, understand, bitch?" His hand released her forearm for just a second as he eased her gun out of its holster and tucked it into his waistband; he was clearly taking no chances here that she might do something crazy like try and shoot him.

"There are cops all around, what makes you think that you're getting out of here alive?" Sophia was calling his bluff; she knew that the reality was that Jackson was the only other cop at the scene, but if she could get Sara's attention, she might have a chance.

"There ain't no other cops; your partner is yapping it up back there with your crime scene guy. No one's going to help you, lady." His laugh had a cold hard quality to it and in that instant Sophia knew that he was capable of just about anything.

Sara was frantically trying to get Nick or Grissom's attention; she'd sent half a dozen text messages, not wanting to attract the suspect's attention as she'd carefully inched towards the doorway towards the foyer all the while trying to stay hidden. She knew that if she didn't do something soon, Sophia stood a very real chance of not walking out of this situation in one piece; she knew that she'd have only slightly better odds herself once she made herself known.

"You're wrong. You've already killed one person, you go out of here with a cop; you'll be the most wanted man in Vegas." Sophia was praying silently, trying to keep the waver out of her voice. She was scared to death and she had yet to see an opportunity that she could take to get away from this madman.

Sara knew she had to act or Sophia could die. She called out in the most authoritative voice she had and pointed her weapon at the man who outsized Sophia by almost double. "Las Vegas Police! Put the gun down!" Inwardly, Sara hoped that Nick or Grissom, or the officer who was supposed to have cleared the scene in the first place would get their asses in there and help her out.

The man didn't seem at all phased by Sara's threat as he smirked in her direction. "I ain't letting her go. I'm gonna walk out of her and you're gonna let me." He pulled Sophia roughly in front of his body as a shield and pointed the gun into her side, pushing it into her ribs in one of the few spots her Kevlar vest didn't cover.

"Sara, call for backup!" Sophia knew now that her only chance was to make as much noise as possible and hope that this guy was a lousy shot. "Call for backup! Suspect on location!"

"I said let her go!" Sara stood up and leveled her gun at the suspect's head. "Put the gun down now!" She was Sophia's only chance and she sure as hell hoped she didn't blow it. As big as the guy was, she didn't feel she had a clear shot to take him down.

"Like hell I will." The tall muscled man growled in Sara's direction and drug Sophia with him towards the front door.

"Sara, call for backup!" Sophia's voice was controlled but insistent. She knew that without more help, this guy wouldn't hesitate to take Sara out too, and she wasn't sure if the CSI was even wearing a Kevlar vest.

"Shut up, bitch!" The man dug the gun even further into Sophia's side. He was almost at the front door now and there was still no sign that any of the others had heard the commotion.

"Sara, I said..." Sophia's words were cut off by the arm around her neck. In that instant she knew she was probably going to die and she caught Sara's eyes and held her gaze for an instant just as she felt a blinding pain rip into her side.

"Drop the gun!" Nick Stokes had finally made his way back to the front of the house, having walked into the foyer just as the gun went off and Sophia slumped to the ground, Nick didn't hesitate, he fired his weapon three times, dropping the assailant to the ground like a load of bricks.


	2. Chapter 2

"Medic! Someone get a medic!" Sara was yelling now even as she scrambled towards Sophia who by some miracle was still conscious despite the fact that blood was pooling beneath her and seeping into her long blond hair.

Nick was already on it. "This is CSI Stokes; we need a medic unit at 1209 Wild Horse Circle. We have an officer down, I repeat, we have an officer down!" He sounded much calmer than he looked after having just shot a man to death.

Sophia had fear in her eyes as she struggled for breath.

"Hold still Sophia, you're going to be ok." Sara wasn't sure that was true, but as she pressed her hand to the wound on Sophia's side, she needed to reassure herself in order to remain calm. "Just hold on, the paramedics are on their way."

"I'm going to die." It was the sound of resignation in her voice that caught both Nick and Sara by surprise; in the time they'd known Sophia, she had shown herself to be a tenacious fighter.

"Don't talk that way; you're going to make it." Nick was down on his knees now, knowing that if Sophia slipped into shock that she probably wouldn't make it from the blood loss alone. He gripped her hand as Sara continued to press against the wound.

Somewhere in all of the commotion, Grissom and Officer Jackson had made their way to the foyer. Jackson was talking fast and furious on his radio to dispatch to hurry and get backup there now and Grissom was trying to remember every detail he'd seen upstairs knowing now that the murder investigation was going to have to be handed off; everyone here would be remanded while an internal investigation into why the scene wasn't truly cleared was done. Grissom looked at Sophia with a worried expression; everything that could be done for her at that moment was already being done and he felt helpless.

"Medics are on their way, Sophia...c'mon, hang on." Sara was pleading with her to stay with them, but her eyes kept flitting shut.

"Sophia." Grissom looked deeply troubled. "You need to stay with us." His voice had a soothing effect on everyone in the room at that moment, except perhaps on himself. He always dreaded hearing that someone he'd worked with had been injured or killed, but being there in the middle of it was even worse. He was racking his brain to try and remember exactly who Sophia's next of kin was; something that when he had been her supervisor would have been his responsibility to know, or at least take care of if she didn't make it. Now that would be someone else's responsibility, someone at PD probably. He only hoped that when they were notified that the news wouldn't be grave.

"I don't think I'm going to make it." Sophia's voice was weak and there was a vein of panic running through it. "Tell...tell..." She looked right at Grissom and her eyes widened as a jolt of pain shot through her. "Grissom...tell...I love..." Her eyes fluttered shut, her face looking deathly pale.

"Get the medics here now!" Sara screamed to no one in particular.

"Sophia, listen to my voice." Nick squeezed her hand and surprisingly got a squeeze back. "Now listen to me. The paramedics are almost here...now hear that siren, they're coming for you. You need to promise me that you're gonna stay with us here, ok?" He felt her faintly squeeze his hand. "Ok, good job, just concentrate on my voice."

The medic unit had pulled up in front of the house and paramedics were quickly swarming into the house, pushing Nick away as they began to work on her. Sara only consented to move once the medics realized she was applying pressure to the wound and quickly took her place. The rest of them just stood there in a daze, only Officer Jackson seemed to have the presence of mind to call the Sheriff to fill him in on what he knew and where the paramedics said they were going to transport Sophia.

Almost as quickly as they'd arrived, it seemed that they were gone, whisking Sophia away into the back of an ambulance for a rendezvous with a life flight helicopter. There was no guarantee that she would survive and they all knew it. They also all knew how easily it could have been any one of them.

Other police officers had arrived and Ecklie himself was probably on the way along with other CSIs to finish processing the scene. Grissom had spoken to him just after the medic unit arrived and he'd instructed them all to stay put until he said otherwise.

"There's so much blood." Sara looked down at the floor where Sophia's blood had pooled; she hadn't even really taken into account the amount of blood that was all over her and her clothing from trying to put pressure on the wound.

"Sara, you're evidence." Grissom wanted to make sure that Sara didn't move until they'd all been processed by the team that Ecklie was assembling to replace them. It wasn't that he couldn't appreciate the shock that they were all in, he just wanted what happened to Sophia to have a reason; they couldn't give up on their colleague by giving up on their job.

Sara looked at him quizzically for a moment and then it finally registered how much blood she had gotten on herself. She felt immediately sick, not only from the blood, but from the idea that someone that she'd worked so closely with had lost that much blood and how easily it could have been her if the suspect had chosen to fire her direction. Sophia at least had the Kevlar vest, Sara didn't. Her voice sounded hollow as she responded. "Yes, of course, you're right. Evidence." She was going to hold onto that thought or she was going to have a meltdown.

Nick looked at her with a worried expression; he knew how much she hated body fluids and he'd seen her empty her stomach contents on more than one occasion as a result. "You doing ok there, Sar?" He knew how much she liked to project a strong demeanor, but he'd caught glimpses of the softer side of Sara once in a while and he knew that this had deeply affected her.

"We're all evidence, Nick." Grissom's tone sounded a bit gentler now as he heard police sirens wailing in the distance as more units responded. "We need to make sure we do this by the book so the scene upstairs isn't compromised."

Nick clenched his jaw. "I know that." He was frustrated. He had just shot and killed someone that had shot a friend; a friend that right now they didn't know would even survive. Emotions were swirling around inside of him and he just wanted to get the hell out of there and run or drive or do something to get his mind off of the fact that in this job everyday could be your last day.

Grissom could sense the tension in the room and he felt a bit powerless in the face of wanting to preserve the crime scene. "We're all concerned about Sophia, Nicky." There was a bit of a waver in Grissom's voice that was just barely detectible as he began to relive the uncertainty when Brass had been shot just a few months before. He quirked a brow in Nick's direction. "But how can we help her if we compromise the scene?"

Nick nodded in response. "I know, Grissom, I know." He glanced over at Sara and as he watched the conflicting emotions washing over her face as she undoubtedly was reliving the last few minutes over and over, second guessing herself about not shooting the suspect herself, he clenched his jaw as he tried to stifle the need to give his friend a hug. To even touch her right now would contaminate the evidence. His gut had told him that things weren't right from the moment he'd walked across the threshold of that house, and now Sophia was fighting for her life. Oh, how he wished that he could turn back time.


	3. Chapter 3

To Sara, everything seemed to be a blur after that. She was so focused on holding it together with the gunman's body still right there in the foyer, the image of him shooting Sophia fresh in her mind, that she barely seemed to process that Catherine had arrived to take the scene and was gently herding her outside where she could change into coveralls, shielded by the back door of the Denali and Warrick who had obviously been called in on his night off. There would be questions later to be certain; Nick would most likely be getting the brunt of those since his weapon had been fired, but Sara knew she needed to be ready for a round of them herself. At the moment though neither one of them was really thinking about what had happened to them personally, they were more concerned with Sophia and whether or not she was going to survive the gunshot wound.

Grissom had disappeared somewhere, but with the arrival of Brass, it was logical that he was giving him his statement.

Sara was vaguely aware of Warrick asking Nick some questions about how many rounds he'd fired as he took possession of his weapon; standard procedure in any officer involved shooting, but for some reason it pissed the hell out of Sara and she snapped out the words. "If Nick hadn't shot him, he might have shot Sophia again, he might have shot me...Nick didn't do anything wrong."

Warrick's eyebrows gently curved upwards. "You know this is procedure, Sara, no one's saying that Nick wasn't justified in shooting the suspect." He could see that Sara was deeply affected by the whole turn of events and he wished at that moment he could stop being Warrick the CSI and be Warrick the friend to both Nick and Sara.

"Suspect! The asshole shot an officer point blank...I had my gun pointed at him and he wouldn't back down." Something within Sara started to break. "It's my fault he shot her...if I'd called for back up sooner...if I just could have taken the damn shot..." Tears were streaming down her face uncontrollably as the shock of the entire ordeal finally overwhelmed her.

"Sara, it's not your fault." Nick impulsively pulled his friend into a hug; he knew what she meant though, he was feeling guilty as hell for not seeing her first two text messages asking for help in the first place. But he kept reminding himself that if he hadn't gotten there when he did, the gunman would have had no problem shooting Sara as well.

Sara found some semblance of comfort by the strength in Nick's arms and then the touch of Warrick's hand on her shoulder.

"Sara, Nick's right, it isn't your fault." The number of times Warrick had seen Sara cry could be counted on one hand and as he exchanged concerned glances with Nick they weren't sure what to do other than what they were doing at that moment. He half expected at any time for Sara to push them all away and lock herself in the Denali embarrassed that anyone had seen her cry.

Catherine let out a sort of sigh as she started to mentally compartmentalize what needed to be done at the scene and as much as she could appreciate the trauma that her coworkers had just witnessed, she was now in charge of this crime scene. As gently as she could she addressed Nick. "Nicky, why don't you take Sara home so she can change. Ecklie wants everyone available to make a formal statement."

Nick furrowed his brow deeply and nodded, Sara probably would want a quick shower and some fresh clothes. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

Sara stepped away from Nick and offered up an embarrassed smile. "Thank you." She really didn't want to spend the rest of the evening in these coveralls which only seemed to underscore the reason she was wearing them in the first place. Wiping at her eyes, she gestured towards the Denali. "I'll just wait over there." Truth was that she wanted some semblance of privacy to puller herself together.

Nick glanced back at Catherine and then over at Warrick with a curious look. "Where's Grissom?" It occurred to him that he had been remanded from this investigation as well and by all rights, he also should be heading back to the lab until either another case came in or until they were all formally cleared, which none of them had any doubt about, but it was standard procedure. As for himself, he fully expected to be put on administrative leave for a few days, also standard procedure.

Catherine pursed her lips together. "He's giving his statement to Brass and trying to talk Ecklie into staying here to help process the scene since he wasn't downstairs at the time of the shooting." Of course she was already formulating how she was going to talk Gil out of the scene once he got off the phone with Ecklie; why Conrad couldn't have come out here himself she wasn't sure, but then again, she was the people person.

"He can't do that." Nick remarked somewhat annoyed. It seemed to him sometimes that Grissom was more about the job than the people; but then he had to remind himself of the compassion he'd received after his own ordeal. This was difficult for Grissom just like it was difficult for him and Sara; Sophia was a colleague that had become a friend and they were all a little worked up over it.

"I know that and you know that, and believe it or not, Grissom knows that, but it's gonna take a little time." Catherine tried to sound as diplomatic as possible. "If Brass has to remove him personally he will; we've already had that conversation."

Warrick laughed. "That's something I'd like to see." To interject a little levity at that moment seemed to relieve some of the tension that had been so thick for the last hour or so.

"Well you may just get to." Catherine smirked at him before turning towards Nick. "Now get out of here before I have to get Brass to remove you and Sara." She knew she wouldn't have to, but she got the impression that the quicker Sara got out of there, the better off she'd be.

"Yes, ma'am." Nick smiled back at her and then headed towards the Denali. Sara turned as he approached and he quirked a brow at her. "You ready to get out of here?" He could tell by her body language that she needed to get out of here.

Sara nodded. "Yeah." She didn't say anything else she simply climbed into the passenger seat and fastened her seatbelt. She was still thinking about how easily she could have been wounded or killed back there and she was feeling guilty that she had walked out of there and Sophia hadn't. She hadn't liked Sophia when she'd first been assigned to the nightshift, but as she'd worked with her and gotten to know her, she found that she had the same easygoing people skills that she'd always admired in Nick. Sophia was hard not to like after a while; despite the impression she'd gotten that perhaps the blond had her sights set on Gil Grissom.

Nick paused as he inserted the key in the ignition and looked over at Sara. "You do know that this wasn't your fault. You did what you could. If you weren't there, none of us would have seen what happened and he would have gotten away." He let out a sigh as she looked back at him. "I'm just sorry I didn't get in there sooner...I'm feeling pretty shitty that I didn't notice the text messages earlier...you did what you could, you really did."

"Hey, this isn't your fault either, Nick. If you hadn't come in there, he probably would have tried to shoot me too..." Sara felt emotion welling up in her throat as she spoke.

Nick's brow furrowed and his voice caught a little in his throat. "Let's just get out of here." This had affected him in a way that he hadn't quite expected and he really was looking forward to the few days he was going to be on paid leave to sort of decompress. As the engine roared to life he gently eased the Denali away from the curb.

They had driven a short distance when Sara turned in her seat to look at Nick and broke the comfortable silence that had descended on the vehicle. "Nick?"

Nick glanced over at her, his brow still furrowed. "Yeah?"

There was an earnest quality to Sara's voice. "After we stop at my place, do you want to go over to the hospital and see how Sophia is?"

Nick smiled; both he and Sara really needed to know how she was doing. "Yeah, I do."


	4. Chapter 4

It occurred to Nick while Sara was taking a quick shower that it might be a good idea to call the hospital to find out what Sophia's condition was before they went down there; it would be even more traumatic if they got there only to find that she hadn't made it. Nick made a quick phone call, but ran into a dead end with the nurse in the ER who refused to give him any information even after he'd told her he was with the LVPD. He scowled in frustration and then decided that maybe he should just call Brass; if anyone was going to know, it was going to be him.

The detective answered on the fourth ring. "Brass, it's Nick." He nodded as he listened to Brass talk. "Yeah, I expected that...no, I'm with Sara, she's taking a quick shower and then we were going to head down to the hospital...you wouldn't happen to know..." Nick's words trailed off as he felt a lump of emotion fill his throat and then even as tears were stinging his eyes, he let out a laugh at what Brass told. "That's good; she's in surgery...ok, well, yeah, we're headed down there then. Thanks."

Nick let out a sigh of relief as he closed his cell phone and tucked it into his pocket. Sophia had made it to the hospital and was in surgery; at least she had a fighting chance. That was something positive that he could tell Sara; something that they both could hang onto on the ride down there. He wasn't going to kid himself that she couldn't as easily die on the operating room table, but for now he could be hopeful.

Sara emerged a few minutes later looking a bit more relaxed, her damp curls framed her face and she hadn't bothered to put any make-up on, instead she had donned a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie along with a pair of trainers. "You ready to go?" There was an edge of apprehension in her voice.

"I called Brass." Nick wanted to fill her in as quickly as possible and as worry clouded Sara's eyes he smiled. "She's in surgery so we won't know anything for a while." He smiled again as the relief he felt was mirrored on Sara's face.

The ride down to the hospital was a quiet one; each of them was lost in their own thoughts; as if speaking might somehow break this bubble of hope that currently surrounded them. Since they knew that she was up in the OR, they didn't bother asking the receptionist for directions, they'd both been at the hospital enough in the line of duty to know exactly where to go.

Of all the people they expected to find in the waiting room near the OR looking completely stricken, it was not Detective Alex Vartan. And yet, there he was, his face in his hands until he heard approaching footsteps. A glimmer of hope and worry flitted across his face as if he expected the doctor to address him about Sophia's condition. When he realized it was Nick and Sara, the worry crept back in, but there was a bit of relief too that no news was good news at this point.

"Vartan." Nick greeted the detective for both of them as they sat in the molded plastic chairs, not really pinpointing why he should be looking so worried, unless there was far more going on between the two detectives than anyone else knew about.

"Nick. Sara." Alex Vartan looked worn out, but he was glad for the company. There was nothing worse than sitting in a waiting room alone waiting for news that could potentially be devastating.

Sara was a little quicker to pick up on why Vartan was so worried. "Have you gotten any update on her condition? Has her family been contacted?" Sara knew enough about Sophia to know that her mother had been a captain on the LVPD herself but was now retired and that her father was deceased.

Vartan shook his head. "Nothing since they took her in." His voice had a waver to it. "I don't know whether I should worry or be glad that I haven't heard anything at all." He looked genuinely worried. "I tried to get in touch with her mother, but I haven't been able to reach her yet."

"Do you want me to try and call her again?" Sara reached out and touched Vartan's shoulder in a comforting gesture.

He shook his head. "No, I mean, Sophia told me that she was going on a senior's cruise, she'd been looking forward to it for a long time. It's going to take some time to get in touch with her." Vartan looked shaken.

Nick furrowed his brow. "You sure we can't do anything?" He really was curious why he'd never noticed that there was something more than just a coworker's relationship between the detectives, but then again, he usually only worked with them one at a time.

"Nah...not unless you can find the bastard that did this." Vartan obviously only had the most barebones information; once he'd heard that Sophia had been shot, he hadn't registered anything else.

"He's dead." Nick was glad that at least he could offer that. He wasn't sure how he'd feel if the woman he loved had been shot and the shooter had gotten away.

Vartan's head shot up as he regarded Nick with a furrowed brow. "You sure?"

Nick let out a long breath as he realized that Vartan wasn't going to be satisfied until he had the whole story, something that he wasn't sure he could really give him until the official investigation was over and sorted out. "Yeah." Nick nodded. "Damn sure. I shot him myself."

"Oh, shit." Vartan exclaimed wondering just how bad this scene had been and who else might have been injured. "Was anyone else hurt?" He knew so many people in the crime lab and on the police force that he knew if this bastard had shot Sophia he might have gotten others too.

Sara patted his shoulder and gave him a sad smile. "No...no, he didn't." She wasn't sure how much she should say; her official statement hadn't been taken yet and she really didn't want to tell Alex Vartan that she felt somewhat responsible for Sophia getting shot in the first place because she hadn't had a clear shot herself.

"That's good." His voice registered that this was anything but good; not that he wished this hell on anyone else, he just wished it hadn't been Sophia. He sniffled a little and then let out a bitter laugh. "You know I was going to ask her to marry me...problem was we wanted to keep everything under wraps, only a few people even knew we were together; that all seems pretty stupid now. What the hell good is falling in love with someone if you can't tell the whole world about it?" He looked like he was going to lose it any moment.

"Hey now, you've got to have hope; Sophia's a fighter. She's not going to give up." Sara hoped her words sounded far more convincing than she felt they were, especially as she glanced over and locked eyes with Nick. They had both heard Sophia say that she thought she was going to die.

Nick chimed in. "Sara's right, you know Sophia isn't about to give up something she wants without a fight." He had a vague recollection in all of the chaos that Sophia had blurted out a cryptic sentence right before she'd fallen into a semi-conscious state. Nick's voice was earnest. "She loves you man...she wanted to make sure you knew that."

Sara looked at him quizzically and then it struck her exactly what he was talking about and she smiled. "She does, she told us herself." That was just the kind of hope that she thought Vartan needed and it didn't in any way compromise the case or the statements they still had to give.

Vartan had a glimmer of hope in his eyes that if what they were saying was true, that she was conscious after she was shot and coherent enough to say that, she was either scared as hell or pissed off. Either way, it meant that the bullet probably hadn't hit her lungs or her heart, maybe she'd be lucky and just lose a spleen, after all it was almost a spare part. "I just want her to be ok."

Right at that moment, Nick and Sara were both glad to have Alex Vartan as a diversion from the guilt they were both feeling about the situation. What they felt was nothing compared to the agony that their colleague was feeling. An unspoken understanding passed between the two CSIs that they would just sit there with the detective until the doctors came out to bring word about Sophia's condition.


	5. Chapter 5

It seemed like forever before a weary looking surgeon strode purposefully out into the waiting room. He could tell from the bedraggled looking group that had assembled in the last several hours that they were all there for news about Detective Sophia Curtis; the uniforms and official looking name badges gave them away and he had seen any number of them several months previous when Detective Jim Brass had found himself in similar circumstances. Alex Vartan had stood as soon as he'd spotted the doctor and as it seemed all eyes were on this stricken looking man in the rumpled suit, the doctor assumed that he was the one that needed this news more than all the rest of them; it was obvious that he had something personal invested beyond the badge on his belt.

Vartan didn't even really give the doctor a chance to speak. "Doctor, how is she? How is Sophia?" Worry edged his face and his heart felt like it was beating at twice its normal rate as he waited for the doctor to form words.

The faintest twitch of a smile pulled the corners of the doctor's mouth as he glanced around the room before looking directly at Vartan. "She made it through the surgery."

"Oh, thank God." Vartan was visibly relieved and he sank back down into the chair that had become his second home for the last several hours.

The doctor's expression turned serious. "I'm not going to pull any punches with you Detective; she still has a fight ahead of her."

He had the attention of everyone in the room, and as Vartan's face fell a little, Grissom stepped forward seemingly cool as a cucumber. "Can you tell us what her condition _is_ then?" He had a knack for getting details while leaving the emotional periphery out; not that he didn't care, he was just able to focus on the task at hand better than the average person.

"She's sedated. The bullet hit her spleen, which we subsequently removed. Her liver sustained some damage as well, but I'm confident that it will heal." The doctor glanced over at Vartan. "The real issue is her left lung, the bullet hit the lower lobe and I'm afraid there were some complications during surgery."

"What are you saying?" Vartan looked panicked; how could this doctor build up his hopes only to crush them again.

The doctor cut to the chase and gave the detective a very serious expression. "Her heart stopped twice during surgery."

An involuntary whimper escaped Vartan's mouth. "But she's going to be ok...she has to be ok." Vartan looked as if his heart had been dashed to pieces.

"Her condition is critical, but for now she's stable." A small smile broke through the doctor's serious façade. "As soon as she's settled in the ICU, you can see her." He glanced up at the rest of the group that was now murmuring. "One at a time and only for five minutes. If the nurse says you leave; you leave, no questions asked."

"Of course, Doctor." Grissom nodded, his hand was resting on the shoulder of Vartan as stood next to where the younger man sat in the molded plastic chair.

The detective let out a heavy sigh as the doctor turned and strode away. "She has to be ok." Vartan was talking to no one in particular.

Sara had moved over next to where Vartan sat and she placed her hand on his knee. "This is Sophia we're talking about; she's going to be fine, ok? She's going to be fine. You have to be strong for her."

Nick's drawl broke through as he leaned forward in his chair where he sat opposite Vartan. "Sar's right, man. Sophia loves you; she's not going to give up on you. Don't you dare start giving up on her now."

Grissom smiled at the way encouragement seemed to flow naturally out of these two younger CSIs; it was something that he was truly trying to work on for himself, those people skills, and he knew that he had a long way to go. Ever since Nick had been abducted he'd realized just how much of life he'd been missing out of as he seemed to live out his life inside of his mind instead of with the people he spent every day with.

Vartan nodded. "Yeah, yeah, you're right, she's a fighter." He let out a chuckle, the first genuine spark of hope out of him in the hours that he'd been sitting there waiting for word on Sophia. "She'd probably threaten to kick my ass if she knew I was sitting here like this."

"You bet she would." Nick chuckled in agreement. He'd worked with Sophia a time or two and watched as she'd stared down suspects, yes, she was one tough cop.

Brass who had been quiet up until now interjected uncharacteristically soft. "I don't know...I think she'd appreciate the fact that you really care." He knew what it was like to be in Sophia's shoes and it was a place he never wanted to be again. He was glad to know that these people in this room had cared _about_ him; had helped to care _for_ him and he would never take that for granted again. He was happy that Sophia and Vartan had found love; something that seemed to elude him for years. But that was ok, he was happy to be alive and doing something that brought purpose to his life, but still there were times he missed the security of having a woman in his life. The reality was that there was only one woman that he wanted in his life, but she was in LA and he was here and though his relationship with her had been one cause of many that had broken up his marriage; that relationship was from another time and another place.

"You think?" Vartan looked hopeful as he regarded Brass; he had been one of the two people that he and Sophia had trusted about their relationship. Now is seemed pointless to him why they had bothered to try and hide it in the first place.

Brass flashed him a rare smile. "Yeah, I think." He let out a chuckle and gestured down the hallway. "Well there's no point in hanging around here, we should get you up to the ICU so you can see Sophia." He had always like Sophia, felt a certain paternal instinct around both her and Vartan; he might have been a little surprised when he'd found out that they were seeing each other, but he certainly wasn't disappointed. He was genuinely happy for the pair; he only hoped that the young detective's hopes weren't going to be crushed and that Sophia really would recover.

Vartan stood, walking with Brass down towards the ICU as the pair continued talking. As soon as they were out of earshot, Grissom turned towards Nick and Sara. "I'm afraid it's time for business now." He let out a sigh; he hated that his CSIs had to give an official statement after this; he knew that they'd both rather stay at the hospital.

"Who's gonna take our statements?" Nick queried his supervisor. He had thought it would have been Brass since he was the detective that had taken over the crime scene.

"Catherine." Grissom replied matter of factly. "She talked with Brass and he agreed." Of course the matter of communicating that they would both be put on paid administrative leave and would probably have to talk to a representative from IA sometime in the next few days would be something he'd let Catherine share with them; though he thought they both probably expected it.

"So we should go back to the lab then." Sara's brow was furrowed. She knew what was coming and part of her would have rather given her statement to anyone but Catherine, but she needed to get it over with. She just wasn't looking forward to reliving the shooting and her inability to get a shot off; her only consolation was that right now Sophia was still alive.

Grissom offered a kind smile. "She'll be waiting for you." He had promised Catherine that as soon as word came through about Sophia that he would give her a call. He had already given his statement to Brass and planned to stay at the hospital a while longer; maybe even see Sophia himself. She'd become a good friend and he owed her that respect; and if he'd admit it to himself, he wanted to see that she really was alright with his own eyes.

Nick stood up and offered Sara a sympathetic glance. "Let's go get this over with." He felt the same sense of dread that she seemed to have about reliving the whole thing.

"Nick. Sara." Grissom regarded them both with an arched brow, his face set in a typical Grissomesque look. "Just remember, it is what it is."

"Yeah, sure." Sara replied softly with a somewhat vacant expression on her face. She was sure that Grissom meant well, but at that moment she was sure that neither her nor Nick needed platitudes as they headed back to the lab to face what they'd been dreading since Sophia had been shot.


	6. Chapter 6

"So how many text messages did you send then?" Catherine queried Sara as she listened to her version of exactly how things at the crime scene had unfolded.

Sara was doing her best to keep her responses calm and succinct despite the inner turmoil she was feeling. The last thing she needed was to lose it while giving her statement to Catherine, although that would be far better than losing it while giving to IA should the need arise. "I don't know, six or seven. I tried both Grissom and Nick multiple times...I didn't have a lot of time." Of course, it could have been three or four, she wasn't completely sure.

"Six or seven text messages." Catherine's brow furrowed; she knew that Lindsey and her friends lived and died with the text message, even for teens who were adept, six or seven messages could take a little time; and one of the things she was trying to establish was the timeline of the events that led up to the shooting.

"You can check my phone if you don't believe me." There was a part of Sara that often wondered if Catherine would find some sort of satisfaction in finding some reason to see her permanently dismissed, but then she had to remind herself that although they didn't always see eye to eye, they weren't really enemies. Ecklie was really the only one Sara had to worry about these days with the way he seemed to be looking for a reason; but then Ecklie was an ass, he had his moments when he could be almost human, but at his core he really was an ass.

"Sara, we're on the same side here." Catherine arched a single brow and raised a hand as if to say 'down girl'. "I'm just trying to make sure that I have an accurate record of what you believe happened." She smiled at Sara with one of those smiles that put most people at ease; it wasn't patronizing, just genuinely kind.

Sara let out a breath she hadn't realized that she was holding and nodded. "I texted 9-1-1 to both of them; alternating between them really. I knew that Nick was closer so I started with him; I think I sent him four messages and Grissom three. I was afraid if I made a live call that he would shoot her." As it was, she had been afraid that the shooter would hear the keystrokes on her phone as she furiously typed the messages.

Catherine could see the anguish of the situation reflected in Sara's eyes, but this was an official interview, she couldn't interject her own emotions into it too much. "So what happened next?" She could just imagine that the next few seconds probably had felt like an eternity to Sara.

"I hadn't gotten a response; I'm not sure how much time had gone by at that point, a few minutes, 30 seconds, I don't know." Sara's brows were knit together as the images flashed through her mind. "I stood up and drew my gun...I told him that I was with LVPD and that he needed to put his gun down...he just laughed at me...he started to pull Sophia towards the door." Sara had a sort of glazed expression on her face as she tried to tell Catherine what had happened. "I aimed at his head..." She paused as she tried to remember exactly what had happened and when she spoke, there was a slight waver in her voice. "He pulled Sophia against him, his gun was against her ribs...he had her in a choke hold and he was using her as a shield." It was as if the images in her mind were moving in slow motion as things became crystal clear.

Catherine winced involuntarily. "What happened next?" She knew this had to be difficult for her coworker, hell if she'd been in Sara's position she would have been scared to death. She'd been attacked by a suspect at a scene herself and for a very long time it scared her to process a scene alone. Now she just made damn certain that the officer had actually cleared the scene.

"I wanted to shoot him...I had my finger on the trigger." Sara faltered for just a second. "He kept moving...If I'd shot at him, I would have hit Sophia..." Sara choked back a sob at the realization that she had done all that she could but it hadn't been enough; there wasn't anything that she could have done differently. "She was yelling at me to call for backup...but I already had...and then he just shot her." Sara's eyes widened at the horror of it all running through her mind. "The bastard just shot her with this smile on his face that looked like pure evil..." She considered that in another split second, she could have been shot too. "And then Nick shot him...three times I think...and that was it." Sara looked exhausted as she met Catherine's kind smile with her eyes.

"And that's when you administered first aid." Catherine concluded. The rest was pretty straightforward; the shooting details were really what they were after. She had no doubt in either Sara or Nick that if a gun was fired that it was justified.

"She said she thought she was going to die." Sara's face clouded. "I hope to hell that she's wrong." If for no other reason than the fact that Sophia had found a man that truly loved her in Alex Vartan; they all could hope to be so lucky as that. Her own love life was a haphazard string of events that didn't really amount to much substance; at least the sort of substance that she really longed for.

"Hey." Catherine reached across the table that was between them and put her hand over the top of Sara's. "She's a fighter; she may have pissed me the hell off a time or two, but she's a damn good cop and she was a damn good CSI; all of us are going to be pulling for her." That's just the way it was in the world of law enforcement; no matter what differences you had, you were all one big family when one of your own was injured.

Sara nodded and then let out a sad smile. "Catherine, I know you and I don't always get along, but I wanted to say that I think you're a damn good CSI." Life was too short to have regrets. As it was, she'd accumulated quite a few; the least she could do was to try and correct the ones she had some control over.

Catherine could appreciate the sentiment and she offered a smile in return. "Sara, you are too." They really didn't always see eye to eye, but maybe that was the nature of being strong intelligent women in an industry so dominated by men. There were bound to be clashes now and then, but she could certainly see that Sara was very good at what she did.

Sara didn't want this to become some sort of female bonding moment and she cleared her throat uncomfortably. "I suppose you need to take Nick's statement too." Not that is wasn't the truth, but it was a truth convenient for the moment. She just wanted this whole experience over sooner rather than later; as it was, she was going to have at least a few days of administrative leave until everything was clear to the powers that be.

Catherine nodded in understanding. "Yes, I do. You want to send him in for me?" She smiled as Sara got up from the table and headed towards the doorway. She hadn't expected the brunette CSI to turn to say something else.

"You're a good mother too, Catherine." With that Sara exited the room, relieved that she had gotten through what she'd been dreading. She really did believe that despite the turmoil in her personal life that Catherine was a far better mother than hers had been; far better than she expected that she'd ever be herself. Not that she was looking for that in her future at all; right now, keeping things on a steady even keel seemed to be more than enough.


	7. Chapter 7

Catherine tried not to let emotion come through in her voice as she tried to clarify something that Nick had just told her. "So he was aiming at Sara then?" This was not something that Sara had mentioned at all.

Nick nodded, his brows deeply knit together. "I saw Sophia slump to the floor and then he was pointing his gun at Sara...he would have killed her if I hadn't shot him." He was convinced that what he was saying was true; Sara hadn't seen the suspect aim; her attention had been distracted for a split second as she'd seemed focused on Sophia. If there was one lesson he'd learned in the two years he'd been a patrol cop in Dallas it was that you never take your eyes off of an armed suspect unless you had cover. He'd had that lesson chewed into his ass by his sergeant after he'd almost gotten his head blown off for that very reason when a simple domestic violence call had turned ugly fast. He didn't think he'd ever want to be a cop again; although as a CSI he'd encountered plenty of on the job danger.

"Did Sara see him point the gun at her?" Catherine was curious because she wondered why this one detail in their stories didn't seem to match, but then again, unless they'd sat and discussed it, Sara probably hadn't known what was going through Nick's mind.

"I don't think so...she was looking at Sophia." Nick ran his fingers through his hair and let out a deep sigh as he glanced up and caught Catherine's concerned gaze. "I feel like shit because I didn't see her first two text messages; I was getting the download on the scene from Jackson...he and Sophia said it was clear." There was something in his tone that held a deep regret.

"Nicky, you trusted that they did their job...you couldn't know that this was going to happen." As much as she was supposed to maintain a professional demeanor, Catherine was decidedly paternal towards Nick. She knew that most any CSI would probably feel the way that he did, but you couldn't second guess yourself and wonder what you could have done; you had to move forward and learn something from it.

"It just didn't seem right." Nick confessed with a frown. "When I walked in, something just seemed off and I felt something in my gut that told me it wasn't ok." He wished now that he had insisted that Sophia and Jackson search the scene again to make one hundred percent certain that it was in fact clear. Of course if he had done that, they both would have said something to Grissom and everyone would think that he was still dealing with his abduction; which of course he was, but it sure as hell didn't mean he couldn't do his job damn well.

Catherine offered him one of those looks that conveyed far more than words could. "Nicky, this isn't your fault any more than this is Sara's fault. Any one of us could be in Sophia's place." She didn't want to remind him that not so long ago he was in Sophia's place; not fighting for his life in ICU, but fighting the demons of his own mind while they frantically searched for him.

Nick nodded somberly. "Yeah." He really wanted this interview to be over; he needed to get out and breathe some fresh air; maybe go for a long drive. Sitting here in this room was suddenly stifling.

Catherine could tell that this was starting to get to him. She cleared her throat softly. "I just have one more question." She smiled at nick as he glanced up. "Were you certain that the gunman was incapacitated before you and Sara went to Sophia's aid? You both mentioned that he had two guns."

Nick smirked. "Damn sure he was dead; you saw the crime scene." It was more than obvious by where the bullets had hit the gunman that he had died before he hit the floor. The question remained though, which of the three shots had been the fatal one. That was something for Doc Robbins and ballistics to answer; IA would surely have some questions and then whether they wanted it or not, there was always the possibility that the gunman's family would claim excessive force.

Catherine nodded. "I think that's all I need for now." She looked at him for a long minute before she spoke again. "You are on administrative leave until this is cleared up...I'm not sure if Grissom mentioned that."

Nick nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. "I expected as much." He reasoned that maybe this was a good time to catch up on all those things around his townhouse that he never seemed to have the time to get around to; it might just give him an outlet to his frustration.

"Hey, think of it as a paid vacation." Catherine had been put on leave a time or two, not under these circumstances, but she could appreciate the position he was in.

Nick knew that she was trying to be upbeat, but he shook his head as he stood. "Pretty damn hard to think of it like that with Sophia in the hospital." Not everyone had liked Sophia Curtis when she'd joined the nightshift, and Nick had rarely worked with her when she was a CSI, he'd mainly gotten to know her after she came back to Vegas to work as a detective, but he knew that she was a damn good detective and she didn't deserve this. He was feeling for poor Alex Vartan who probably wouldn't leave the hospital much, if at all, before Sophia did.

Catherine really had nothing to say; she knew that he was right and this really wasn't the time for more platitudes or hollow sounding reassurances. She hadn't seen their colleague gunned down the way that Nick and Sara had.

Nick quietly made his way out the interrogation room, surprised to find that Sara was sitting out in the hallway waiting for him. He quirked an eyebrow at her as she glanced up. "Hey."

Sara stood up with an earnest expression on her face. "How did it go?" She had felt compelled to wait for Nick and offer him some sort of support; she really wasn't looking forward to going home to an empty apartment; sitting over at the hospital probably wouldn't be much better.

He offered her a tired smile. "I'm on paid leave." He didn't really want to rehash this with Sara; they'd both been there and he was sure she'd really like to think about something else for a while too.

"Me too." Sara smirked. "Catherine said that until IA has a chance to review it, I'm not supposed to come to work."

Nick smirked back. That was going to be hard for her; she practically lived at work and her personal life, if she really even had one, was either non-existent or a big secret. "Well, since it appears we both have some unexpected time off do you want to get the hell out of here and blow off some steam?" He knew her well enough to know that if she'd waited there for him, she didn't want to be alone.

"Yeah." Sara had a slightly embarrassed look on her face. "I was actually going to ask you for a ride home...my car is in the shop...I forgot that I'd gotten a ride in with someone else earlier." She didn't just want a ride home; she hoped that she could convince Nick to do something even if it was just sitting around eating pizza and drinking beer; she needed a diversion from the stress of this shift and being with a good friend seemed like just the thing.

An idea formed in Nick's mind, working on his townhouse could wait a while longer. "Why don't we swing by the video store and order a pizza on the way to your apartment; I have a feeling that you don't want to hang out all by yourself any more than I do."

A relieved smile flitted across Sara's face. "You're on."


	8. Chapter 8

"Nick. Sara." Grissom's brow was deeply furrowed as he walked through the front door of the lab to find the pair heading in his direction. "I'm glad I caught you before you left." He was fully aware of the administrative leave that they had been place on and he was only glad that it was Catherine and not he that had been the one to deliver the news.

"Grissom." Nick had a flash of worry as he studied his supervisor's face for any trace of news about Sophia's condition. He had a sinking feeling that whatever Grissom had to say it wasn't going to be good.

"How's Sophia?" Sara seemed far more at ease with Grissom's furrowed brow; as if she could read between the lines of his expression. She stood there with her arms across her chest and her head tilted slightly as she waited for Grissom to answer.

Grissom let out a tired sigh and looked at the two CSIs fully. "She's sedated. The doctor said it could be a while before we know anything." His thoughts drifted back to Brass being in nearly the same position not too long ago. So much had happened since then and yet all those things that he had resolved to do he hadn't quite followed through on. He was definitely feeling regretful.

"She's strong." Nick wanted to believe that; he wanted to believe that if any of them were in her shoes they would come through with flying colors. The problem was that not everyone did. If Holly Gribbs hadn't died, Sara wouldn't be here. Then there was Detective Lockwood, gunned down while trying to deposit a check on a lunch break. Shit, you didn't even have to be in the line of duty to clock out.

"I feel sorry for Vartan." Sara's voice was soft and almost wistful. "Hell of a way to announce that he's in love with someone." She glanced at Grissom for a fraction of a second before turning towards Nick. "I just want to get out of here."

Nick nodded at her, offering a warm smile. "Sure." He glanced at Grissom and noticed a slightly befuddled expression for just a moment before a more stoic one took over. "Did you need something else, Grissom?" He had stopped them on their way in; perhaps he had more than just Sophia's condition on his mind.

Grissom shook his head. "Uh, no...I just wanted to let you know how Sophia was." He glanced over at Sara again before turning his attention back to Nick. "So you're on administrative leave then." It wasn't really a question, more of a confirmation that Catherine had informed them.

"Yeah, until IA clears it all up." Nick really just wanted to get out of there and he clenched his jaw until it started to twitch.

Sara's expression clouded in concern. "I'm tired and hungry and I just want to go home." She addressed Nick, but glanced at Grissom as if to indicate that she wanted to end the conversation.

"Well I won't keep you any longer then." Grissom offered a sort of half smile and then turned and strode in the direction of his office leaving Nick and Sara at the entrance to the lab.

By the time they arrived at Sara's apartment, they had managed to stop and pick up a case of beer and couple of movies; chick flicks Sara had insisted because she was in no damn mood to see anyone else shot at. The pizza order had been called in and all Sara wanted was to relax and think about anything else besides the crime scene she couldn't seem to get out of her mind. The pizza arrived in short order and they settled themselves on her couch to watch _Raising Helen_.

If they'd thought that this was a safe movie that belief was utterly crushed about fifteen minutes in when the whole premise of the story was put into play with a tragic death. That combined with the seriousness of the day and the stress of it all broke through as Sara choked back a sob. This was definitely _not_ what she'd had in mind for a way to decompress.

Nick was having a hard time too, although he wouldn't have liked to admit it, but when he noticed that Sara had started to cry he didn't know what else to do but pull her into a hug. "Oh, Sar." There was so much in that statement; he knew that she was having regrets about not having an opportunity to shoot the gunman before Sophia had been shot and for himself, he was so damn thankful that he'd gotten there before Sara was shot. He'd always been close to her, but for some reason this felt different, it was if they had bonded over something that no one else was a part of. Nick began stroking her hair as she melted against him.

Sara felt secure, she had so many things swirling through her mind that to have the feeling of Nick's arms around her made her feel just a little bit more grounded. She rested her head against his shoulder as tears continued to slip down her face and she could swear that his heart seemed to be beating fast underneath where her hand rested against his chest; hell it seemed as if her own was too.

As Nick inhaled the scent of her hair he felt compelled to press a kiss against her head as he pulled her a little closer. This was a woman that he cared about deeply and maybe his timing was shitty as hell, he just needed her to know that. He pulled back just a little and kissed her forehead as his fingers brushed at the tears on her cheeks.

Sara wasn't exactly sure when something had changed here and in the back of her mind a voice was screaming that she couldn't do this; this was a line she sure as hell couldn't cross, not right now anyway; but something in her needed this and she just couldn't make herself turn away from him.

Nick's fingers gently touched her chin, tilting her face towards his before their eyes met for the briefest second and then their lips were softly touching in a tentative kiss. Tentative went right out the window as hungry and tired and scared and anxious and whatever the hell other emotions had been swirling around that day surged through that kiss. Neither one of them seemed particularly concerned about what this was going to do to their friendship or to what was fueling it in the first place. They'd had an emotionally charged day to be certain and this was not something that had been planned by any means.

By the time they broke this kiss they were both breathing heavily and as the sound of the movie in the background penetrated Sara's senses, she shook her head. "I can't do this..." She wasn't really sure how to explain this to Nick; it had been pretty damn clear from that kiss that she wanted to be doing just that; even now, she was struggling with wanting to just kiss him again. Shit, she could not be doing this right now. Shit, shit, shit.

Nick's face clouded; of course, this was all too sudden and after the day they'd had this was probably not the best course of action. "I'm sorry." He wasn't a bit sorry but he could tell that Sara was conflicted. "I should go..." He didn't want to leave at all, but he also didn't want to do something that they'd both regret later.

"No, don't go." Sara knew that he probably should before she got in way over her head. This was not a good time for this to be happening, but how the hell could she tell him that? She scooted back a little, putting some space between them that was a bit more appropriate for people who were just friends.

He looked at her earnestly. "Sara." He knew that he couldn't hide what he was feeling from her; of everyone he worked with, she was probably the most perceptive and he tended to wear his heart on his sleeve in the first place.

"No, _I'm_ sorry...I don't know what to say." She was toying with the idea of just telling him the truth when she heard a sound that caused her heart to sink.

Nick's expression was slightly bewildered as he heard the sound of a key turning in the lock, and he was utterly speechless when the door opened and a startled Gil Grissom walked in with a bouquet of flowers in hand as if he'd done this a dozen times. His expression said it all; this was no damn cat, the raging tiger had been let out of the bag.


	9. Chapter 9

There was just something about the whole situation that made Nick feel like _he_ was the one that didn't belong there despite the fact that _he'd_ been invited over and _he'd_ just shared a rather intense kiss with Sara. As for Grissom, he looked like he'd just been caught doing something that he swore he'd never do; an expression that wasn't lost on Sara who was feeling even more conflicted than she had just a few seconds before.

Nick was the first one to move. "Sara, I should probably go, I just remembered that I need to go do something." Yeah, like kick himself in the ass for kissing a woman who clearly had something going on with their supervisor. Shit. How in the hell could he have been so stupid not to notice? And why the hell had they kept it a secret in the first place? There was not a single person on the night shift that would have objected on a personal level; on a professional level maybe, but none of them would begrudge the others a measure of personal happiness given the hell they faced everyday.

"Nick, you don't need to go." Sara hoped that her tone didn't betray to Grissom what had just transpired, but she could tell by the expression on Nick's face that there was no way he was going to stay given the way that Grissom had entered the apartment.

Grissom studied the pair; Sara seemed unsettled and Nick looked a bit taken aback by the intrusion, but there was something more there as well; hurt, confusion maybe. Whatever it was, there was clearly something that had transpired while he was not there and his sudden arrival with key in hand had definitely not been expected, at least by Nick.

Nick glanced at Grissom and then back at Sara as he pulled himself off of the couch, the pizza, beer and movie completely forgotten at this point. "No, I think I definitely need to go." He felt hurt. True, he had kissed her, but she had kissed him back and she at least had the benefit of the knowledge that she was apparently seeing someone. If he had known or at least had any inkling that there was an actual romance brewing between Sara and Grissom, he would have never even tried to kiss her. As it was now, he felt the need to retreat with his tail between his legs and lick his wounds in the privacy of his own home. Maybe by the time his administrative leave was over he wouldn't feel like such a royal idiot for not putting the pieces together before.

"Nick." Sara's eyes pleaded with him to understand as she stood up, but that was difficult to expect of him since she was having a hard time understanding what had just happened herself. She glanced over at Grissom and shot him a glare; his timing was impeccable, but then she had to remind herself that he could have walked in just a few moments before and really gotten a show. As it was he looked clearly confused as to what in the hell was going on.

"I'll talk to you later, ok?" Nick glanced at Grissom once more before he looked back at Sara. "I think I really need to go." He couldn't seem to get out of there fast enough.

As the door shut behind him, Sara turned and leveled a glare at Grissom who seemed somewhat oblivious to the fact that she was pissed off. He simply stepped towards her with the flowers in hand and reached out to touch her cheek. If Sara had yelled that wouldn't have concerned him nearly as much as the controlled whisper that came out of her mouth. "Don't touch me right now."

Grissom's brow furrowed. "Sara, honey." He really didn't know what to do about this. She was obviously upset, but he wasn't clear if she was upset at him or upset in general. It had been an incredibly stressful day and it was possible that either was true. He reached out for her again.

"Don't." Sara's voice caught in her throat as she raised her hand. There were tears slipping down her cheeks again and she looked at Grissom almost as if she didn't know him at that moment. "I don't want you to touch me."

"Ok, but then are you going to tell me what's going on?" Clearly he was out of the loop somehow and it made him feel incredibly vulnerable; something that he was definitely not comfortable with. He was very quickly slipping into investigator mode and placed the flowers on her coffee table.

"Sophia." Sara looked at Grissom full in the face, her own hurt clearly evident.

Grissom stood there with his mouth partially open before he finally managed a sentence. "Sophia." He really had no idea what she was inferring. If she was accusing him of seeing Sophia romantically, it was simply not true; she should know better given the fact that it was now common knowledge that Sophia was seeing Alex Vartan. He had never viewed Sophia as anything other than a good friend.

Sara let out a frustrated sigh and nodded. "She's fighting for her life and what if no one knew that she and Vartan were seeing each other? What if he wasn't notified?" She had been mulling this over all day. "What if she died and he heard about it in passing?"

The implication was clear to Grissom now; this relationship between them had finally blossomed a month before Brass had been shot and they had agreed to keep it a secret; to keep it a part of their own little world. Apparently, Sara seemed to be having second thoughts. "But he didn't and he's there." He needed to employ a bit of rational thought here before things got completely out of control.

"Grissom, listen to me." The urgency in Sara's voice stopped him cold. "What if that had been you or me?" She wanted to let that thought sink in deeply; to let him think about it for a good long while like she had since they'd first gotten together. The issue had been danced around when Brass had been shot, but now that Sophia was in the ICU and the revelation that she and Vartan had been having a very serious relationship that almost no one knew about made this a very real issue for Sara that she wasn't about to let go of.

"But it _wasn't_ you or me." Grissom was floundering; he had no idea how to calm her down; to get her to reason.

Sara looked at him in disbelief. "You just don't get it, do you?" She really had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but at the moment she really didn't see much of an option.

Grissom's brow was furrowed. "What am I supposed to get, Sara?" He thought if she could step back from things for a moment and approach them logically that perhaps she could see just how irrational she was being.

Sara's eyes narrowed in anger and her voice was maybe a little too controlled. "This. Us. It's not working." By the shock registering on his face she knew that she finally had his attention.

"I thought it was working wonderfully." Grissom had been perfectly satisfied with their relationship; they had a little cocoon that was a safe place to retreat from the harsh world that they worked in; he saw no reason to disrupt things. He couldn't have disagreed with Sara more.

"It's not working for _me_." Sara was exasperated as she looked at him, but her voice sounded defeated. "_I_ don't think it's going wonderfully." It wasn't that she didn't care about Grissom; she probably cared about him too much and in the process, she'd sacrificed part of herself.

"Why?" Grissom was scared. All of those doubts he'd had as he'd investigated Debbie Marlin's murder came flashing back; maybe he and Sara should have never gotten involved.

"Is what we have really a relationship?" Sara had obviously been thinking about this for a while. "Or is this just a little fantasy that we act out once in a while?" She had been happy at first just being with him, but now she just wasn't sure anymore.

"Sara." Grissom stepped towards her wanting to do something; he just wasn't sure what. "You're not just a fantasy." His voice was almost a whisper and the tone was uncertain.

"Yes, I am." She looked at him sadly. "You don't want anyone to know that there is an us, so in essence this _is_ a fantasy." In reality she was constantly having to make sure she didn't slip up at work and say something to someone; she couldn't join in when the people around her talked about their significant others; as far as they were concerned, she was a workaholic with no social life.

"We agreed it would be better if no one knew." Grissom was frustrated; they _had_ agreed to it; he didn't think that it was fair that she changed her mind midstream.

Sara looked visibly upset as she spoke, her arms crossed over her chest. "Better for who? For you maybe, for your career. Not better for me. Did you know that before you got here Nick kissed me?"

Shock was visible on Grissom's face. "He what?" A million things went through his mind; not the least of which was the motive he had suggested to Dr. Lurie about why he thought he'd killed Debbie Marlin; his worst fear was that Sara would leave him for someone younger.

Her voice was softer now. "He kissed me." She wasn't sure how much she should tell Grissom, but she reasoned that if this was confession time, he deserved to hear it all. "And I kissed him back."

Grissom looked crushed. "Why?" It wasn't the best response, but it was all he had. It seemed that in the span of a few moments this relationship that had been his special secret was crumbling.

"He probably kissed me because he had no idea that I was seeing you." Sara's frustration oozed out in her tone.

"No, that's not what I meant." Grissom shook his head. "Why did you kiss him back?" Grissom was at a complete loss; he apparently wasn't enough for her and he felt that he certainly couldn't compete with someone younger.

"I don't know." Sara's expression was pained; she _did_ know at least part of the answer, but she couldn't bring herself to say it.


	10. Chapter 10

Grissom just stood there staring at Sara wondering now why he had decided to stop by in the first place and then remembering that he'd thought she looked upset before she'd left the lab with Nick. _With Nick_. His mind started to spin with possibilities and doubts began to assail him. "Is this the first time?"

Sara's eyes widened in shock. "What! No. I mean yes this is the first time." He was clearly hurt by what had happened, but now he wanted to know if she had cheated on him before. "How could you ask me that?" They had danced around each other for a long time before they'd trusted each other enough to start this relationship. She had been so obsessed about him for so long, the last time she even had a date with anyone else was when Hank Pettigrew had used her to cheat on his girlfriend; so for him to suggest that she could even conceive of cheating on him cut her to the heart. "I would never cheat on you."

Grissom quirked an eyebrow at her with sadness filling his eyes. "Then what was Nick?" He looked completely defeated; it wasn't that he didn't want to believe her it was that even in the midst of them being together he was always fearful that she would leave him; that she would find that the difference in their ages was just too much.

Sara was crying now. "It just happened...I don't know...all he did was kiss me." As much as she was upset by the accusation, she was also upset by the fact that Grissom didn't seem to trust her. She had never given him any reason to doubt her; before now that is. "He didn't know that you and I were together."

Grissom was confused as to whether they were still together or if this was the beginning of the end. "Well he apparently knows now." Maybe if they could just go back to the way things were before; if they could swear Nick to secrecy. "We'll just have to talk to him; make sure he doesn't say anything."

"I cannot believe you." Sara looked horrified. "After what happened to Sophia, you still want to keep this relationship a secret." At that moment she wasn't sure she really even knew Gil Grissom. She had no desire to go through what Alex Vartan was right now.

"Sara, we agreed at the beginning..." Grissom took a step back, feeling a bit off balance because she didn't seem to be seeing things the way he did.

"Fuck the beginning." Sara narrowed her eyes at Grissom. "Fuck the agreement." She was clearly pissed off. "Do you want every man at CSI to find out about whatever _this_ is when they hit on me?" Grissom's lack of response was her encouragement to take the final step. "You know what? Fuck you, Grissom. Fuck you."

Grissom tried to interject a little rational thought into the situation; his voice sounded very controlled. "Sara, if this came out, I could lose everything that I've worked for."

Sara shook her head, her voice far too controlled now. "No, Grissom, it's even worse than that...you're going to lose _me_. I can't live like this anymore. I can see now that your career is far more important to you than I will ever be and I can't compete with that; I shouldn't _have_ to compete with that." She realized then that unless the man standing before her was willing to go public and deal with the consequences as they came, she wasn't going to be satisfied with their relationship; she would always question whether he loved his career more than her.

"Sara." Grissom opened his mouth to protest as he felt this thing between them slipping through his fingertips. She was important to him; his career was important to him; surely there was a way to figure out how he could have both.

"No." Sara did not want to cry again; she was already confused enough with Nick's kiss thrown into the mix. "I think you should go." She was not going to cry. Damn those stupid tears.

"Can't we talk about this?" Grissom really didn't know what to say; he just knew that he didn't want to lose Sara.

"No." Sara blinked back tears. "No, I don't think we can...I think it's just better if you go. I just want to be alone right now." Her mind was swirling and she just needed to find a way to make it stop so she could sort all of this out.

Grissom headed for the door, pausing for a moment as he held the door open. "If you change your mind..." His words trailed off sadly as he turned and stepped through the door, closing it behind him.

Sara just stood there as the floodgate of tears finally let loose; and it barely registered in her mind that the movie that she and Nick had started watching was still going as she sank back into the couch and reached for the nearest beer.

* * *

Nick wasn't sure where he was going; he just knew he needed to take a long drive to clear his head. He just couldn't get the image of Grissom walking into Sara's apartment out of his mind. The man had a key; you didn't give someone a key to your apartment if you didn't expect them to come over whenever the hell they wanted. Why had she kissed him back? He couldn't get that thought out of his mind either because that kiss had been amazing; he didn't think she could kiss like that if she didn't mean it. In a nutshell, he was utterly confused. 

In the next instant he was pissed off. How dare she kiss him like that if she was supposed to be with Grissom. He was _not_ going to be the other man; he was _not_ going to let her use him. _Shit, get a grip Stokes, it was one kiss and you're the one that initiated it; can she help it if the Stokes charm was too much for rationale thought? Hey, but she knew I was going to kiss her; she could have stopped me if she wanted to._

If she wanted to.

Now that was a thought that Nick couldn't seem to let go of. If she wanted to. She wanted to kiss him as much as he had wanted to kiss her; he could see it in her eyes even as she had pulled away. He didn't know what the hell was really going on between her and Grissom, but if she kissed him like that; maybe he had jumped to conclusions. Shit. Grissom had a key; of course he'd jumped to conclusions; what other conclusion was there to jump to?

He was irritated. Why did Sara and Grissom hide their damn relationship? It wasn't a huge secret that Sara had been infatuated with their supervisor for years; in fact rumors swirled that they'd had some sort of relationship before she'd even come to Vegas. That was one of the reasons that Nick had never pursued his attraction to her. And then they'd formed a close bond; one that had gotten them dubbed as the Wonder Twins by one of the dayshift CSIs by the way that they seemed to work together seamlessly.

Nick wasn't all that surprised to find that he'd ended up in his own driveway; he really wasn't sure what time it was, but he was bone tired and he reasoned that since he didn't have to go to work, there wasn't any new news on Sophia, and he'd pretty much blown it with Sara he might as well try and get some sleep. Not that sleeping was going to be an easy thing; his mind was running at breakneck speed and was showing no signs of slowing down.

He eased himself out of the driver's seat and walked slowly up the walk to his front door. He was still berating himself for kissing Sara; all this going on with Sophia and he had to do this now. What a shithead he was; the master and commander of perfect timing. He only hoped that Sara could forgive him; that Grissom wouldn't kill him if he found out about it. He ignored the blinking light on his answering machine as he threw his keys onto the counter. He headed straight for his bedroom and stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed; staring at the ceiling for a long time before he finally slipped into a fitful sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Sara looked surprisingly calm and collected as she slowly walked into the waiting room near the ICU; she reasoned that she didn't really want to be alone, but she wasn't about to call either Grissom or Nick. The one person who she thought might need someone as much as she did was Alex Vartan.

Vartan glanced up at the sound of approaching footsteps; from his rumpled appearance and the bags under his eyes, he clearly hadn't left the hospital since the ordeal had begun. He barely raised a hand as Sara took a seat next to him. "I would have thought you'd be home getting some sleep." He was already showing signs of a bit of scruff growing on his chin.

"I could say the same about you." Sara's voice was characteristically calm and caring despite her own inner turmoil. "How is she?" She knew full well that it would be difficult to convince Vartan to be anywhere but here until he knew that Sophia was going to be ok.

"She's sedated." Vartan was bone tired and he closed his eyes for just a moment as he let out a deep breath. "I was going to propose to her; did I tell you that?"

Sara nodded. "Yeah, you mentioned that." She hoped that he would still get the chance; a good man like Alex Vartan did not deserve to have the love of a lifetime snatched away before he had the chance to tell the whole world. Ironic really that he _wanted_ to tell the whole world.

"I had it all planned out." The faintest of smiles graced his features. "I think she knew I wanted to; we'd even danced around the idea of just letting people at work know that we were seeing each other. I think we both realized what a stupid idea it was in the first place to try and keep it a secret." He let out a soft chuckle.

"Why did you feel like you had to hide it?" Sara was curious what Vartan's rationale had been; in her mind it seemed nothing could be more ridiculous than the reason she and Grissom had come up with; they'd thought it through with logic and had left the emotional part of the equation out. She could see now that without figuring that in there was no way that their evaluation of the situation could be complete.

Vartan's brow was furrowed as he considered just why he thought it had been a good idea. "I don't know...I think we were afraid of what our superiors would think; but Brass didn't seem to care. I think we thought that people would question our ability to be professional; that it might limit our careers." He let out a bitter laugh. "The career thing seems pretty damn shallow to me right now; how I could _ever_ think my career was more important than her I'm not sure."

There was sadness in Sara's voice. "At least you still have time." She gave him a hopeful smile; she wasn't one to pray very often, but she had shot a prayer or two heavenward on Sophia's behalf. She hoped that someone somewhere was listening.

Vartan nodded silently, but the expression on his face reflected the waves of doubt that he was trying to stay on top of. The longer she remained unconscious, the longer he was going to feel like he was on the verge of sinking below the surface of those doubts never to return.

Sara reached over and touched Vartan's arm. "You've got to believe that she's going to be ok." She offered an encouraging smile. "You really should go home and get some rest." She was sure he'd never agree to it though.

Vartan glanced over at her. "What if she wakes up and I'm not here?" He clearly was a man in love. There was nothing short of tying him up and dragging him out kicking and screaming that would make him leave this chair that seemed to have become one with his body.

"She's going to be worried about you if she sees you like this." Sara regarded his haggard appearance which was so different than the sharp dressing detective that she was used to seeing.

"I _am_ worried." His eyes reflected fear. "What if she _doesn't_ wake up?" It was obvious that he had regrets; many regrets that he needed to resolve. He only hoped that he'd get the chance; he'd never take his relationship with Sophia for granted again.

"You can't think like that." Sara looked at him earnestly. "She needs as many good thoughts as we can send her way; ok?" She smiled in that way that simply instilled confidence and as she saw the edges of Vartan's mouth twitch upwards, her smile widened.

"You're right." It was the waiting that was getting to Vartan; he had no idea if she would wake up in a few more minutes, hours, or even days; sitting here in the waiting room wasn't doing him any good at all. But he also didn't want to _not_ be here if she _did_ wake up soon. He had resigned himself to just sitting for a while.

"Have you at least had something to eat?" She had the benefit of having been home and had eaten a couple slices of pizza and drank probably a little more beer than she should have had before driving over to the hospital. Of course she hadn't exactly planned on coming back to the hospital; but after Nick had fled and she'd kicked Grissom out; a few swigs from a beer was enough to convince her that feeling sorry for herself was only going to cause more problems. At least if she went and kept Vartan company she would feel like she was doing something productive, especially since she was sure sleep wasn't going to come anytime soon.

"Not really hungry." Vartan sat forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "I can't really think about eating when I don't know what's happening." It had been a while since a doctor or nurse had updated him on her condition; he'd been into the ICU briefly to see her after she'd been settled in, but that had been several hours ago and all he could think about was how still she looked and how many tubes and wires were hooked up to her.

"I'm sure you'll hear something soon." Sara had half a mind to go and see if she could find someone that could give them some definitive information.

"I've been saying that to myself for a couple of hours now." Vartan practically growled from frustration; he wasn't sure how much more of this he could handle.

"Have you gotten a hold of her mother?" She knew that when she'd left that they were still trying.

"Yeah." His brows creased together. "She's going to get a flight back as soon as the ship gets to the next port." He was glad that Brass had made the call that had finally gotten through; he wasn't sure he could have really relayed the news without becoming a complete wreck.

Neither one of them heard the soft approaching footsteps until their conversation was interrupted by a female voice. "Detective?"

Vartan's eyes snapped up in hope as he realized that one of the nurses that had been in with Sophia was addressing him. His brow was furrowed and he felt a surge of nerves in the pit of his stomach. "Yes."

The chocolate skinned nurse smiled softly in encouragement; she clearly had some good news to offer. "Someone's asking for you." Sara immediately recognized her as Warrick's estranged wife Tina and a flicker of recognition passed between them.

"She's awake?" Vartan nearly swallowed his throat hardly daring to believe that Sophia was really awake.

"She's awake for now." The nurse arched a single brow as she cautioned Vartan. "She's going to need some more sedation, but you can see her for a few minutes."

"She's awake." Vartan's voice caught as he glanced over at Sara.

"You'd better go see her." Sara couldn't help but smile as she watched Vartan disappear into the ICU room and she considered that at least he had another chance; that was far more than she thought she was willing to give herself and Grissom at this point.

"You're Sara." Tina Brown looked at her curiously.

"Tina." Sara smiled wondering how fate had determined that of all the nurses at Desert Palm that Warrick's Tina would be the nurse treating Sophia. She glanced back at Vartan through the window as he seemed to be holding on tightly to Sophia's hand. "How is she really?"

"Too early to tell just yet; but waking up is an encouraging sign." Tina looked as if she had something else on her mind as she regarded the brunette CSI. "Sara?"

Sara glanced over at her. "Yeah?"

"Would you tell Warrick that I said hello when you see him?" Tina looked genuinely sad that she couldn't seem to bring herself to tell him that herself; they'd gotten into an argument a few months back and things had just gone from bad to worse since then.

Sara could sense that she wanted to reconnect with Warrick; and she really couldn't blame her; Warrick had been looking pretty miserable too. "I will, Tina; I will."


	12. Chapter 12

With Sophia awake at least for a short time Alex Vartan had captured a little bit of the hope that had been slowly ebbing away since he'd first walked into the hospital after receiving the news about the woman that he loved. When he walked reluctantly out of the ICU he at least did so with a smile. Relief was clearly written on his face as he returned to the chair next to where Sara was still sitting; where he'd been sitting since Sophia had been brought to the ICU from the OR.

"How is she?" Sara could tell that much of the weight that he'd been carrying on his shoulders was gone; she only hoped that she could feel that same sense of relief when she knew that Sophia was completely out of the woods. As it was she was still struggling with feeling so helpless to have done anything to prevent her from being shot in the first place.

"She's good; tired..." Vartan's voice caught and then he let out a soft laugh and a smile spread across his face. "And she looks so damn beautiful." Those few moments had energized him from the haggard looking man he'd been just a short time ago to someone who looked like he might just need a shower and a shave.

"She's lucky to have you." There was a wistful tone in Sara's voice; she wanted what Vartan and Sophia had. She had thought for the longest time that she'd find it with Grissom, but right now she wasn't so sure. If Grissom could accept the consequences of their actions; if he could recognize that if they went public it wouldn't be the end of the world even if it might mean the end of one of their careers, then maybe they might have a chance.

"I know." Vartan was happy; not happy about _why_ he was there, but damn happy that Sophia seemed to be doing better. He was confident that he had been given a second chance and he wasn't going to squander it.

"When can you see her again?" Sara knew that the rules governing the ICU were strict and that the health of the patient was put well ahead of any need that their loved ones might feel they had to see them.

Vartan glanced over at Sara. "I'm not sure; they were giving her some pretty heavy duty pain drugs and the nurse said she'd have a really hard time staying awake...she suggested that I go home and try and get some sleep." He had a bit of a smirk on his face.

"She's right, you should." Sara smiled warmly at him. "You go, I can stay here." She was going to argue that he couldn't live at the hospital until Sophia was released; provided things went as well as they hoped and she made a full recovery.

Vartan let out a chuckle. "Sophia thought so too...she said I looked awful." He rubbed the stubble on his chin. "She thinks I should shave." His spirits had definitely been bolstered by whatever they'd talked about; the fact that he'd gotten to talk to her at all regardless of the conversation was undoubtedly responsible.

"I'll call you if she wakes up while you're gone." Sara knew she wasn't going to get sleep anytime soon; she might as well stay here and sort out what had transpired over the last several hours. At some point in time she was going to have to talk to both Grissom and Nick and she needed to process what she was thinking; what she wanted really.

"Ok...I think that sounds like a good idea." Vartan wouldn't admit to himself, let alone Sara, but he was still scared for Sophia and he needed a little time alone to deal with all of the implications of what had happened and what still could happen; and truth be told, he wanted to be prepared when she woke up again; he was going to go pull that engagement ring he'd bought her out of his dresser so he could propose to her properly before more time slipped away from them.

Sara watched him go and she let herself get lost in thought. Was it fair for her to be so upset with Grissom to not want to go public? And what was so wrong with her that he didn't want anyone to know that they had been seeing each other in the first place? Why couldn't he see that she couldn't live like that anymore? She had agreed with him to keep it quiet in the beginning because she'd been afraid that he might change his mind; and then when she'd realized that he seemed to be a whole different person when they were alone, she began to get frustrated that no one knew that he was the single most important person in her life. Something worse than falling out of love with Grissom had happened; she had begun to resent him. That was something she wasn't sure she could fix easily.

And then what in the world had happened with Nick? Why had she kissed him back? What had made him kiss her in the first place? Did he actually have feelings for her; or did the emotions of the day fuel something that they'd regret? But did she regret it? She had returned that kiss with everything in her being and she had wanted more; a lot more. For the first time in a long, long time, she found herself wanting someone other than Gil Grissom. But was it real? Was he just convenient? Was he just a fantasy that she'd thought about now and then over the course of the years that they'd known each other? She really didn't know. What she did know though was that she was confused and had no idea what to do about it all.

She didn't hear the footsteps until someone was sinking into the seat next to her; a sleepy drawl breaking through her thoughts. "How's Sophia?"

Sara glanced up and found herself staring into Nick's eyes, completely unprepared for the feelings she found surging through her. "Uh, she's awake...I mean she woke up...she's sleeping again...Vartan went home to get some rest."

"Thank God." Nick let out a sigh of relief; he'd managed to get about an hour of sleep before he'd woken up feeling as if he had been rendered useless and so he decided to take a shower and head over to the hospital. He really hadn't expected to run into Sara; but he reasoned that he had to talk to her about what had happened sometime and since fate had dealt him an opportunity, he was going to take it.

"Yeah." Sara didn't really want to look at him; she wasn't sure what to say to him. Although, clearly he deserved some sort of explanation for what had happened. She just didn't know how to tell him that while she was apparently very attracted to him she was in a secret relationship with their supervisor that was obviously serious enough to exchange house keys, but somehow not serious enough for anyone else on the planet to know about it; so please forgive me for letting you help me cheat on him. No, there was just no good way to say that, especially since now she and Grissom weren't really together.

Nick didn't seem to have those same reservations; he just started talking. "Sara, I wanted to apologize for earlier..." He took a deep breath and continued. "I had no idea...ok, I knew you were interested in him, but I didn't know that there was actually something going on between you and Grissom."

Sara's eyes were wide and she dared to glance over at him again. "Was." Where the hell had that come from? She had only _just_ broken things off with Grissom and even that was ill defined.

Nick furrowed his brow in confusion. "I'm sorry; what was that?" He clearly wasn't picking up on what she was saying because if he'd heard correctly, the romantic relationship with Grissom was past tense.

Sara let out a groan and raised her hand to her forehead. "I broke things off with him." Clearly she was going to have to explain far more than she'd intended to; for some reason after keeping things hidden for so long, she felt the need to just spill it all out.

"Why?" Nick was confused; he thought that Sara had wanted a relationship with Grissom; he only thought it would never happen and that was one of the reasons he thought he'd take the risk earlier and kiss her.

Sara looked over at him again; afraid she just might get lost in those brown eyes of his. "He didn't want anyone to know we were seeing each other...after what happened to Sophia I decided I just can't do it anymore." She felt her voice catch for an instant. "The worst part about it is that he just doesn't get it, Nick."

"Oh, Sara." Nick tried very hard to push his own feeling aside for a moment and be the friend to her that he'd always been, but he just didn't know what in the hell to say.

She found herself looking into his eyes and her mouth just took over again. "I told him that you kissed me." She regretted saying it almost as soon as the words registered in her mind.

"Oh, shit." Nick clearly thought he was a dead man by the way his eyes widened. He felt his mouth go dry as he looked at her again. "I am _really_ sorry about that, Sara...if I'd known you two were seeing each other, I wouldn't have done it." He wasn't sure how else to convey that to her.

The faintest hint of a smirk tugged at the edges of Sara's mouth as she looked back at Nick and considered the irony of it all. "I'm not so sure you should be sorry at all."


	13. Chapter 13

Nick wasn't sure what to make of Sara's comment; he'd reasoned himself into a corner that the kiss had been one big huge mistake that was going to do nothing but come back and bite him right in the ass. For her to say that maybe he shouldn't be regretting it had him completely thrown and quite honestly on guard. He might wear his heart out on his sleeve, but it sure as hell didn't mean he was going to throw it out there for someone to walk all over when it was clear as day to him that despite Sara's confession that she'd broken things off with Grissom there was a whole lot there that still needed to be dealt with. He wasn't about to risk throwing away a very good friendship on a fling with Sara because she was having doubts about her relationship with Grissom. "Why?"

Sara knew that she ought to expect that he'd question her; she knew him well enough to know that over the years he'd become less happy go lucky and more cynical about human nature. She'd been cynical for years; she recognized all the signs. Although, she had to say about Nick that he still seemed to find a silver lining where anyone else would claim one never existed. She looked back over at him and let out a sigh. "I don't know." A tiny smile played at her lips. "I think if you hadn't, it would have taken me longer to tell Grissom that we can't go on like this...that maybe he isn't what I've really needed this whole time."

"What if he is?" Nick looked skeptical; she'd been quite nearly obsessed with Gil Grissom for the last two or three years; you didn't just turn around one day and decide that you were over someone like that; or did you? Her implication wasn't very clear to him either; did his kiss put in motion something that she already had intended to do, or did it open up the possibility of something between them? He had to know; he respected Grissom and he wasn't about to step on his toes no matter how he felt about Sara.

Sara leaned back in her chair with a furrowed brow and then glanced up and her eyes met Nick's. "I'm not going to deny that I have strong feelings for him; that maybe I even still love him...but it's not enough; I don't want to have to hide it...I shouldn't have to. Vartan was right; what the hell good is falling in love with someone if you can't tell the whole world?" She felt a pang as she considered what she was giving up; what it all meant. Just because Nick had kissed her did not mean that he was going to want to immediately be in a relationship with her; she wasn't even sure that's what she wanted.

"You're right; you shouldn't have to hide it." Nick was frustrated and more of it than he'd intended came out in his tone. "But what do you expect, Sara? He's your supervisor; on a professional level it's unethical. If he wants to keep his job, if _you_ want to keep _your_ job; you can't let anyone in authority know." It really pissed him off that the two of them hadn't figured that out before they'd gotten into a romantic relationship; you'd think that two people who thought through everything so logically would have addressed that issue up front.

Sara crossed her arms over her chest and watched the conflicted emotions flickering across Nick's face. "You're right; I know you're right...but I'm not willing to give up my career...I have to eat." She let out a bitter sort of laugh. "And he; well he at least could ask for a demotion." She knew it was a lot to ask; he'd worked very hard to get where he was; but if she was the love of his life as he claimed wasn't she worth it?

"That's a huge blow to a guy; a demotion." Nick knew that he would have a hard time with something like that, but if it was for a woman that he truly loved, he wouldn't even think about it he would just do it. He also knew that Grissom wasn't like other guys; the man was married to his career; the fact that he'd even consented to be in a romantic relationship with Sara was a shock; but for Grissom to give up everything that made him feel secure for something as intangible as a romance, even if it was with Sara; that would be the most difficult thing the man would ever do. Nick wasn't sure Grissom had it in him.

Sara looked at Nick for a long moment and when she spoke again, her voice was soft and wistful; you could just hear the longing to be loved by someone in it. "So he really doesn't love me as much as he says he does."

Nick shrugged his shoulders a little and then seeing her looking so fragile for that instant, he melted. "The thing is, Sara, it doesn't matter what _Grissom_ wants from this; it matters what _you_ want from this. You told him what you needed and he either couldn't or wasn't willing to give it to you. I'm sure it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you because I think we both know that he does; I think maybe it just reveals the depth of his feelings...and maybe the depth of his fear." He wanted to pull her into a hug, but he didn't dare; he was feeling a little fragile right then too. He had feelings for one of his best friends and he was counseling her about the man she'd just broken up with; who he wasn't so sure she wasn't still in love with.

"Yeah, I think you're right." She smiled softly, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees as she folded her hands together. "I think that's what I've been feeling for a while now and then when this all happened to Sophia, I just had enough." She glanced over at Nick who was clenching his jaw. Her brow furrowed as she sat up and reached over and touched his arm. "I'm sorry."

Nick's eyes snapped to hers. "What are you sorry about?" He could think of a number of reasons she should be sorry; sorry for not telling anyone that she and Grissom were seeing each other; sorry for not making sure their relationship was professionally ethical; and maybe most of all sorry for kissing him back like she meant it when she wasn't available. Yeah, that was the thing that she should be the sorriest for because he couldn't get the memory of how her lips felt out of his mind.

Sara was perceptive and she knew that she had really crossed a line with Nick that had altered their friendship significantly; she knew that it wasn't really fair to make him listen about her now defunct relationship with Grissom when it was obvious that he had feelings for her; she knew he had feelings because how the hell could a man kiss like that if he didn't? "I'm sorry that I..." She let out a breath and cleared her throat, looking him straight in the eye. "I wanted that kiss...I knew that I shouldn't, but I couldn't help myself."

Nick wasn't sure what to make of that either; he didn't want to alienate her by asking harsh questions, but at the same time, he hadn't put his heart out like this in a long, long time. "I can't be that guy who just happens to be there to pick up the pieces, Sara." He had an earnest look in his eyes as he pleaded with her to understand. "See, I think I care too much about you to do that."

"I don't want you to be that guy either, Nick." Sara began fumbling a little with her words. "I didn't realize until you kissed me just how much I wanted to kiss you back." She smiled a little as a somewhat cocky grin spread across Nick's face. "I didn't realize that I felt that way until then."

Nick looked over at her again, a hint of sadness registering in his eyes as his grin relaxed into a soft smile. "Feelings aren't enough, Sara." He let out a sigh. "You need to decide what it is you really want; who you really want. You might think you're free...but I don't think you really are yet."


	14. Chapter 14

It was only a few hours later when Vartan returned; despite his best efforts to get some sleep at home, he just couldn't seem to rest when Sophia was lying in the ICU. He knew that Sara Sidle would call him if Sophia woke up; but he was anxious; he wanted to be there the moment she woke up. He was a man on a desperate mission with an engagement ring burning a hole in his pocket. As he sauntered into the waiting area of the ICU, he found that the population had grown considerably since he'd left. As the word seemed to have spread that Sophia had woken up, several other law enforcement types had made their way to the hospital. Sara was still there, barely staying awake from all appearances flanked by Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown; both of which looked like they were giving her a run for her money in the fighting sleep department. Captain Brass, a couple of uniforms he couldn't quite remember the names of, and Catherine Willows rounded out the crowd.

Vartan looked hopeful. "Any news?" He didn't address anyone in particular.

Warrick glanced up at the detective. "Nothing new." He could see the stress on Vartan's face and offered him a twitch of his lips in an upward direction. "She's in good hands; as soon as she wakes up again, you'll know, man." When he'd arrived the tall lanky CSI had been surprised to find his wife working in the ICU; the last time they'd spoken which was going on a month and a half now, she'd been working down in the ER. There had been an awkward few moments before she'd suggested that they had a lot to talk about; the way she'd said it offered Warrick hope that maybe things between them might yet be salvaged. The fact that she wasn't working in the same department as her ex any longer just added to his hope.

Vartan sank down into a plastic chair; it seemed that the more that people knew about his relationship with Sophia, the more they seemed supportive. He regretted ever deciding that they needed to keep things a secret for the sake of their jobs. Apparently, the real issue for him had been commitment phobia; something that had completely disappeared the longer he'd been with Sophia, but by then, things were well under wraps and neither of them seemed to know how to let the secret out of the bag.

The sound of the grizzled voice of Jim Brass cut through the too quiet waiting room. "She's a fighter; she's gonna be just fine." He sounded confident; maybe he had reason to be, he'd faced death himself and had come out the other side only a little worse for the wear. He liked Alex Vartan and he knew that bolstering his spirits even though he'd already seen Sophia earlier could only serve to help him. The seasoned cop in Brass had softened considerably around the people that he worked with on a day to day basis; he had found that they had become a family of sorts for him that he didn't know he could count on until they were already stepping up to be there for him; he knew they'd be there for Sophia as well.

"Thanks, Jim." Vartan offered the best smile he had in him at that moment. He would rest much easier once he'd asked Sophia to marry him and when she'd been moved to a regular hospital room; for now he appreciated the support.

Footsteps approached the group and as Tina Brown spoke, all eyes were on her. "She's awake." She smiled at Vartan. "And she's asking for you again...but I can only give you a few minutes, she really needs her rest." She glanced briefly over at Warrick, smiling softly at him, her eyes locking with his as she seemed to be trying to communicate something that maybe words couldn't convey.

"Yeah, thank you." Vartan smiled and took a deep breath as he pulled himself out of the chair and made his way into the ICU room. The sounds of different monitors beeping seemed to hum into the background as he took in the sight of the woman he was in love with.

Sophia's blond hair fanned out a little across the pillow and she smiled weakly as Vartan approached. "Hey, you shaved." Her voice was raspy.

"I even showered." Alex grinned at her as he sat down on the edge of her bed, enveloping her hand with his. He leaned in and softly kissed her, memorizing the taste and feel of her lips as if this might be the last chance he'd have. As he pulled away, he had a serious expression on his face.

"What?" Sophia looked worried; worried that maybe he knew something about her condition that she didn't and worried that maybe all of this was just too much for him.

Vartan smiled again. "I've just been doing a lot of thinking about us." He gently stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "Even before this happened, I'd been thinking about it, but this...well, this just made me realize that I can't keep us a secret anymore."

Sophia laughed softly, wincing as she realized that her side was sore in spite of the pain meds she was on. "Somehow I think that the cat's out of the bag." She was perceptive even in her current state.

Vartan laughed too. "Yeah, pretty much the entire department knows by now." His expression turned serious again. "I love you, Sophia; I want a life with you...I thought that maybe I was going to lose you and..." His voice broke as he realized just how close he really had come to losing her.

Sophia reached up and touched his cheek. "Hey, don't you start talking like that...I was scared enough for both of us." She really wasn't sure how she was; she had thought at the scene that she was really going to die; the fact that she'd woken up at all was a complete surprise to her. A surprise that she was incredibly grateful for because it meant that she had a second chance; and their line of work, that was something you didn't see too often.

He smiled at her; he wasn't sure what he'd ever done to deserve someone like her in the first place, but whatever it was, he was glad he'd done it. "Yeah." He squeezed her hand and leaned in to kiss her again.

Sophia smiled as he pulled away. "I can't wait until I can get the hell out of here and return that kiss properly." No matter how long she was stuck in that hospital, it was going to be too damn long.

Vartan smirked. "It'll just be that much better." He could wait; as long as she was ok, he'd wait a lifetime for her.

Sophia rolled her eyes; sometimes the man could be far too romantic for his own good. "The hell it will; you'll be just as frustrated as I will; only I'll at least have the benefit of pain medication." She let out a yawn; she hadn't realized just how tired talking could make you when your body was doing its best to heal.

"Ok, maybe I will..." Vartan paused for just a moment as he reached into his pocket. "But I'm hoping that you'll know I'll be waiting." He held up the ring until it caught her eye and as her jaw seemed to drop a little, Vartan continued with a smile on his face. "I love you, Sophia, and I want to marry you; would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

It took a fraction of a second for tears to stream down Sophia's face and she answered him without any hesitation. "Yes, Alex, yes, oh, yes."


	15. Chapter 15

Grissom arrived at the hospital while Vartan was still in with Sophia; as he turned the corner into the waiting room, he felt his heart catch in his throat as he realized that Sara was there and she had fallen asleep against Nick's shoulder; the younger man looking entirely too comfortable with the arrangement. It served to renew his doubt against Sara's claim that there had been nothing romantic going on between she and Nick until that kiss she'd told him about. Grissom tried to shove his feelings down; surprised when they didn't quite cooperate. He had become so accustomed in his life to controlling his feelings that at that moment he realized that he probably cared about Sara far more than he'd ever imagined that he could. That revelation made him question why he'd allowed himself to open up to her in the first place; the pain he felt at having been rejected in favor of a younger, stronger man let wave after wave of doubt surge over him; his worst fears realized and he wasn't sure he was ever going to let himself love anyone again if this was what the end of a relationship felt like.

As Grissom approached the group that had assembled, Nick glanced up and a flicker of something that was a mixture of fear, guilt, and challenge registered in his eyes as he regarded his mentor. Grissom didn't want a confrontation under these circumstances; he was not going to announce a relationship that Sara obviously didn't want; he wasn't going to put up a fight for her. It seemed that it would be easier to take the path of least resistance and just let her go. And yet, he wasn't sure he wanted to do that. Things had been good in their own little world; why fate had to conspire against them and make Sara want to tell everyone about them he didn't quite understand. Didn't it make more sense to keep work at work and their life outside of work to themselves? He didn't have any answers that would magically solve the situation.

"Gil." Brass greeted his friend as he approached. It was clear to the seasoned detective that all was not right with Gil Grissom. If he had to venture a guess he might say it had something to do with the brunette that had fallen asleep against Nick Stokes, but then Sara had long ago become a bit of a taboo subject with Gil and so it was better left to another time to discuss.

Grissom looked sufficiently concerned as he queried Brass and Catherine. "How is she?" Perhaps if he focused on Sophia he could push aside the distraction that Sara was causing.

Catherine smiled at him; she could read him like a book and she knew that he was not doing well despite any claim she was sure he would make to the contrary. "Vartan is in with her now; it's too early to tell for sure, but she's coherent and it looks she just might make it." She hoped that a bastard like their still unidentified gunman wouldn't have the final word by taking Sophia's life in the end. She knew the determined blond was as tough as she was beautiful and if anyone could overcome her injuries, Sophia would; especially with someone like Alex Vartan to live for.

Grissom nodded somberly, his eyes drifting over towards Sara. Someone once said that not being in control could be a very freeing experience; he didn't believe that just then. He had no control over the woman between Nick and Warrick and the helplessness that seemed to engulf him didn't feel very freeing at all. On the contrary, it felt suffocating and confining; as if he would never be able to escape it. He reflexively went to the one thing he knew well. "How's the case?"

Catherine shot a smirk towards Brass before she answered Grissom's question. "We're handling it; Greg wanted to process a few more pieces of evidence and then I told him he better get his ass home and get some sleep."

Grissom had almost forgotten that Greg had been on the team that had taken over the case from him and Nick and Sara. He made a mental note to remember that come review time. Greg had worked very hard to become a CSI after working in the lab for years and he'd taken a considerable pay cut to do so. As much as he could goof off; he worked hard and Grissom had confidence in his ability to take great care with the evidence. "Good."

"Warrick and I decided to come by for a little while before we both went home." Catherine continued, sensing that Grissom needed a distraction from the arm that Nick now had around Sara's shoulders. She thought the whole situation looked rather innocent, they were friends after all and Nick's arm was probably falling asleep. If Gil really wanted to make an issue out of it, he really ought to grow a backbone and do something about his feelings for Sara before it was too late; but Grissom had a tendency to assume the worst about what few relationships he had rather than approach things the way he approached work and consider the evidence first.

"Oh." Grissom looked exhausted; he really wasn't sure why he'd come by the hospital now; he wouldn't get in to see Sophia anytime soon, Sara didn't want to talk to him, and the only other person that knew about his relationship with her seemed to want her for himself. In short, he felt entirely defeated.

At that moment, Alex Vartan emerged from Sophia's room looking like he'd just won the biggest jackpot Vegas had to offer. The expression on his face seemed to infuse hope into the rest of the room before spilling out down the hallway because it couldn't contain it all. "She said yes, Sophia said yes." His voice was thick with emotion and pride that the woman he loved had agreed to marry him and that he could tell the world; that he didn't have to hide it from anyone.

Brass let out a knowing chuckle; he knew that the pair was serious, but he hadn't realized that Vartan was so anxious to tie the knot that he couldn't wait to ask Sophia to marry him until she was released from the hospital. He stepped forward to be the first one to congratulate the younger man. "So when's the happy day?"

Vartan let out a nervous laugh as he responded. "We haven't quite gotten that far yet." There was time to worry about that; right now Sophia just needed to heal so she could get out of this damn hospital and come home to be with him.

Warrick unfolded himself from his seat; doing his best not to jostle Sara who was just now blinking her eyes awake from where she'd fallen asleep against Nick. "Congratulations." His own hope that love could make it through the tough times had been renewed just a little bit. He really did want to try and work things out with Tina; the only problem had been that both of their prides had gotten so far in the way so they couldn't see the reason they'd gotten together in the first place.

Vartan looked grateful at the support he was receiving. "Thank you." He glanced around the room at these people who had rallied around him and wanted to be there for Sophia; maybe they weren't the people he would have expected, but he knew that he would look at them in a different light from now on.

Vartan's words began to register in Sara's mind about the same time that she realized that Nick's arm was around her shoulders. She couldn't help but smile at the detective. "I'm really happy for you." She genuinely was happy that they'd managed to find each other and weren't afraid to tell the world about it; that was more than she could say about her relationship with Grissom. Her smile widened perceptibly as Nick's arm tightened for a moment in a side hug before he let it fall to the back of her chair.

As Grissom watched this exchange, it finally dawned on him what Sara had been talking about. Nick aside, she was right, he just didn't get it. What Sara seemed to want more than just being loved in secret was to share that happiness with the rest of the world; with her friends. A sadness enveloped him as he realized that he didn't know if he could give her that; if he really was willing to give it all up to keep her; and even worse, if he did give it all up, how could he know that he wasn't already too late?


	16. Chapter 16

It took Sara a long moment to realize that somewhere in the last few minutes, while she'd been dozing on Nick's shoulder, Grissom had arrived. She felt a pang that she couldn't quite identify. Part of her was completely torn, she had wanted to be with him for so long and now it seemed that just being with him wasn't enough; she hadn't considered when she'd agreed to keep it all a secret that falling for someone made you want to tell the entire world. The fact that she couldn't do that had eaten away at her heart and she wasn't sure that she could recover from that even if Grissom changed his mind somewhere down the road.

She noticed the joy on Alex Vartan's face and she realized that what he had was something she very much wanted someday; but if Grissom was unwilling to go public with this relationship that they'd kept under wraps these last few months then that meant that he would never marry her. Not that she felt like she was anywhere close to being ready for it; but the fact that if he couldn't acknowledge publicly that he loved her then the possibility of it didn't even exist. If he loved her, why couldn't he acknowledge her? Maybe it was this that she found the most hurtful; these people that they both would trust with their lives he didn't believe they could trust with their hearts. Her eyes locked with Grissom's for a fraction of a second before she looked away. The fact that he didn't want to tell the world made her question if he really loved her at all.

The feel of Nick's hand coming to rest on her knee snapped her attention his direction; and it took her a minute to realize that he'd said something that she hadn't heard. She felt like a complete fool as she fumbled with her words. "I'm sorry, what?"

Nick smiled at her, there was an edge of something in his eyes that Sara couldn't really identify, but his smile put her at ease as he spoke. "I said I'm gonna take off." A hint of nervousness infused his expression for a fraction of a second. "Give me a call later, if you want to that is." He had been thinking a great deal about what they'd talked about earlier and about that kiss they'd shared. It seemed to him that there was a long way between what he wanted and where they were and he still wasn't completely sure what Sara wanted, but it didn't mean that he couldn't continue to be the friend to her he'd always been while testing out the waters a little bit more. Regardless of whether or not she wanted to be with Grissom in the end, he knew that he didn't want to lose her as his friend.

Sara nodded before she even thought about it. "Of course I will." They both still had several days still until IA completed their investigation and put them back on duty; she reasoned that spending time with Nick certainly sounded far better than sitting around at home wishing she was at work or worse, mulling over the situation with Grissom over and over again.

Nick glanced over at Grissom and then back towards Sara with a meaningful glance. "You gonna be ok?" He knew he really couldn't say any more than that.

"Yeah, sure." She wasn't so sure she wasn't lying, but what could she do? At some point in time she thought it was likely that Grissom would want to talk to her again about what had happened, but she was also fairly certain that it wasn't going to be right here.

Nick smiled and patted her knee before standing up and stretching a little to try and shake out the kinks in his neck that had developed while sitting in that hard plastic chair. He glanced around the room and addressed no one in particular. "I'm gonna head out and try and get some sleep." He wasn't sure he would actually get any, but he did feel a measure better after talking to Sara and learning that she hadn't really regretted that kiss after all; but it sure as hell did complicate things. He could take complicated though; the fact that she had doubts about being with Grissom did give him some hope that maybe just maybe he might have a chance with her at some point.

As Nick headed down the hallway toward the elevator, he heard a familiar voice and glanced off in the direction it was coming from. He paused for just a fraction of a second as he watched Warrick and his estranged wife Tina softy talking in a room just down the hallway from where Sophia was.

"I'm sorry, Warrick...I never meant for us to stop talking." Tina looked regretful that something so small had steamrolled into something this big.

"Yeah, me too." Warrick didn't waste another moment as he pulled Tina into his arms and just held onto her.

Nick felt like he was intruding, but he couldn't help but smile that his friend Warrick who had been so miserable had finally had the opportunity to work things out with Tina. He might have become more cynical over the last couple of years, but things like that renewed his hope that despite setbacks, there could still be happy endings. The elevator seemed to take an eternity to come and as he stood there waiting, he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. He glanced up and immediately felt his heart sink to his shoes as Grissom seemed to be walking purposefully in his direction.

"Nick, do you have a moment?" Grissom seemed all business, but there was something about his demeanor that made Nick nervous.

"Uh, sure." Nick didn't want to let on that the idea of being in the same elevator as his supervisor right at that moment was the last thing he wanted. His mind started swirling with all the possibilities; Grissom was a brilliant criminalist, surely he could dispose of a body without anyone knowing about it.

The elevator arrived just then and Grissom smiled. "After you." Clearly he intended to have a private conversation with Nick; although he was beginning to second guess himself that he should even do this. Wasn't Sara a grown woman, couldn't she make up her own mind; hadn't she already made up her own mind? Grissom wasn't sure he should even bring up the elephant standing there in the elevator with them as it began to make its descent down to the ground floor of the hospital.

Nick regarded Grissom a bit warily, for a man who wanted to talk to him, he was pretty silent; of course, just being in the same room with the man at times could make you nervous if you expected him to take you to task. The few seconds that it took to make it to the lobby felt like minutes to Nick.

"It's good that Sophia's doing well." Grissom wasn't really one for small talk, but he really wasn't sure that bringing up Sara was a good idea after all.

"Yeah, it is." Nick was feeling even more nervous now; he had no idea where Grissom was going to go with this, but he reasoned that they were off the clock and whatever he had to say was probably personal so he just dug right in. "Good thing for Vartan too; I'm glad the man got the chance to go public about his relationship with her."

Grissom looked blindsided for just a moment as he tried to determine exactly what Nick was trying to say. The elevator door opened and they walked out into the lobby towards the front door of the hospital. "They make a fine couple." He didn't want to address his own failings, not when he was still trying to figure out whether he could do the one thing that might save his relationship with Sara. Might, not would. He wasn't sure he was willing to take that step into the unknown.

"Yes, they do." Nick had a furrowed brow as they walked outside and then he stopped and turned towards Grissom. He did not have time for dancing around the issue; he needed to know if Grissom was going to be a man or not, and if he wasn't then he was going to pursue Sara himself and he wouldn't have a single regret for doing so. "It's too bad you couldn't do that with Sara. She deserves far better than that."

Grissom looked taken aback at the abrupt comment, clearly not expecting Nick to address what he'd wanted to avoid. He let out a tired sigh and looked at the younger man with a troubled expression. "You're right, she does deserve better." He meant it, he loved her, but he didn't know if he could give her the one thing that she'd asked for because it would mean that he'd have to give up everything he'd worked for.

Nick's expression softened. "I don't mean that you don't deserve her, Grissom, I just meant that she doesn't deserve to be kept a secret." He was bewildered how someone would want to keep it a secret in the first place. "I don't get it."

Grissom could appreciate where Nick was coming from, but he also hadn't already compromised his career by dating a subordinate; a subordinate who was not sure she wanted to be with him any longer. He had almost resigned himself to losing her completely. "It's complicated."

Nick scoffed. "Complicated my ass; you're either in love with her or you're not. You either go public with her or she's going to wonder if you ever loved her in the first place." He had a vague nagging thought that if Sara found out about this conversation she was going to give him an earful right after she kicked his ass.

Grissom was beginning to get a bit worked up at the exchange. "There's a lot at stake, Nick; there aren't rules prohibiting _you_ from dating one of your coworkers; if this came out, my career would be over." His career had been the most important thing in his life for the longest time; no one else before Sara had ever put him in the position of even considering giving it up.

Nick wasn't put off at all and he didn't even pause as he answered. "Well if it was for Sara, I'd think losing my career would be more than worth it." He felt sad for Grissom he really did; the man had held for a brief moment the love of a woman that would have adored him for the rest of his life, but he didn't seem to understand that to keep her, there was a price and in the end, it was well worth it.

Grissom felt his heart sink as something dawned on him and he looked Nick right in the eye. "You love her, don't you?"


	17. Chapter 17

"This isn't about how I feel, Grissom. This is about Sara." Nick clenched his jaw in frustration, he didn't want to detract from the issue at hand; he needed to know for sure if the man before him; his friend, was going to be a man. Once he made his own decision to pursue Sara, nothing was going to deter him except maybe Sara herself.

"But you love her, don't you?" Grissom wasn't put off. He wanted to know what Nick's intention was here; was he simply a concerned friend or did this go much deeper? He had lost faith in the security of his relationship with Sara and he wasn't sure he could risk everything to win her back if there was even a remote chance that she wouldn't pick a younger man like Nick.

Nick wasn't going to answer his question; Sara didn't even really know exactly how he felt beyond that kiss they'd shared, he certainly didn't feel right laying his cards out to Grissom before he'd had a chance to consider exactly how he wanted to play them in the first place. "Do _you_ love her?"

Grissom looked at him with an exasperated expression. "How can you ask me that?" He had been perfectly happy and secure in his relationship with Sara until all hell had broken loose; technically Nick hadn't known that Sara and he had been seeing each other when he'd kissed her, but it didn't change the after effects. He thought he loved her, wasn't that why they had been seeing each other; why it had taken so long to finally take that leap into being together?

Nick let out a frustrated growl and his words came out a bit more intensely than he'd intended. "Maybe because if you loved her the way you _think_ you do, you wouldn't have to decide what was more important; her or your career." Before she was anything else to him, she was his friend and he did not like the way that the man she'd been seeing had been treating her. If you loved someone you didn't hide it unless you had something to hide.

Grissom didn't know what to say; he wasn't used to being taken to task by a subordinate, but this wasn't about work and he really couldn't reprimand Nick for telling the truth; regardless of whether Nick would admit his feelings for Sara, Grissom knew that the younger man was right. He looked defeated as he glanced up. "And you think you'd be better for her." It was a statement of resignation; of a man who had been blindsided and had no idea what to do next.

This was difficult for Nick; he had a great deal of respect for Grissom, but he wasn't going to stand aside any longer, Grissom had his chance with Sara and now he wanted his own. "Maybe I do. I know I certainly would make sure she never had a reason to doubt how I felt about her."

Grissom didn't want to argue; he wanted Sara to be happy and he knew that Nick was a good man. What he couldn't reconcile though was the way his heart felt; he wasn't sure he was ever going to be able to put the pieces back together. "I hope you'll make her happy."

"And you're not even going to put up a fight for her." Nick looked at him incredulously; it didn't make sense to him at all that Grissom couldn't see what he could, what everyone else had seen for the last few years. For some reason that he didn't quite understand, Sara had loved this quirky entomologist and yet he couldn't seem to get it through his self impose armor that she might just come back to him if he'd just make an effort. Sure there were consequences to be had for going public; he understood that, but even if they both lost their careers, they would have still had each other; wasn't that enough?

Grissom didn't say anything further he simply turned and headed towards his vehicle, intent on some unknown destination.

Nick just watched him go; feeling sorry for the man, but also feeling a wad of nerves unfurl in the pit of his stomach as he considered that the road was wide open and if he wanted to pursue Sara he could. He stood there for a long few minutes before he started towards his own vehicle; he didn't hear the footsteps approaching until he heard that voice that made his heart melt.

"Nick." Sara knew that he'd left a while before, but she had also seen Grissom leave right after him and she was afraid of what might have transpired between them. It seemed that her fears were all for naught as she noticed the smile spreading across Nick's face at the sight of her and she didn't seen Grissom anywhere.

"Hey." Nick couldn't keep his admiration for her to himself as he studied her for a moment. "You heading home?" He knew he had to pace himself; he couldn't just let her know how he was feeling and expect her to be in step with him, not when she was still questioning how she was feeling about Grissom.

"Yeah...Sophia's sleeping and Brass is there for Vartan." It seemed like there was something she wanted to ask him but wasn't quite sure how. "I think both Catherine and Warrick left too." She couldn't help but smile at him as they continued walking.

They neared Nick's vehicle and it occurred to him that Sara was looking at him expectantly; he didn't see her small economy car anywhere. "Where did you park?" He didn't see her compact car anywhere close by.

Sara smiled at him nervously as she pointed to the opposite corner of the lot. "I'm way over there actually; I just wanted to talk to you for a minute." She wasn't sure this was really a good idea; she was still trying to process things in her own mind right now, but she knew that she needed to something even if it turned out in the long run to be the wrong thing.

For a second Nick felt fear, wondering if maybe she was going to tell him that she had decided that she wanted to go after Grissom and that the kiss they'd shared had all been a big mistake, even if it had been incredible. "Oh?"

Sara cleared her throat, glancing at the ground before looking back at him. "I've been thinking." She could read the nervousness in his eyes and she smiled reassuringly at him. "I know you said that feelings weren't enough..." She felt a surge of nerves as she continued. "And maybe it isn't; it certainly wasn't enough for Grissom and I." She looked at him for a long moment before she continued. "But aren't feelings a good place to start?"

Nick hadn't really thought about that; he had been so focused on the revelation that Sara had been secretly seeing Grissom and the intensity of his own feelings that he'd lost sight of the fact that a relationship had to start somewhere. Sara was right; feelings alone might not be enough to keep a relationship going, but they were certainly a good starting point. A smile began to spread across his face as what she was implying began to sink in.

Sara started to babble. "I know you think that I'm still hung up on Grissom...and maybe part of me is...I can't forget about him overnight...I just know that when you kissed me I felt something...something that I don't think I'd ever really felt before." Nerves were beginning to get the best of her because Nick still hadn't said anything and she began to think that maybe he didn't really want her after all. "Of course I understand if you don't want..."

Nick cut her words off with his lips. The idea that she wanted to try a relationship with him was enough for now; he could take all of the unknown and the risks; hell, he'd shout it from the top of the break room table if that would make her happy. He pulled away grinning wildly. "No, I want."

Sara let out a soft laugh as she looked into his eyes. "I _want_ too." She found herself winding her arms around his neck and leaning in for another kiss, relishing in the idea that they were standing in a public place and anyone in the entire world could see them together.

Nick leaned back against his rig pulling Sara against him and deepening the kiss. They stood there like that for a good few minutes making out while leaning against the side of Nick's truck in the middle of Desert Palm Hospital's parking lot; neither one of them even noticed when a LVPD issued Denali drove by on his way out of the parking lot with one Gil Grissom behind the wheel.


	18. Chapter 18

Sara couldn't seem to stop smiling as she pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex; she and Nick had stood outside the hospital for quite a while sharing long slow kisses and she'd had to carefully extricate herself from his embrace so that she could go home and get some sleep.

Alone.

She was sure that Nick would have been more than happy to go home with her, but she needed to think. Despite her words to Nick that she wanted to try and see where these feelings between them might go, things were anything but clear to her. It was going to take some time to work out in her mind how to deal with the feelings she still had for Grissom; the good feelings as well as the anger and frustration she felt towards him for not seeing how important it was to her to go public. She was going to have to see him on a daily basis and she didn't want to have an awkward working relationship. Shit. Who the hell was she kidding? Other than the last few months while they'd been dating, ever since she'd come to Vegas, she'd had an awkward working relationship with Grissom.

She also knew that Nick would have no problem telling anyone and everyone about them; and while part of her found that comforting another part made her scared shitless. What if things didn't work out? What if their friendship ended up being ruined as a result? What if the rest of the team had a problem with it? Who was she kidding? The only one who might have a problem with the way things were was her. She had made her choice, but she was already questioning if it was the right choice; not that she didn't want Nick, because she did, she wanted him so much it scared her. The problem was there was a part of her still wanted Grissom desperately, only she couldn't continue living a double life, she couldn't continue to build up resentment towards him for insisting that their relationship had to remain a secret because if she did, she might end up hating him. And she didn't want that.

And so she had chosen Nick.

The last thing Sara expected to find as she walked into her apartment was a stricken looking Gil Grissom. She looked startled as she closed the door behind her and set her keys down on the counter. "Grissom, what are you doing here?"

Grissom looked up with such sadness around his eyes. "I thought I should get my things and give you back your key." He didn't have much there, but he reasoned that if Sara didn't want him any longer that he ought to remove any trace of himself from her apartment. The problem was that he had found some photographs they'd taken together when they'd gone to the California coast for a weekend about a month ago. They looked so happy together and he was kicking himself for being such an old stubborn fool.

"Oh." Sara hadn't really thought through all the details of dissolving their romantic relationship when things had sort of imploded earlier. She glanced over to where he sat and saw him thumbing through the photos she had been so excited to get developed. That trip had been a weekend of pure bliss and it was that in part that had contributed to why she so desperately had wanted to let everyone know about them. Then he'd gotten defensive when she'd brought it up and things seemed to spiral down from there until Sophia had been shot. That event had been the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.

Grissom let out a soft sigh. "I thought you'd be with Nick." He clearly hadn't expected her to come back here; the way he'd seen them kissing he was sure that Sara would be in his arms for a good long while; perhaps even ending up back at Nick's for a romp in the sack since both of them were still on administrative leave. He was having difficulty trying to believe it was possible that nothing romantic had been going on between the pair prior to the kiss that Sara had confessed to. He felt completely betrayed and hurt; yet he wanted Sara even still. His pride wouldn't let him tell her that though; he wanted to protect his heart and so he had determined to keep it walled off from her so he couldn't feel anymore; perhaps feeling nothing would be better than feeling all of this pain.

"No." Sara furrowed her brow and wondered if Grissom had seen her and Nick making out in the parking lot. "He went home...I needed to sleep." This was quickly becoming an awkward conversation.

There was a hurt and bitter tone to Grissom's voice as he spoke. "How long have you been seeing him, Sara?" He saw the way they were kissing each other; he couldn't reconcile a kiss like that to something brand new; he had never really kissed a woman like that.

Sara felt a stab at her heart and she wanted to lash out against him, but she felt sorry for him instead. "We _just_ decided to start seeing each other, Grissom...I told you I didn't cheat on you." She wished that she could make him understand, but then that was the problem in a nutshell; somewhere along the line they'd stopped being able to understand each other. Or maybe they'd stopped trying.

"What did I do wrong, Sara?" Grissom just stared at her as if he could somehow unlock the answer that eluded him. "What made you stop loving me?" He searched her face for anything that might help him understand.

Sara's words came out in a whisper as she realized how vulnerable he looked just then. "I haven't stopped..." This was all so damn complicated and the surprise that flickered across Grissom's face gave her a rush of guilt. It would be so much easier if she'd simply stopped caring altogether.

Grissom was confused and he looked at her gape-jawed as he tried to wrap his mind around what she'd just said. He stammered a bit. "Then why? Why this?" He gestured between them. "Why Nick? Why can't we work this out?" Deep down he knew the answer, but he didn't really want to face that right now. He stood up and walked over to where she still stood by the front door.

"Grissom, I can't do this." Sara's voice was barely audible; her resolve was crumbling a bit as she felt how near he was. She shook her head and gathered her courage; there was a reason she'd called things off; there was a reason that she'd told Nick she wanted to try a relationship with him. "I can't be a secret...I know it's asking you to maybe give up everything you've worked for, but I just can't do _this_ any other way."

Grissom stiffened. They were back to _that_ now. His tone sounded defensive. "I could lose my job...you could lose yours." He knew that she was well aware of the consequences; probably far more aware than he was and he knew it. He knew that she'd thought this through, but he just wasn't sure and apparently it was that uncertainty; that indecision which was to become his biggest failing.

"I know all that." Sara looked into his eyes; memories of tender moments they'd shared made this so difficult; he was a good and decent man and yet he was so afraid of where their relationship might go; he was perfectly happy with the status quo and she had found that she simply wanted more than that.

"Why Nick?" Grissom's eyes searched hers for some sort of understanding of what the younger man had that he didn't.

Sara smiled sadly and reached up and touched Grissom's face in spite of herself. "Nick and I just happened...I didn't look for it; it was just there." She studied his face as she continued to talk. "I feel something with him that I haven't felt before and I need to see where it's going to lead." Her brow was furrowed as she watched Grissom's expression fall.

Grissom looked at her earnestly. "I'm sorry I couldn't be what you needed me to be, Sara." His heart seemed to be breaking almost audibly.

Sara whispered. "I'm sorry too." She had put so much time and energy into the man standing before her and she was sad to see the way that things had turned out between them; she only hoped that she could salvage the friendship that they'd shared for years.


	19. Chapter 19

Sara sat on her couch for a long time after Grissom left, thumbing through the photos from that trip to California. She had been so happy then and yet as she considered what had led up to that trip, she realized even then she'd had doubts. Not doubts about her feelings really, but doubts about Grissom's. She had literally thrown herself at Grissom for years and in the back of her mind she wondered if the reason he had consented to entering into a romantic relationship with her at all was because she'd finally worn him down or if he was truly ready to act on the feelings that she knew he had. There was a part of her at least that had been thrilled to have been proven right that he did in fact have feelings for her after pushing her away for nearly as long as she'd been throwing herself at him.

But was that really love? Maybe in some odd way it was; she did love Grissom, she knew that he loved her, but was it the kind of love that could go the distance? She really didn't think it was since it wasn't even the kind of love that they could tell anyone else about. Certainly Grissom could kiss and she'd never felt particularly unsatisfied when they'd made love, but after experiencing that kiss with Nick she knew what it was like to be desired the way you desired water in the middle of a scorching desert. That kind of desire was something she'd never felt with Grissom.

She let out a sigh; sitting there all night wasn't going to do her any good; she needed sleep; good sleep and despite the fact that she wasn't very sure she was going to get any at all, she dropped the photos onto the coffee table and headed off to her bedroom. Surprisingly, she was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Nick on the other hand _couldn't_ sleep.

He'd gone for a long run after he'd gotten home, but rather than wear him out, it seemed to energize him. The stress of waiting for IA to get around to calling him in for the official inquiry and his confrontation with Grissom was wearing on him. What if Grissom _did_ decide to go after Sara; what then? Would she go back to him if he did what she asked and gave up his career so they could go public?

Nick was mentally kicking himself; he was in way too deep to not get hurt if Sara decided that she'd made a mistake. But then he tried to remind himself that there was no way that she could return his kisses like that if she didn't feel something, but he wondered if it was stronger than whatever she felt for Grissom. All he could do was ride it out and see where things went with Sara and hopefully if things went well, he would be the last man Sara dated. That thought just made him smile and then he let out a laugh as he realized if Warrick knew what he was thinking he'd be giving him shit about it. Maybe as much as Nick had given Warrick about Tina when he'd gone off and eloped; probably more actually since it was Sara they were talking about.

He let out a frustrated sigh; he was damn tired and yet he knew he wasn't going to get a lick of sleep. He glanced around his living room and shrugged his shoulders; as long as he wasn't going to be sleeping, he might as well start tackling some of the projects he'd been putting off. He pulled himself off the couch and grabbed his keys and wallet on the way out the front door for the 24-hour home improvement store a short drive away, determined to kick out a few of his projects.

By the time he got home and unloaded his rig however; Nick barely had enough energy to kick his shoes off and strip down to his boxers before crawling into bed and falling into a deep sleep.

Grissom had a migraine. He hadn't had one for a long time, but the stress he'd been experiencing had brought it on and he could tell that this one was going to be especially painful. He rubbed his temples knowing that it would probably do no good. Sara was the reason for his migraine and it was going to take far more than his prescription medication to make it go away.

He had resisted her advances for a long time; he'd convinced himself that the age difference between them was too much; that if she had the opportunity she would leave him for someone younger and perhaps more virile than he was. And as far as he was concerned, he had been right.

But if he was right, why the hell did it hurt like this? Shouldn't being right bring some measure of satisfaction or at least a logical consolation that you shouldn't allow your emotions to direct your decisions. He had to admit to himself that at least in part, the reason he'd asked Sara to come out here from San Francisco six years ago was because she intrigued him. There was something about her that had captured his curiosity and if he was honest; he found her irresistible. But he _had_ resisted; to the point that it had been painful. He'd worked at shutting her out, perhaps erring on the side of making her work harder for recognition lest he be accused of having an affair with a subordinate and risk his career.

But then Brass had been shot and he found that all of his resolve didn't seem to matter anymore. He wanted to find something meaningful outside of his work and Sara was there for him; she never judged him, she was definitely opinionated, but she never judged. She was an enigma to him and perhaps it was as much that as her beauty that caused him to finally give in and cross a line into a romantic relationship with her. And he hadn't been disappointed either; the exact opposite had been true. He never really realized how happy he could be, but in spite of that he still held something back; certain that it couldn't last, that he was setting himself up for the biggest fall of his life.

He'd even had himself reasonably convinced that the arrangement they had worked out was a success; but he hadn't counted on her changing her mind. The scientist in him reminded him that you couldn't leave out the human element when considering the data but that was exactly what he'd done in this case and he had no one to blame but himself.

One thing that didn't make sense to him though was Nick; why had the man chided him for not going after Sara when it was clear that he was in love with her himself? What chance did this aging scientist have against a young, intelligent, athletic criminalist? If he was examining the data he was the anomaly. It made far more sense for Sara to be with Nick than it did that she might actually want to be with him.

Even if he were to believe that all it would take to win her back would be to step down from his position as supervisor, it didn't guarantee that she still wouldn't choose Nick in the end; or someone else for that matter. He had convinced himself that he couldn't take that risk when she'd first let him know that she was interested, and now he was even more certain that to risk that much meant everything that brought meaning to his life would be gone.

His head was throbbing now and he decided to take the maximum dosage of his migraine medicine and try and get some sleep; he had several hours until the next shift was set to begin and he reasoned that if he happened to sleep though the beginning of it, Catherine would find him right here where he felt most comfortable and at home, on his couch in his office.


	20. Chapter 20

Sophia was scared. She felt like hell and despite reassurances that she was going to recover, she couldn't help but feel like the doctors were wrong and the fact that she had lost all sense of what time it was just fueled it. Maybe it was normal given her circumstances and what she'd been through, but she was swimming in a sea of doubts. Perhaps Vartan's proposal had been just the thing to push her over the edge. She'd known that he was serious about her, but she'd also convinced herself that the only way he would propose and go public about their relationship was if her death was imminent. Then again, maybe she was just overreacting; the man did love her, of that she had no doubt and she loved him. The thing she did doubt though was that if she wasn't able to return to duty that what had drawn him to her in the first place would be the very thing that would split them apart. She let out a frustrated groan; she really needed more human interaction or she was going to make herself crazy.

"You ok, Ms. Curtis?" Tina Brown's warm smile reflected concern; she'd heard the sound as she walked into the room to check on her patient. It was almost time to administer more pain medication, but she really didn't look like she was in all that much pain at the moment.

Sophia smiled back. "Please, call me Sophia." Her smile turned to a smirk. "And I'll be fine when I can get out of this damn bed; this is enough to drive anyone crazy." All of the damn monitors were also enough to drive someone crazy and she had half a mind to ask for a pair of earplugs so she could get some drug-free sleep, not that she minded the way it eased the pain, she just didn't enjoy the fog it put her in.

"Another day or so in here and you'll probably get to move to a private room." Tina gestured towards the waiting room. "There's a couple of people that are out there waiting to see you...do you feel up to it?" She had only worked in the ICU for a little over a month, but she had come to recognize the signs that a patient was getting bored.

Sophia smirked again. "Please tell me that Alex went home to get some sleep." She knew very well that he was probably sleeping out in the waiting room that she'd become all too familiar with over the course of her career here in Vegas. There was part of her that was glad he was there, but another part of her worried about him that by the time she got out of here he was going to be a wreck because he hadn't gotten enough sleep.

"When have men ever done anything rational when it comes to the woman they love?" Tina let out a soft laugh as she checked the monitors surrounding the room before her eyes rested on the ring that Alex Vartan had placed on Sophia's finger. "Congratulations on your engagement by the way." Somehow being able to spend some time talking with Warrick trying to work things out had renewed hope in her that true romance did exist. They had plans to get together again later if his work schedule allowed and as they'd discussed at the end of her last shift; they would just take things slow and start over; both of them had trust issues and they needed some time rebuild it.

"Thank you." Sophia smiled and then quirked an eyebrow. "You said a couple of people; who else is out there?" There were people that she wanted to see besides Alex; people that she felt compelled to thank. If it hadn't been for them, she wouldn't even be here having the opportunity to go crazy.

"Sara Sidle arrived a little while ago." Tina could tell that the CSI who was sitting out in the waiting area had a weight on her shoulders; she wasn't sure it had everything to do with the detective in the bed, but she was certain that at least part of it was. She'd spent a considerable amount of time out there with a number of other people from PD and the crime lab since Sophia had arrived at the hospital.

Sophia nodded. "Yes, I'd like to see Sara." She had a nagging feeling that Sara had taken this all on herself and she simply wanted to thank her for doing what she could; even if she'd been able to summon backup, they wouldn't have arrived in time to stop the shooter from trying to kill her.

"Ok." Tina smiled and then finished writing a few things down in Sophia's chart and headed out of the ICU room. The thought occurred to her as she left that she hoped that Warrick never found himself in these circumstances, yet she knew that it was possible.

A few moments later, a well rested looking Sara Sidle stepped into the room looking somewhat nervous. "Sophia." Sara smiled; she had been dreading this since the shooting, but she also knew that it was inevitable and she just wanted to get it over with.

"Sara." Sophia smiled, trying to put her at ease. "It's nice to see a friendly face." She could tell by Sara's demeanor that her assessment had been right on. "It's nice to see someone besides Alex too." Perhaps making things a bit more personal would help the conversation along.

"He was really worried about you." Sara seemed to relax a little as she walked over and took a seat in the chair next to her bed. "We're all glad you're going to be ok." There was a great deal of uncertainty conveyed in Sara's tone.

"That's what they tell me...although I feel like I've been hit by a truck." Sophia glanced over at Sara with a furrowed brow. "I just wanted to thank you." She could tell from the confusion that registered on Sara's face that the CSI wasn't sure why Sophia should be thanking her. "If you weren't there, Sara, he would have killed me _and_ he would have gotten away."

Sara shook her head, emotions that she had been holding back surging to the surface. "Nick shot him...I couldn't...he kept moving and he had you...I'm sorry I couldn't get a shot off before..." Sara's words trailed off. She knew logically that she'd done all she could and yet it hadn't been enough; she still felt guilty.

"Hey, Sara, this wasn't your fault." Sophia's voice was insistent. "You did what you could...I'm going to be ok." It wasn't until that moment that Sophia really believed that she was going to be ok.

Sara's face looked so serious. "We thought you had given up...you said you thought you were going to die." Sara seemed to be reliving the moments after the shooting. "Nick tried to keep you calm." It was his presence of mind that had helped keep her calm as well. "He just kept talking to you...we didn't know..." Sara's voice seemed to catch as she looked Sophia in the eyes. "We didn't know until later that you had made it through surgery."

Sophia smiled. "Alex said that people have been out there waiting with him." She was so glad for that; he tended to worry far more than he probably should, even if he had a perfectly legitimate reason to do so. It was good that he hadn't been waiting out there alone. "Thank you for that...he means so much to me."

Sara smiled; it was obvious to her that Sophia seemed to be as much in love with Alex Vartan as he was with her and she was happy for them both. "He loves you. I'm really happy for you both..Congratulations." She only hoped that she could find the same kind of love that Sophia had found with Vartan. There was definitely potential that she wanted to explore with Nick and yet she still found herself feeling regret for how things had turned out with Grissom. Maybe that was why she had come to the hospital to see Sophia rather than call Nick.

Sophia studied Sara's face for a moment; her job required being able to read people somewhat and as much as she was sure that Sara would like to believe that her life was a secret, she tended to wear her heart on her sleeve. The blond detective smiled again at the brunette CSI. "You never know where you're going to find true love, Sara."


	21. Chapter 21

Sara wasn't sure exactly where she was going, but she needed an opportunity to clear her head and a nice long drive seemed to be just the thing. The problem was she was halfway across California heading toward LA before she realized if she was going to run away from the swirl of feelings she'd had lately, packing an overnight bag at minimum would have been advisable. She was being ridiculous and she knew it. She had made a very logical decision about her relationship with Grissom based on what she needed and he couldn't seem to give and this thing with Nick had just happened right in the middle of it all. The fact that Sophia Curtis seemed to pick up on something and had asked her if she had ever considered dating a coworker had for some reason completely freaked her out. Was she afraid that someone knew that she and Grissom _had_ been dating or for people to know that she and Nick were _now_ dating? Not that she was sure she could call it that yet; they hadn't even been on an actual date. And Grissom; why the hell did the man just let her walk away? Couldn't he for once in his life grow a pair of balls and at least fight for her to make her feel like she was worth something to him at some point? Was she really making the right decision to jump into a relationship with Nick so quickly? It certainly wasn't for lack of attraction, just maybe a lack of judgment or bad timing.

Shit. Why hadn't she bothered to check the damn gas gauge before she'd left Vegas? She only hoped that she had enough gas to get to the next widening in the road that someone insisted on calling a town to fill the SUV. As it was the engine sounded like it was running on fumes. Not exactly the situation you wanted to run into in the middle of the Mohave Desert. The engine of the SUV sputtered and it was clear it was going to die, so Sara steered it well off the highway and slammed her fist in frustration against the steering wheel. What was she doing? Had relationship roulette driven her to this where she didn't even notice the fuel level in the vehicle she was driving? She couldn't recall ever running out of gas before now in her entire life.

She chided herself. "Don't lose it now, Sidle, you're in the middle of the desert with an empty tank and half of a non-fat latte, you need to figure your way out of this." She rested her head back against the seat and let out a sigh. Well this certainly was one way to clear her head; problem was if she was out here for any decent length of time she could very easily develop heat stroke. She sat there for a few minutes before the the trilling sound of her cell phone pulled her out of the funk she was in and caused her to jump. She fumbled for it and flipped it open even before she'd checked the caller ID. "Sidle." She hoped that she didn't sound desperate, but the reality was, she was desperate, otherwise she wouldn't have driven like a bat out of hell on her way out of Vegas.

"Hey, Sar." Nick's easy drawl made it evident from the tone of his voice that he was smiling. "Whatcha doing?" He clearly sounded like he was up to something; something probably very mischievous.

Sara decided that he was going to find out where she was sooner or later and right now she needed the sooner so he could haul his ass out here and help her; she knew enough as a CSI to not take help from someone she didn't know. "Uh...driving...I mean, I was driving...I'm not now." Boy she sounded brilliant, clearly she was feeling the effects of the heat already, or maybe just her own paranoia.

"Where are you?" There was something about the sound of her voice that made Nick realize that he was going to have to put his plan on hold; he'd heard that tone a couple of times and never had it been a good thing. The fact that they were newly dating made him think that perhaps her tone didn't bode well for him at all and the nerves started to swirl around as the fear that she had changed her mind resurfaced.

Sara closed her eyes and winced as she spoke even though she knew Nick couldn't see her, she was embarrassed as hell. "Uh, somewhere in the middle of the desert." Oh, yeah, that was going to give him real specific directions to find her; by the time he figure that one out, her corpse would be mummified by the heat.

"The desert?" Nick furrowed his brow and he pulled the phone away from his ear for just a moment as he considered whether he'd heard her correctly; Las Vegas was in the middle of a friggin desert.

"Uh, I'm in California...I decided to go for a drive...and I ran out of gas." There, it was out, now she could maybe get past being embarrassed and beg him to help.

"California." Nick's tone was cautious. "Why are you in California?" He really hoped she wasn't having second thoughts about dating him; because if she was, running away to California was a pretty damn big blow to his ego. A simple 'Nick, I've changed my mind' would do nicely, not that he would like that; it just would be straight to the point and she wouldn't be stranded in a dark blue vehicle with black interior in the middle of the damn desert.

"Because I turned west on I-15 instead of east." It really was as simple as that; she could have just as easily headed towards Arizona and gotten stuck in the middle of the desert over there.

"Where on I-15 are you?" Nick was worried; if she was out of gas in the middle of the desert it was going to be hotter than hell in that Denali in pretty short order.

"I don't know I wasn't really paying attention..." Sara let out a sigh. "I just wanted to think...I didn't even check the gauge before I left." She was an idiot and she knew it; she only hoped that Nick could overlook this and realize that despite his new girlfriend's lack of judgment that she wasn't always like this.

A thought occurred to Nick. "Uh, Sara, did you check the reserve tank?" He knew her well, and if she was distracted enough to forget to check the fuel level, it had probably slipped her mind that all department vehicles were equipped with a reserve fuel tank for getting to and from remote locations.

Sara let out a groan. She swore under her breath as she flipped the switch to draw from the other tank. As she turned the key in the ignition, the engine roared to life. "Ok, problem solved." She was never going to hear the end of this and she knew it. Even Greg Sanders picked right up on the second tank without anyone showing it to him the last time they'd been called out to a remote dump site to retrieve a body.

"Hey, Sar?" Nick's voice sounded so tender. He knew that the last few days had been really hard for her and he sure as hell didn't need to add to that by making her feel even smaller than she already did. A hug seemed more in order, only he really didn't know where she was exactly.

"Yeah?" She was really thinking that an impulsive trip to California was a bad idea; as she turned the vehicle onto I-15, she headed east this time, back towards Vegas.

"You ok?" He was concerned. Clearly they were going to have to talk because something was bothering her enough that she'd headed to California without really paying attention. That was definitely _not_ the Sara Sidle he knew; this was a nervous, anxious Sara that he realized was probably feeling just as insecure about their relationship as he was.

"Yeah." She was determined that she wasn't going to take the cowards way out; she had made a decision and she needed to stand by it and truly she wanted to see what these feelings she had for Nick might lead to. She just needed to remember to breathe.

"Are you coming back?" He just wanted to clarify because if not; he was going to climb into his own rig and go after her.

"Yeah...yeah, I am." She smiled as she felt her nerves subside; so what if Sophia Curtis wanted to know about her love life, there was a man on the other end of the line that didn't want to hide from the world that he wanted to be with her.

Nick's sigh of relief was audible. "Good...good, I'm glad." He let out a nervous chuckle. "Feel like swinging by when you get back?" He thought he'd try and focus on why he'd called her in the first place.

"Sure." Sara smiled. Good, he didn't think she was an idiot; or at least he wasn't going to tell her that. Her heart flipped a little that he wanted to see her; yes, these new feelings were going to be good to explore.

"Ok, then...I'll be waiting." Nick's smile was evident in his voice. Yes, his plan was going to be a good idea, especially given the frame of mind Sara seemed to be in. At least he hoped that was the case. "Call me if you need anything, ok?" He just wanted to make sure she got back to Vegas in one piece.

"I will." Sara's smile widened as she considered that for some reason this man that had been her good friend for years cared about her more deeply than that and she couldn't wait to get back and see him.


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's Note:** I've received a couple of reviews that are a bit curious as to where this story is going overall and why I have not yet delved into how some of the other characters have been affected by Sophia's shooting. Please be patient, the overall storyline is still unfolding and while you may think that I'm focusing too much on Grissom, Nick, and Sara, remember that the three of them were the ones who were at the crime scene when Sophia was shot and therefore I believe are much more affected by it than the rest of the team would be. I have briefly touched on the other characters and be assured, there will be more in coming chapters about them, but the relationship dynamic between the three simply presented itself to me as I wrote about Sophia's relationship with Vartan and needed to be explored as well. So with that said, please fasten your seatbelts because there still may be a roller coaster ride ahead with a journey and a destination that perhaps you didn't expect.

**Chapter 22**

Sophia had seen the stricken look on Sara's face as she had asked about her love life; the subject seemed to flow right out of Sophia's explanation of how she and Alex had stumbled their way into a romance and the blond detective had just been curious. She wasn't blind, she'd seen the unresolved tension between Grissom and Sara; it was no secret around the lab that there had either been something between them at some point or perhaps they'd just never gotten around to it. She'd been especially aware of it when she'd first met Grissom because she'd found him rather attractive herself and when it seemed that he was uninterested in the advances she'd made towards him, she began to put the pieces together and came to the conclusion that the man's heart was already taken; even if he didn't want to admit it. She'd also noticed the flirty banter between Sara and hunky Nick Stokes and wondered if maybe the reason Grissom and Sara hadn't gotten around to whatever it was they couldn't seem to admit to each other was because of the handsome Texan. In any case, just asking her if she'd ever considered dating a coworker had caused Sara a sort of deer in the headlights expression to appear on her face just before she said that she needed to be somewhere and made a hasty retreat.

The sound of the door creaking caused Sophia to look up; she half expected to see Alex or maybe even Tina Brown, but she hadn't really expected to see Catherine Willows. Sophia smiled a bit tiredly. From the file Catherine held in her hand, this was obviously an official visit. "Hello, Catherine."

"Sophia." Catherine offered her a kind smile. "It's good to see you awake." This was never a fun part of her job, but it was necessary. IA had asked her to get Sophia's statement; if it was probative they would interview her later when she'd been moved out of the ICU.

"You're here on official business, aren't you?" Sophia really didn't mind; she reasoned that it was better to get all of this over with now and it did give her something do other than stare at the walls or try and work through one of those damned crossword books that Alex said that Grissom had brought by for him to give her. Crosswords were really never her thing, but it was something to do, and she'd managed to get through a couple of the more simple ones.

"Partly." Catherine conceded. "I do need to get your statement..." Her brow furrowed in concern. "How are you feeling?" She couldn't help her maternal instincts from coming out when she was around people who were hurting and Sophia was no exception. She had tended to butt heads with Sophia when she was a CSI, but now that she was a detective she had a great deal of admiration for the woman. And perhaps she didn't feel the need to be nearly as competitive with her either.

"Like hell." Sophia winced as she shifted around in the bed to try and get comfortable. "They keep telling me that they're going to move me out of here, but I have my doubts." There was a hint of a smirk glancing across Sophia's face.

Catherine let out a knowing chuckle. "You sound like Brass did." She arched a brow as if she was going to say something else.

"And he's just fine now, I know." Sophia let out a sigh. "Still, I've never felt quite this bad in my entire life. Not even when I won a Tequila shot challenge in college." Catherine's expression made her laugh softly and then wince.

"I underestimate you." In Catherine's opinion Sophia had never struck her as having a wild bone in her body, but then again people were often surprised by her background.

"Well the suspect didn't." Sophia's confidence had been shattered in the shooting and she truly was afraid that maybe she wasn't going to be fit for duty when her body finally healed. She only hoped that didn't affect her relationship with Alex.

"He was over twice your size and had a rap sheet a mile long." Catherine interjected; she had become far too familiar with just who the shooter was and how much danger Sophia had been in. She'd been working diligently with Warrick and Greg to run down all that they could on the evidence that had been collected. At least one thing was clear to them; the gun the shooter had used on Sophia was the very same one that had killed the original victim.

"It doesn't change the fact that I'm trained to know what's going on around me and I didn't hear him until it was too late." Sophia had resigned herself to being demoted, or reprimanded; something she would truly welcome as she tried to recover from her injuries. One thing she certainly wasn't looking forward to was the mandatory counseling she was sure was on the horizon. She did not want to talk to a department shrink; she really didn't want to talk to a shrink at all, but if it was going to be required, she'd rather choose her own.

Catherine understood all too well what it was like to be attacked by a suspect and just how incredibly scary it was; clearing a scene was a team effort and even in the best of circumstances their jobs were inherently dangerous. "Sophia, training only goes so far..." She had a thoughtful expression on her face as she continued. "I'm sure you weren't being reckless or impulsive...and you responded to the situation the best way you knew how...Sara said you tried to talk him down."

"Shouldn't you get my statement before you decide if I was out of line?" A sort of half smirk played at Sophia's lips. "Just because I'm injured doesn't mean you should be cutting me some slack." She wanted to play by the rules and make sure there was no way anyone could look back and say the investigation wasn't by the book.

Catherine quirked an eyebrow. "Were you being reckless or impulsive? Did you exhibit flagrant disregard for department practices in clearing the crime scene? Did you know the suspect was on location?" She was calling Sophia's bluff.

Sophia shook her head. "No, I tried to be careful and methodical about clearing the scene; Jackson and I kept in constant communication until we were both confident that the scene was safe and secure for CSI to enter the premises. He's a veteran cop; and I didn't make detective by being sloppy." Her face took on a somber expression. "And if I had any idea that the suspect had been on the location, I would never have put anyone else in jeopardy."

Catherine smiled softly. "I've worked with you Sophia; I know it would be inconsistent with your character if you didn't do it by the book." She reached over and took the other woman's hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze. "And thankfully, you're still with us."

Sophia knew that Catherine often could be abrasive, but that was just the result of being a smart woman in a profession dominated by men; her compassion really wasn't all that unexpected. "Thank you."

"Vartan's a lucky man." Catherine really did mean that; she wished that she'd had the kind of luck that Sophia seemed to have had, but instead she seemed to be a magnet for the sort of men that didn't have a problem cheating on you and then trying to make you feel bad about it. She'd often thought that it was a character flaw within herself that was at the root of this but she had absolutely no idea how to go about changing it, and so instead she'd settled for mediocre when it came to relationships. However, given Sophia's recent shooting and the shooting of Jim Brass just a few short months before she began to seriously contemplate her own mortality and wondered if maybe it was time to find out what it was inside of herself that couldn't attract the sort of man that she truly deep down wanted to be with. She shook off her thoughts for the time being and got back to business as she addressed Sophia. "Ok, just a few more questions and we can get this over with."


	23. Chapter 23

Sara smiled as she pulled into Nick's driveway; as much as this whole situation was causing her head to spin a little as she worked through things, she really _did_ want to give this relationship with Nick a try. She only wished that it didn't have the complications of dealing with how she was still feeling about Grissom mixed into it. She wondered to herself as she turned off the ignition and leaned back in the seat for just a moment if Grissom had been willing to go public if things might have turned out differently; but then again, that first kiss from Nick had awakened something deep inside of her she hadn't realized was even there, something that Grissom hadn't been able to touch. But was it enough? Would she find a few months down the road that as much as they'd tried that their relationship might not work either? She growled out loud to herself. "Get a grip, Sidle, you haven't even had an official first date yet and you're already finding all the reasons why something _might_ not work."

She smirked to herself and descended from the vehicle; first and foremost, she and Nick were friends, she couldn't let herself worry about whether a romance between them might ruin that; it simply wasn't Nick's style to discard people like that. She knew for a fact that he was still friends with his high school girlfriend and a couple from college as well; surely if they decided a romance was a big mistake she wouldn't lose his friendship.

The door opened before Sara was even on the porch and a smiling Nick stood there with his shoulder leaning up against the door frame. "Hey, Sar." He was making no apology for taking in her lithe form with his eyes; he had always found her attractive and now that they had agreed to see each other, he saw no reason to hide it from her.

"Hey yourself." Sara could see him checking her out and as she reached him she leaned up and softly kissed him, smiling as she felt him wrap his arms around her and pull her in close. Yes, this was something she could definitely get used to; with Grissom, even in the privacy of her apartment, he'd always insisted that they be inside with the door firmly shut behind them before they gave in to the desire to greet each other with something as simple as a kiss.

Nick rested his forehead against hers as he broke off the kiss. "How was your drive?" It was evident by the look in his eyes that he was asking far more than whether she'd encountered any other trouble on the way back; there was doubt and a hint of fear there that he couldn't quite hide.

Sara smirked at him; they were going to have ride out these bumps of doubt together as they let this relationship unfold between them at its own pace. "Good...I think. I just needed to think." She wasn't sure she should tell him that she'd freaked out when Sophia had asked if she'd ever consider dating a coworker. If she stepped back and looked at the question logically, it was probably completely innocent, especially given that Sophia and Vartan were coworkers.

"Anything you feel like sharing?" He had heard how distracted she'd been on the phone and truthfully it worried him. Somehow he was going to have to find a way to get past his feelings of insecurity and doubt and just trust if she said she wanted to give things ago that she meant it.

Sara furrowed her brow and she let out a soft sigh. "Maybe." She reasoned that they were going to have to talk to figure out exactly what this was and how they were going to conduct themselves; she was fairly certain that making out in the parking lot of the hospital was one thing, but making out anywhere on the premises of the crime lab would probably raise more than a few eyebrows.

The fact that she'd said she wasn't unwilling to talk gave Nick a little hope and he smiled at her, quirking a single eyebrow as he released her from his embrace. "You hungry?" He had eaten shortly after he'd gotten up but that had been several hours ago, before he'd even called Sara and found that she had run out of gas in the middle of the desert.

"I could eat." She smiled back at him and followed him into his house.

"I'm sure you can; I've watched you eat before." Nick teased her; it seemed that whenever the team went to the diner after a shift, which didn't happen as often now as it used to, Sara seemed to manage to snag an extra piece of toast here or a bite of someone's pancakes there in addition to the omelet she always ordered. He and Warrick had been teasing her about it for years.

"Well what are you going to feed me then?" Sara knew that Nick could cook; he'd had a few of them over once in a great while, usually during some major sporting event and he'd surprised them all by putting together a great spread. Apparently his mom had instilled in her boy the need to keep himself from starving and Nick had taken to cooking like a duck to water; when he had time that is.

"Already made it actually." He let out a soft chuckle as she arched her brows at him. He'd planned to surprise her earlier and he had already placed the dish in the oven when he'd called her, nothing a little reheating wouldn't fix. In fact he'd popped the dish back in the oven just a little bit ago and the smells wafting through the kitchen made it clear that it was ready. "A breakfast casserole my Grandma Jean used to make, and before you ask, there isn't any meat. I substituted a few extra vegetables for the sausage she used and if I do say so, it tastes even better."

Sara stood there with her arms crossed over her chest grinning widely as she watched him walk over and pull something magnificent out of the oven. "Well then, I guess we should eat." They would talk too; maybe in a little while. That was one thing she knew for sure about Nick; he wouldn't usually push her to talk about something and maybe it was that quality that made it that much easier for her to open up to him in the first place.

"Alright." Nick grinned back and began to dish up their plates. He glanced over at her where she leaned against the kitchen counter and gestured with his head to the living room. "I picked up a movie that I thought we could watch." The bottom line was he wanted to just spend some time alone with Sara enjoying each others company and if they happened to make out somewhere in the middle of it all, well that was just icing on the cake as far as he was concerned.

"_Terminator_? Oh, wait; you didn't go for _Lethal Weapon 4_ again did you?" Sara knew Nick's penchant for action films and while she enjoyed them too, she really wasn't in the mood for one today; she need to laugh and relax and she was sure that an action film would just get her all worked up.

Nick laughed heartily. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. I actually _can_ watch a movie with a plot once in a while." Truth was he had a rather respectable movie collection that included far more than action films and thrillers and Sara knew it. He handed her a plate of food and a beer, picking up his own, and moving towards the living room.

Sara studied him for a moment as they sank into his couch. "If you're going soft on me and renting a chick flick because you think that's what I want, it's ok if we watch _Terminator_." She really didn't want to watch something overly romantic right then either; it seemed each time she and Nick started kissing, it was difficult to want to stop and a sappy chick flick just might be the thing to push her to take a leap she wasn't quite ready for.

Nick smirked. "Now, Sara, you trust me don't you?" He knew her better than she'd probably admit, and he had no problem going straight to the core of what he felt was the real issue. He knew that she was feeling a bit fragile and he also had known her long enough to know her taste in movies. Hopefully this time he'd hit the nail on the head.

"Yes." Sara laughed as she turned her attention to her food and took a bite. Surprise registered on her face. "This is really good." Not that she doubted that it would taste good, but it truly was very, very good.

"I'm glad you like it." Nick grinned and then leaned in and softly kissed her, cataloguing in his memory how soft her lips felt against his and how eagerly she returned the kiss. It was short, but very sweet.

"I like that too." Sara smiled as they pulled apart and she leaned into Nick's shoulder as he picked up the remote.

"Me too." He smiled as he gazed at her for a long moment and then turned his attention to the movie. "Ok, I thought you'd enjoy this." He handed her the DVD case and smiled as she looked a little perplexed.

"_A Shot In The Dark_?" Sara hadn't recalled seeing this one before.

Nick hit the play button and then slung his arm over her shoulders as he explained. "Second film that Peter Sellers played Inspector Clouseau in; not as popular as the Pink Panther movies, but I think you'll enjoy it...especially the way he so carefully follows the evidence."

The sarcasm in Nick's tone in that last comment wasn't lost on Sara and she laughed. "We'll see about that."

Nick leaned over and kissed the top of Sara's head. "He sort of reminds me of Greg in this one actually."

That comment made Sara giggle. Yes, this was definitely just the sort of movie she needed to see right now; there would be plenty to laugh at and she would thoroughly enjoy picking apart the Inspector's investigative technique.


	24. Chapter 24

Jim Brass could tell that something was weighing heavily on Grissom's mind as he sauntered into the CSI Supervisor's office. "You really should go home once in a while."

Grissom glanced up with pursed lips, arching a single brow. "I could say the same for you." Brass still wasn't quite back to full time status, but he was working just as many hours as he had before regardless of that fact.

Brass took a seat in the chair opposite Grissom's desk. "I know for a fact that your shift is over and you can't be working Sophia's case." His statement was as much of a challenge as making it clear that if Grissom overstepped his bounds he would rein him in; he was too close to the case and he was supposed to be hands off.

Grissom studied his longtime friend for a moment before. "Jim, have you ever made a decision which at the time seemed perfectly logical and only after it's too late to change your mind you realize that you were wrong?" This seemed to have become a habit with him and his romantic interests, Teri, Lady Heather, and now most painfully, Sara.

Brass let out a wizened chuckle. "All the time; story of my life." His expression softened a bit. "Look, Gil, we all make mistakes; and just because you think it's too late doesn't mean that it is." Not that he always adhered to that philosophy, but after he'd been shot, he'd become much more optimistic than he'd been since he found out that his wife was cheating on him with his partner and that his daughter wasn't really his at all. He'd carried around a lot of baggage over the years, but after coming so close to death he realized it was time to put some of that down and start living life so he wouldn't have any regrets.

"But it is too late; she left me." Grissom looked stricken. He clearly believed that there was no chance that even if he did what Sara asked that she would come back to him; he'd seen the way she'd kissed Nick standing there in the middle of the parking lot at Desert Palm, not caring who in the world saw them. He wasn't sure he could give his heart with the wild abandon that she needed.

Brass looked a little confused; the idea that someone had left Grissom implied that he'd been seeing someone and that was a bit difficult to reconcile in his mind since he wasn't aware that Gil had been seeing anyone at all; just dancing around Sara Sidle in eternal avoidance of the issue at hand. "Who left you?"

Grissom felt a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach; if he told Brass that was the first step in admitting that he truly cared for Sara, maybe even enough to give up the career he'd worked so hard for. His words faltered for just a moment. "Sara...she left."

Brass had a deeply furrowed brow; surely his colleague wasn't implying what he thought he was implying. "Sara quit?" He knew that the shooting had been difficult for both Nick and Sara, but he couldn't imagine that she would just quit her job and leave.

Grissom shook his head. "No, she didn't quit..." He looked up and met his friend's eyes. "She left me...we were seeing each other." There was such a sadness around Gil Grissom's eyes and his voice just sounded listless, lacking emotion as if any feeling had been stripped away from him in whatever exchange they'd had.

Brass took a moment before he continued. "You and Sidle." He just wanted to be one hundred percent clear that they were on the same page.

Grissom seemed to have the need to confess as he nodded. "Yes, we didn't want anyone to know, we didn't want to risk our careers...but she changed her mind." The hurt etched across Grissom's face wasn't just from the fact that Sara had left, but from a deep regret that he'd made the most tragic mistake of his life.

"She didn't want to see you anymore?" Brass didn't quite understand it; Sara had spent years throwing herself at Gil; many of them wondered what the hell was wrong with the entomologist that he couldn't take the risk to be with a woman that was a sure bet to be the love of a lifetime for him; he'd even thought about giving the man a swift kick in the ass to get him going.

Grissom pulled off his glasses and rubbed his temples, clearly another migraine was on its way. "No, she wanted to go public and I told her we couldn't." His voice was laced with the anguish of someone who'd lost the thing that was most dear to them.

Brass shook his head in disbelief. "So go public." He didn't really see what the problem was; if that was all that it would take for these two socially awkward criminalists to find happiness together, then he was going to make it his mission to kick Gil's ass in a most profound way and he'd run interference with Ecklie, the Sheriff and anyone else who dared to threaten to terminate either of them. There was a reason that Las Vegas had the number two crime lab in the country, just behind the FBI's lab in DC, and the biggest reason was the team that comprised it.

"It's not that simple." Grissom sounded pained and he let out a deep sigh before replacing his glasses on his face. "She's found someone else." He had really screwed up and he didn't think there was going to be any way to fix it. He couldn't fix things with Teri, and he'd messed things up even more with Heather. But this was even worse; he had truly loved Sara, still loved Sara and the thought of not having her in his life was the worst feeling he'd ever felt.

"Then tell her you want her back." To Brass it seemed obvious; women might be difficult to understand, but one thing he'd learned over the course of his life was that to not even try was even worse than making a fool out of yourself if you really wanted someone. He wished that he'd learned that lesson for himself earlier in life, but it seemed that Grissom hadn't quite grasped the concept yet.

"She's with Nick." Grissom had one of those deer in the headlights expression that clearly showed that he was at a complete loss for what to do.

"Stokes." Brass hadn't expected this one at all; but then again, it made sense on some level, they were friends and they seemed to have a natural flirty banter between them; why shouldn't she go for Nicky; he was a good man.

"Yes." Grissom didn't think he could fix this one; he wasn't sure he wanted to put himself out there and risk his career if she just might choose Nick anyway. Maybe he should just console himself with being her friend; a good colleague. It would never be enough, but maybe it would have to be.


	25. Chapter 25

An exasperated Sophia Curtis glanced up as Alex Vartan entered her room; she'd just been settled into a private room and her mother had just arrived in a whirlwind from her cruise. "Please make her leave the hospital."

Alex had a nervous expression on his face. "She was just worried about you." While that might be true, Sophia and her mother had a sometimes abrasive relationship; they were close, but Nora Curtis seemed to make Sophia feel inadequate about her career without even trying. Vartan knew that Nora didn't do it on purpose, but it could have been nice if she could cut her daughter some slack that not everyone accelerates up the food chain of the police force with the swiftness that she had. Having a mother who was a former police captain were big shoes to try and grow into and it was a point of contention between them and he only guessed that somehow Nora had made a comment to Sophia that making detective just wasn't enough by her age.

"Like hell she was." Sophia was in a foul mood; despite the fact that she was making a remarkable recovery from her injuries her mother's appearance had soured her happiness over it all. While she was somewhat glad that her mother had made the effort to leave her cruise and come back to see her; she would have sworn under oath that her Nora would have preferred that she was at least in a coma when she'd gotten there so she could feel better about the expense of flying back from her cruise early. And then when she'd mentioned that Alex had proposed that's when the shit really hit the fan.

Alex sat down on the bed next to Sophia. "She's your mother." Nothing like stating the obvious and he could tell immediately it was the absolutely wrong thing to say.

"I don't care if she's the mother of the year; sometimes she irritates the hell out of me." Sophia looked up into Vartan's eyes and couldn't help but smile for a moment before her brow furrowed. Her next words seemed to come out in the form of a growl. "She seems to think that I'm going to ruin my career if I marry you."

"What?" His eyebrows shot up in surprise; that did not sound like the Nora Curtis he knew and he wasn't sure if he should take it personally or chalk it up to a mother wanting her daughter to reach the levels of success she had.

Sophia reached for his hand. "She thinks that I'm going to want to start a family right away because of my age and that if I want to make captain I should sacrifice my personal life for my career." By her tone this was obviously not how she felt about the situation and she felt damn fine about what she'd accomplished at her age. Her age be damned, women much older than her started families everyday.

"Hey." Alex furrowed his brows. "This isn't about her; this is about you and me and we haven't even had the chance to talk about kids yet." It wasn't that he didn't think they'd have kids, he just reasoned that was one of those things that would either happen or it wouldn't and getting worked up about one way or another didn't make a whole lot of sense.

"No, we haven't." Her eyes clouded a bit; she really had no idea how he felt about becoming a father someday. Of course she wasn't sure what sort of mother she'd make either, but how dare her mother presume that they needed to start a family right away; she wasn't old, she was only thirty-five. She had other things to worry about than starting a family; like seeing if her body would recover enough to go back to work for one.

Alex leaned in and softly kissed her; he could sense that anything he was going to say was probably going to be the wrong thing at that moment given Sophia's frame of mind. Nothing like easing into the discussion with a well placed kiss or two.

As they pulled away a few moments later, a smirk flitted across Sophia's face. "I think you have an unfair advantage Detective; that kiss of yours takes all the fight out of me." Not that they'd even been fighting, but this man had a calming effect on her like no other man she'd ever been with. She wasn't sure what she'd done to deserve someone like him; but whatever it was she was eternally grateful.

He let out a soft chuckle and leaned in again, savoring the way her lips felt; he was still acutely aware that things might not have turned out like this; she very easily could have died and where would he be then? As he pulled away, an idea formed in his mind. "You know, we haven't gotten very far beyond the proposal..." His words trailed off as his eyes followed Sophia's to the ring on her finger.

"No, we haven't." She glanced up at him; a devilish look in her eyes. "And if I wasn't stuck in this damn bed, I could think of several ways I'd like to yes all over again." The thought that it was going to be a little while before she was going to get the green light to indulge her passion with the man she loved was frustrating.

Alex waggled his brows and leaned in with a husky whisper. "All in due time, babe." The most important thing to him was making sure that Sophia healed completely; he didn't want to have to explain to her doctor that the reason for her return trip to the hospital was because they'd been having crazy wild sex.

Sophia laughed and winced slightly. "I'm _going_ to find a way around it." She let out a sigh and looked into his eyes for a long moment before she spoke. "How _do_ you feel about kids?" She couldn't seem to get the subject out of her mind; kids were a big deal, and while she really liked children, she didn't want to marry Alex and only then find out that he wanted six or seven children; one or two was just fine with her.

He smiled softly at her. "I like kids; and if we have them, I'll love them because they're ours." He felt a wave of relief as she smiled at his words; apparently that was the right answer and thankfully it really was what he felt.

Sophia's smile was misleading though. "_If_ we have them?" She wondered if he really wanted children at all, or if he'd rather be a career minded couple; keep things status quo so to speak. She looked at him expectantly.

Alex let out a soft laugh and leaned in and gave her a quick kiss before giving her a reassuring smile. "There is no one I'd rather have children with than you; but there are no guarantees in life that we'll have them." He let out a thoughtful sigh. "My sister Tracy and her husband tried for a long time and when they couldn't get pregnant, they tried fertility treatments and then tried to adopt." Sadness filled his eyes. "They spent so much time trying to have a baby that they forgot why they got together in the first place. They got divorced a couple of years ago." He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I don't want that to happen to us, Sophia. I think we should just let nature take its course and if we have children we have them, and if we don't then let's focus on what we _do_ have together; not what we don't."

Sophia felt moved by how heart-felt his explanation was and her voice was thick with emotion as she laced her fingers with his. "I love you so much, Alex."


	26. Chapter 26

As the movie credits rolled up the oversized TV screen, Sara couldn't help but smile. She was wrapped up in Nick's arms as they sat on his couch with her head resting against his shoulder and their feet were casually propped up on his coffee table. There was such an ease to being here with him like this that made her feel like it was the most natural and logical thing to do. "You were right Clouseau does remind me of Greg in this one."

Nick's fingers caressed Sara's as he pulled her a little closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Sort of a womanizer wannabe." He chuckled at his own joke and it occurred to him that this relationship with Sara was going to come out and of everyone, he had better the hell be the one to tell Greg and Warrick about it. If either of them found out that he and Sara were seeing each other through the rumor mills at work, he'd catch an earful and probably an ass kicking on top of that.

"Emphasis on wannabe; Greg's got a good heart." Sara had become rather close to Greg when the team had been split up and she'd spent a great deal of time mentoring him in the field. "Some woman is going to be lucky someday to snag him." She truly meant that; while he had flirted shamelessly with her for years when he worked in DNA, after he'd transferred to the field, he had become more serious and had really grown up.

"I'm the lucky one." Nick couldn't help it and he smiled as Sara glanced up at him. "I have you." He leaned in and softly kissed her and she eagerly responded as she turned her body to lean into him more fully. They sat there trading soft slow kisses for quite a while, finally breaking apart to try and breathe a little easier.

Sara unconsciously licked her lips as she looked into his eyes, smiling at the flavor of him that she found on her mouth. "We should probably talk about this." She knew it was going to kill the moment, but it wasn't as if they hadn't already spent about half of the movie making out as it was. She knew that if they let themselves get carried away now without the benefit of something on TV to remind them of roughly how much time had gone by they would never get around to talking about exactly where things were going between them and how they were going to act at work.

Nick's fingers unconsciously stroked Sara's hair. "What is there to talk about?" He hoped that she hadn't suddenly decided that they needed to keep their relationship under wraps; lest he remind her of the demise of her former relationship for the very same reason. He could tell that she was nervous and he smiled softly at her and dipped his head and began to plant kisses against her neck. "I want to be with you; you want to be with me, what else do we need to know?"

Sara resisted the urge to just give in and make out with him again; she needed a few things to be cleared up before she was willing to give herself over to the moment and enjoy being alone with Nick. It had taken her the entire movie to work up the courage to even talk to him about this and she didn't want to be distracted; well too distracted anyway. "How is this going to work at work? We can't do _this_ at work."

Nick grinned as he lifted his head and then leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against her lips before resting his forehead against hers. "So we act the way we've always acted at work; we're professional, we do our jobs, but I don't see any reason why I can't kiss you now and then."

Sara felt her heart skip a beat. "We can't make out, Nick." She wanted to make it abundantly clear that in no way did she want to jeopardize their jobs by acting inappropriately at work, not that there were any rules prohibiting them from dating, per se, but she didn't want to draw unnecessary attention to them that might cause the powers that be to draw up just such a policy.

"We're not at work right now, silly." Nick leaned in and stole another kiss, smiling against her mouth as she responded earnestly for a moment.

Sara pushed him away and scowled. "Nick, I'm serious...I don't want Ecklie to have any reason to fire either one of us...I think we need to set some ground rules." She wasn't sure if that was for her benefit or for his, but she needed to be clear about where things were going.

Nick's expression was more earnest. "Sara, I _am_ serious. I want to be with you; I don't care who in the world knows about it and if I see you in the locker room and one of us is pulling a double, I don't see any reason why I can't kiss you." Before she could protest, he continued. "I'm not talking about making out at work, even though that might be fun, it would be completely inappropriate and I don't want to make waves with Grissom or make anyone else feel uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry I guess I'm just a little scared about how this is going to go over with everyone else." She was still fully aware of the fact that she still had feelings for Grissom that she was going to have to deal with and she was afraid that it was going to end up being a recurring issue for her and Nick. She also wasn't sure what it would do to the group dynamic or if Warrick and Greg would think the two of them were making a huge mistake.

"Well then, we'll just have to deal with it when it comes up." He smiled at her, his fingers reaching up and caressing her face as he leaned in and kissed her again. He was definitely addicted to kissing Sara and as far as he could tell the feeling was very mutual. After a long few minutes they broke apart, both of them quite breathless from the experience and Sara had moved a little closer so that she was nearly on Nick's lap.

"So how is this going to work, outside of work then?" Sara wasn't sure what all of Nick's motives were, she only knew that for now he was attracted to her and that she couldn't seem to help herself when it came to kissing him. She wasn't in this for it to be a fling, but they hadn't exactly established just how serious this seeing each other was. Her intent was that she wanted to date him and only him, but he hadn't clearly articulated what he wanted.

Nick smiled. "Same thing; I want to be with you, and I don't care who the hell knows about it." He could tell that she was feeling unsure and he silently cursed the reputation he garnered for himself in the early years he'd known her; that was far from who he was today.

"So then does that mean we're going to go out now and then...or did you want to stay in?" Her voice sounded sexy without even trying.

"I definitely want to take you out." Nick leaned in and kissed her again, pulling away and softly whispering. "But right now I'd much rather stay in." He wasn't going to push her to take a step she wasn't ready for, but he certainly wanted her to know that he was ready whenever she was.

After quite a few more kisses, Sara pulled away feeling rather drugged by the effect kissing him was having on her ability to think straight. "We should take this slow." She needed to approach this logically; she wanted to be fair to Nick; wanted to be fair to herself. She couldn't just jump right into bed with him when they hadn't even really been dating more than about 24 hours or so, especially since she still had some feelings for Grissom; or could she? Her hormones were trying to convince her that she was more than ready, but her mind was having doubts.

"Slow is good." Nick didn't complain when she leaned in again and kissed him with even more gusto than the last one; the fact that her hands had worked their way underneath the back of his shirt registered about the same time he realized he was doing the same to her.

Sara broke off the kiss to catch her breath a little. "In case slow is faster than I remember...I'm on the pill." Why that little tidbit of information was important right then she wasn't sure and the definition of slow was quickly being rewritten in the back of her mind as she leaned in for yet another mind numbing kiss.

As the phrase 'I'm on the pill' made its way past the lusty haze that had begun to descend on Nick's mind and fully registered, he felt his libido shift into overdrive.


	27. Chapter 27

"So what do we know?" Catherine queried Warrick and Greg as they sat around a conference room table reviewing the evidence in the case they'd taken over when Sophia had been shot. Clearly they would have preferred something a little more open and shut, but it seemed to seldom be the case.

"He certainly was experienced. Ballistics matched the bullet to the bullets used in three other unsolved cases." Warrick pulled out the files from the unsolved cases and showed Catherine and Greg. "The only thing is that his MO was different in each one."

Greg had a furrowed brow. "Could be that the same gun was used by different people in each instance; only this guy was dumb enough to get caught."

Warrick quirked a brow. "I'm not sure dumb is the right word; Sophia's pretty damn lucky to be alive." He'd had some in depth conversations with Tina over the last several days, not only about their relationship that they were trying to get back on track, but about the case and Sophia's condition. He didn't want to worry the rest of the team, but if the bullet had gone even a hair one way or another she would most likely have bled out and died right there in the foyer of that house. He wanted to make for damn certain that they had explored every avenue before they assumed that the shooter had acted alone.

"Greg has a point." Catherine surveyed the files in the unsolved cases. "He could have gotten the gun from any number of places." She glanced up at Warrick and Greg. "Have we traced the serial number?" She had been running down leads and trying to be the go between on the internal investigation of the shooting, which seemed to be moving at a snail's pace, and this was the first time in over 24 hours that she'd had the opportunity to regroup with her team.

"Serial number was filed off; I've got trace trying to raise it to see if we can track down if it was even registered." Warrick didn't sound too hopeful; if someone had taken the time to get rid of the serial number, most of the time they were going to find out that the gun had been stolen some time before. Although, every once in a while, they got lucky when some dumb ass stole his father's gun; didn't take a rocket scientist to connect the dots on that one.

"Well the shooter has several known associates; and Brass indicated that there was a possible connection to Jimmy Collins, but nothing concrete." Catherine continued.

"Casino Jimmy Collins?" Greg looked both surprised and intrigued at the possibility that their homicide had been a hit.

"Don't look so thrilled; we can't prove it at this point and if it's true, we have a bigger issue on our hands." Catherine cautioned him. She didn't want to mention that if they could make that sort of connection they'd better make sure that everything was by the book; she'd learned that the hard way trying to take Sam Braun down for murder. She'd allowed her personal issues to cloud her judgment on a case that had far reaching implications on several other cases and she'd blown it. She was lucky she'd only been suspended.

"Point taken." Greg was eager, maybe too eager at times, but he was also passionate about getting justice for the victim of the original homicide and for Sophia as well. He'd been sent home twice now since he, Warrick, and Catherine had taken the case over with orders to get some sleep. Perhaps Sara's habit of working too much had rubbed off on him while she'd been mentoring him in the field; whatever it had been, it made him want to be seen as a valuable and equal member of the investigation team by everyone else.

Warrick sat back in his chair and surveyed the mound of evidence before them. His thought drifted to his colleagues; he wondered how they were doing and really wished that they could have had their help at this point. "How long until IAB gets around to talking to Nick and Sara?" Grissom had already been interviewed and as long as he stayed hands off the on the case he was able to remain at work. Nick and Sara on the other hand since they both had been involved would probably have to be cleared by the department shrink as well because of the shooting.

Catherine let out a tired smile; she had wondered the same thing. "Hopefully soon. They've been a little backlogged because of that officer involved shooting over in Henderson." Department cutbacks all over the region had caused several police departments to share resources and that included the internal affairs bureau. Since she had already taken a preliminary statement from each of them IAB had been comfortable waiting to interview them until they had cleared up the other case. Of course that had put a larger burden on the rest of the team and despite borrowing someone from Days, things were spread very thin.

"Oh, yeah; wasn't that gang related?" Greg had clearly been watching the news a little too much during his mandatory breaks.

Warrick smirked. "Sanders, that's speculation from the media. You should know better than to come to a conclusion without reviewing the evidence first." The original theory had been that there were possible gang ties in the shooting; but Warrick had also heard that it was a result of underage drinking in the wrong place at the wrong time; as if there was ever a right time and place for that. One of the kids had been dumb enough to take his brother's legally registered gun and flash it around in a public park after dark. A rookie cop on patrol had happened upon the scene and the result had been ugly; Warrick didn't envy their counterparts in Henderson at all.

Catherine nodded and then glanced over at Warrick; she could tell that the stress of the last several days was getting to him. "How is Sophia?" She wondered if there had been any news since she'd been by to interview her.

"She's been moved to a private room." Warrick smiled. "Tina says she's doing good; she may get out sooner than they'd originally thought." As much as Warrick was sad that Sophia had gotten shot; he was thankful beyond belief that it had given him a second chance with Tina and that they'd both realized that the real source of their conflict was pride; they'd both been too proud to be the one that picked up the phone to say sorry and they'd both been too proud to admit that they really did need each other. He was going to find some way to personally thank Sophia and he was sure that Tina would agree.

"How is Tina?" Catherine smiled; she was glad that her friend had begun the process of working things out with his wife. Despite her own feelings that she'd had for Warrick; she was his friend first and she knew the hell that a broken marriage could be and she didn't want that for anyone. If Warrick and Tina could work things out, she'd be right there in the front row of the cheering section.

Warrick couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "She's good. We're good actually." They had told each other that they would take things slow and work on rebuilding trust. That slow thing had gone right out the window the first time they'd gotten together outside of the hospital; Tina had moved back into the house and they'd been making up for lost time. Yes, things were very good between Mr. and Mrs. Warrick Brown these days.

"Way to go, man." Greg grinned at his friend. If a happily married Warrick meant that he and everyone else wouldn't have to deal with grouchy-biting-everyone's-head's-off-Warrick, then he was definitely a fan of them working things out.

Just then, Jim Brass walked in with a conspiratorial smile. "We just got a break; we've got some guy running at the mouth down at the station that our shooter stole his gun and now he wants it back." Without another word, the CSIs got up knowing this was one interrogation they were going to want to listen in on.


	28. Chapter 28

Nick looked at Sara with a rather confused and hurt expression on his face. "I'm _Nick_." They had just been in the middle of what he would have described as one of his top ten make-out sessions of all time and it appeared that it was headed towards perhaps being number one when the unthinkable happened. He had just shared a rather mind numbing kiss with Sara and was coming up for air, his hand having already claimed territory well up the front of Sara's blouse when she moaned out a name.

Only it wasn't his name.

Sara looked at him confused as to what he was talking about for a moment; her body rather keyed up by what his hands were doing when she realized what it was he was referring to. Her eyes widened. "No, it's not what you think." The sound of her cell phone ringing was muffled by the couch cushions where it must have fallen off her belt. "My phone...Grissom's calling." She was silently cursing the custom ring she'd given her former boyfriend and boss.

"Huh?" Nick wasn't sure he was buying her story; his worst fear was that she would be using him to get over Grissom and as much as he truly cared for her, he couldn't deal with that if it was true.

"My damn cell phone is ringing." She let her head fall back on the couch and began to grope around to find it; finally locating it under her butt where the phone was just beginning to work its way between the couch cushions. The fact that Nick hadn't removed his hand from underneath her shirt gave her hope that he believed her.

Nick's brow furrowed as the phone began to chirp indicating that there was a message. Before Sara could flip it open to check the message, he pulled it out of her hand and tossed it onto the floor. "Fuck the damn cell phone." He wasn't sure what pissed him off more; being interrupted or knowing that the caller was Grissom. He was intent on getting right back to where things had been headed; the words 'I'm on the pill' were still running through his mind and she had seemed very open to taking advantage of that factoid.

Sara tried to restrain the smirk flitting across her face with little success. "It might be important, Nick." Technically there were on administrative leave and that meant that if IAB was ready to interview them they could be called back in at anytime; they didn't have the luxury of getting pissed off that work was calling simply because they were getting hot and heavy in the middle of foreplay.

Nick let out a frustrated growl. "Whatever it is can wait." He didn't want to seem impatient, but his libido had been all worked up with the woman he'd dreamed about being with for some time and now that the opportunity was here; he had to be interrupted by Grissom of all people.

Sara reached up and touched his cheek. "You're cute when you're turned on." She leaned up and kissed him chastely; the kiss definitely not as involved as the last kiss. As she pulled away, she arched a single brow. "What if IAB wants us to come in?" It wasn't that she didn't want to get completely carried away with Nick; she did. But they couldn't ignore a phone message if it was related to the investigation.

"What if it's not?" Nick was trying to get his body to line up with his mind; Sara was right, if Grissom was calling because IAB wanted to question them finally, then they had to go in. Unfortunately, his body was fully aware of his proximity to Sara and it was trying to rope his mind right back into where they'd been before the damn phone had rung.

Sara giggled. "Well, I'm pretty sure we can solve the mystery if you let me check the message." She pushed gently on his chest and smirked. A much as she was enjoying this, she had to be the rational one here.

Nick reluctantly extracted himself from the way they'd become tangled up and then sat back on the other end of the couch disappointed that the mood had apparently been broken. A frown appeared on his face as Sara went and retrieved her phone from where it had landed on the floor. "What if he didn't call about IAB?" Perhaps he shouldn't have said that out loud because it caused a frown to flit across Sara's face as she flipped the phone open.

"Nick, he's still our boss." Sara sounded maybe more abrupt than she'd meant to, but she needed him to know that he could trust her. She'd made her choice to break things off with Grissom; she had chosen him and he didn't need to wear his jealousy like a neon sign

"I know that." Nick knew he needed to tread lightly. The last thing he wanted was to completely blow things with her and have her go running back to Grissom; secret relationship or not. He may have garnered a reputation over the years as being popular with the ladies, but it didn't mean that he didn't have moments of insecurity. He really thought that Sara could be it for him and he wasn't sure he could survive if she broke his heart. He was in far deeper than he was willing to admit to her and he really needed to rein in his jealousy.

Sara's expression was stoic as she listened to the message and a few moments later, she flipped the phone shut and looked over at Nick with a smile. "IAB is still backed up with that officer involved shooting in Henderson and Sophia's been moved to a private room and seems to be doing really well. Grissom just thought we should know...he said he figured that I was with you and I could pass the information along." She set her phone down on the coffee table and sank back into the couch sitting close to Nick.

"Oh." Nick looked relieved. "That's good; if she's in a private room that probably means that she's going to go home soon." He was also relieved that Grissom hadn't been calling to try and win Sara back with some announcement that he'd decided to give up his career so they could go public.

Sara reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze as she looked over at him. "Since the moment is kind of ruined, I have a confession to make." She'd been putting off telling him exactly why she'd taken off for an impromptu road trip. She could tell that Nick wasn't feeling terribly secure right then and she'd known him long enough that despite his tough manly exterior that he was sensitive and genuine and tended to wear his heart on his sleeve. "I stopped by to see Sophia before I went for that drive and she said something to me about dating coworkers that freaked me out a little..." She let out a nervous laugh as she saw Nick's eyebrows shoot up. "Ok, maybe it freaked me out a lot." She took a deep breath and continued. "I know that she was talking about her and Alex..." She smiled and continued. "What I'm trying to say is...dating you...and even when I was dating Grissom...it's risky because we work together and maybe part of why I agreed at first to keep things with Grissom a secret was because I was afraid of how everyone would react...but with you, I don't have to hide it and I don't _want_ to hide it, but I'm still scared that everyone else will think we're making a big mistake, that we won't be able to do our jobs."

Nick could appreciate that Sara took pride in her career and that she didn't want to jeopardize it, but when it came to matters of the heart he'd learned a long time ago that in the end following your heart was more important. "Hey, I know it's risky...and I don't know how everyone is going to react either...they'll probably say I'm not good enough for you." He grinned at her as she rolled her eyes and mumbled something about how they could say the same for her. "But it really doesn't matter what they think, Sar. What matters is what you want and what I want."

Sara looked at him thoughtfully. "Yeah, you're right." She smiled softly. "How would you feel if we got out of here for a while?" For her at least, the mood was gone for now and it was clear that today was not going to be their first time together and although she was sure that Nick was probably disappointed, maybe that was a blessing in disguise.

Nick slung his arm over her should and leaned in to kiss her lightly before pulling back with a smile. "I would love to take you out for a while." He knew that she was telling him without so many words that maybe she wasn't quite ready to sleep with him and while his hormones were definitely disappointed, he was more than ready to wait so he could make the moment special for her.


	29. Chapter 29

Brass entered the room unassumingly as he sized up the young suspect. He had gotten the impression that this kid may have been roped into coming down to the station and asking for the missing gun for someone else; he certainly did not expect someone with criminal savvy. Still, you could never underestimate what someone of any age was capable and he put on his game face knowing that the three CSIs were behind the window taking in every nuance of the interrogation. "Well, Billy, it seems you and I have something in common." The grizzled detective placed his hands flat on the table in the center of the room and flashed a smile that looked far friendlier than it actually was.

The suspect looked doubtful. "I don't know what you're talking about." Billy was visually nervous; he'd obviously expected that he could simply walk into the police station and waltz right out with the gun in hand. The fact that it had been used in a homicide and an assault on a police officer didn't even seem to register with him.

"Yeah." Brass leaned across the table and quirked a single brow. "You and me want the same gun; problem is, I'm not sure why you think it's yours." Brass was fishing and he knew it, but he'd gotten information for less and this nervous young man looked like he just might give out enough for them to find out if someone else was behind their shooter.

"It's mine...I need it back." The young man looked scared as hell and certainly wasn't thinking about what was coming out of his mouth.

"Well, we're going to need some proof." Brass smirked and then settled himself in the chair across from Billy. The detective gestured broadly and then crossed his arms over his chest waiting for some sort of answer.

Billy's eyebrows shot up. "How am I supposed to do that?" He clearly was in over his head and he was just beginning to pick up on the fact that he might be in trouble.

"Well for starters, you could give me the serial number?" Brass felt like this was going very well. He just sat back with an expectant smile on his face.

"I can't do that." Billy stammered and then swallowed hard. "It doesn't have a serial number." This kid clearly looked scared and it wasn't just because he was sitting in a police interrogation room.

Brass leaned forward, his friendly smile gone. "Oh, I see...you filed it off before you lent it to your friend Gunther." The widening of Billy's eyes was enough for Brass to confidently continue. "The thing I don't get is what a kid like you has to do with a thug like that." Brass was staring the young man down waiting for him to crack.

"He stole it from me...I don't know anyone named Gunther...if I don't have that gun back, my uncle is going to kill me." Billy broke like a dike.

Brass smirked. "And just who is your uncle?" He knew that they could find out whether Billy confessed or not.

"Frank Sutherland." Billy's eyes were wide and he was obviously scared to death that he'd mentioned his uncle's name.

"Why don't you tell me more about Uncle Frank?" Brass glanced over at the CSIs behind the two-way mirror to indicate that he thought they'd broken the case wide open as Billy continued to spill.

Warrick let out a soft chuckle and shook his head. "Boy, Brass played him like a roulette wheel." He was always amazed at the ease the detective could solicit information out of a suspect.

Catherine smirked. "Well now that we have a little more to go on, I think we'd better get back to the lab and track down whatever we can on Billy's Uncle Frank." They were going to have to see if the evidence tied Frank to their original homicide before they could draw any conclusions about guilt or innocence. Although from where she stood, Catherine was almost certain that they would find a connection, she had a feeling about this one.

"I'll get right on that." Greg was eager to get to the bottom of the case and since he knew that Catherine would most likely ask him to start digging up information anyway, he thought he'd just volunteer instead. Besides, the sooner they wrapped up this case, the sooner he'd be able to go home and actually sleep, something he'd had a great deal of difficulty with since they'd begun the investigation.

"I'll see if we can find any connection to Walter Bradley." Warrick knew that if they could draw a connection to their original victim they would have a much better chance at obtaining a warrant to search Frank Sutherland's house."

"Good." Catherine would wait until Brass had finished up with Billy and then she would see if Warrick or Greg had managed to come up with anything. She heard the two men slip out and she focused back in on the interrogation.

Billy was practically sobbing. "He told me he'd kill me if I didn't get the gun back...and he'd do it too; he's killed guys who worked for him before. Please don't tell him I was here; I don't want to die."

Catherine arched her brows as she watched; this kid could be a very good actor or he could be just as scared as he looked. And at this point she wasn't going to rush to form an opinion. The sound of the door opening caused her to glance over and her eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed. "Gil, what are you doing here?" This was her case and he was supposed to be hands off.

"I was hoping that I could talk to you." There was something about the expression on his face that just seemed off. Or maybe it was the fact that he had sought her out rather than wait until she'd stopped by his office. This was definitely unusual for Grissom.

Catherine pursed her lips together. "And you came down to PD while I was observing an interrogation in a high profile murder investigation?" Clearly the man wasn't thinking clearly.

"It's important; I wouldn't have come down here if it wasn't." Grissom looked like he felt physically ill.

Catherine's immediate thought was that something had happened to his mother. "What is it?" She knew that the interrogation was being videotaped and that she'd most likely review it again anyway, so she focused on her friend.

"It's Sara." Grissom's words faltered.

"Is she ok?" Catherine knew that despite the way he tried to hide it from everyone else that he had feelings for the younger woman.

"Yes, she's fine I think." Grissom took a deep breath and continued. "She's dating Nick." Clearly the expression on his face indicated that this information was on the same level as announcing that the Bay Checkerspot Butterfly was extinct.

Catherine tried to hide her amusement; she knew he was probably heart broken, but in her opinion he had no one to blame but himself. Just how long did he expect her to pine away for him if he was never going to act on his feelings? "Nicky's a good guy, Gil."

"I know that." Grissom took a deep breath; Catherine was one of the few people he trusted and this was difficult for him. "But I'm in love with her."

A small smile tugged at Catherine's mouth as she looked at him with compassion. "Gil, just how long did you think she was going to wait? Maybe if you'd let her know how you felt about her, you might have had a chance with her." In fact she knew that Gil would have gotten that chance if he wasn't so hard headed.

Grissom's face looked pained as he confessed to his longtime friend. "I did tell her...we've been seeing each other for the last few months...but she left me for Nick."

Catherine couldn't have looked more surprised if she tried.


	30. Chapter 30

It had taken a few minutes for the initial shock to wear off, but then Catherine had knit her brows together and crossed her arms over her chest as she regarded her friend. Her tone belied the anger that she felt at him for being so monumentally stupid. "What did you do, Gil? You must have really fucked up if Sara left you." She hadn't even begun to tell him what she thought about the surprise of the whole situation.

Grissom fumbled with his words momentarily; he seemed oblivious to the interrogation going on just on the opposite side of the glass. "She wanted everyone to know about us...I'd be risking my career, Catherine."

"And she wouldn't be risking hers?" Catherine was incredulous. "What kind of an idiot are you? Do you honestly think that everyone was oblivious to the feelings she had for you, or for that matter, the feelings you had for her? Why in the hell did you think that hiding a relationship that almost everyone thought was inevitable was a good thing?" She just stood there and shook her head. Grissom had never been particularly good with people, but this was definitely the most idiotic thing she'd ever seen him do.

"People knew?" Grissom had that deer in the headlights expression on his face. It had never entered his mind that since neither he nor Sara had said anything about it that anyone could have any clue that there was something going on between them.

"Not that you were actually seeing each other, but we all knew you both felt something." Catherine's expression softened. "Gil, you're her supervisor, how did you think that was going to work? I always thought if you finally realized what was right in front of you that you'd step down so there wouldn't be any ethical issues; I'm the one who usually acts first and worries about the consequences later." Catherine had made a string of very bad professional decisions over the last couple of years that could have adversely affected her career had Grissom not intervened. She was definitely grateful to him for that, but there was really nothing she could do to help him in this situation and she was not about to interfere in a relationship between Nick and Sara; especially since the more she thought about it the more she thought they just might be good for each other.

"I thought I could have both." Grissom was realizing that the reasoning behind his decision had brought more hurt upon his life than he could have imagined possible. He wasn't sure there was anything he could do to get Sara back; even if he sacrificed his career it might just be too little too late.

"And you just thought Ecklie would just ignore it if he found out?" She knew there was no way in hell Ecklie would let something like that slide. As it was the man seemed to have it out for Sara, if he caught wind that a romantic relationship had ever existed between she and Grissom while he had been her supervisor, her career would be history.

"I _knew_ what Ecklie would do; that's precisely one of the reasons I told Sara that we had to keep things under wraps." Grissom seemed to be in full confession mode; something that happened very rarely.

"I don't think you love her as much as you think you do." Catherine had seen Grissom act impulsively on rare occasions, and she'd seen him act irrational once in a great while, but she'd never seen him make a sacrifice for a woman and perhaps that was part of his eternal quest for self preservation. There was so much that even she didn't know about the man and she had known him longer than anyone else at the lab, except for maybe Brass. She knew enough to know that he didn't open up to people very much, so it really didn't surprise her that he didn't seem to have clue why his relationship with Sara had fallen apart.

"What?" Grissom's mouth fell open slightly. "Why does everyone think that?" He was sure that he'd never felt quite like this towards any other woman he'd ever been close to. How could this not be love?

"Everyone else?" Catherine quirked her brow at him. "Just who else are you sharing this secret relationship with?" It surprised her that anyone else had actually known about it.

"Nick." Grissom looked pained. "He told me that if I didn't at least try and win her back that I didn't love her as much as I thought I did." He looked up a Catherine with a bewildered expression. "What if I gave up everything for her and she chose him anyway?"

Catherine could hear the hurt oozing out of her friend and she reached over and put a hand on his arm. "There are no guarantees in love; just look at me and Eddie. You don't choose who you love, you just do. If you think that there's a chance she might still love you, you have to decide if it's worth the risk." And she could see Nick being the ultimate gentleman offering Grissom one last chance before he considered Sara his own.

"Sara told me that she still loves me, but she still wants to be with Nick." Grissom didn't understand how you could love someone and want to be with someone else more, unless you loved that person more. He shook his head. "I can't compete with him; I don't even want to compete with him." If he did, it would make the dynamic of the team even more awkward than if his relationship with Sara had been made public and then she'd left him.

"Gil, I don't know what to tell you." She knew there were no easy answers, but she couldn't help but feel that if Grissom and made a point to get a demotion or look for a position outside the lab that there was no question that Sara would never have left him. However, he _hadn't_ done that, he'd put his career first and had made Sara question how much he actually valued her; something that Catherine was sure that Nick would never allow to happen.

"Maybe I should just give up on love." Grissom mulled over his failed relationships over the course of the last several years; he'd put his career before Teri and she'd left in the middle of dinner knowing he was never going to change. He'd done the same to Heather, underestimating that she would have fully cooperated with the investigation if only he'd asked, but he'd slipped right into investigator mode, completely ignoring the human element. And Sara, she knew how he was, she was so much like him, but even she needed to know that she came before his career in the overall scheme of things. He had really blown it and now she was with Nick; and his gut told him that she would probably stay with Nick regardless of whether he asked for a demotion now. It was a case it seemed of too little, too late.

Catherine had to bite back a smile at the absurdity of it all. "Gil, I'm not sure that you can give up on something that you haven't fully given a chance in the first place."


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's Note:** I appreciate the honest feedback from everyone, and I'd just like to say that those of you assuming that you know exactly how this story is going to wrap up, should remember to assume nothing. For those of you who think that I've painted both Nick and Grissom as one dimensional in how they relate to Sara, please be patient because the story is still unfolding. While I realize that GSR is cannon, I do see that keeping the relationship a secret in the long term is going to blow up in their faces and so this aspect of the story is my attempt to explore what might happen if one of them wanted to go public and the other didn't. I don't want to give it all away, but the 'battle for Sara' is far from over, and you still don't know if I might manage yet to kill off one of the characters. So be assured, if I can spin the words the way I see this story going in my mind, you won't see the ending coming. - _Forensicsfan_

* * *

IAB had taken several more days but had finally gotten around to wrapping up their investigation of the officer involved shooting in Henderson. They had been particularly meticulous in their investigation because of the media circus that had ensued because one of the teens who had been shot by the officer was the star quarterback of his high school football team and by all accounts was a good clean cut kid. The investigation into Nick and Sara's role in the shooting of their suspect and the investigation into whether the scene had truly been cleared properly had just begun officially and it would probably be several more days until things were sorted out, the paperwork was filed, and each of them made their mandatory visit to the department shrink to make sure they hadn't suffered any ill effects from the shooting before they could be put back on the schedule; and at the moment they were both taking advantage of the time off. 

"So where are you taking me?" Sara smiled as Nick took her hand as they walked towards his rig. They had gone out a few times over the last week and Sara had been thrilled about being able to walk around in public and not hide the fact that she was seeing someone. She was still far from clear about how she was feeling; she felt a spark with Nick and definitely wanted to explore it more and see where things would go, but she was also still struggling with how she felt about Grissom and couldn't help but wonder if he had been willing to go public if they might still be together. It was difficult to compare the two men because they were so different and they each had strengths that the other didn't.

"I thought I'd keep it a surprise." Nick grinned at her as he opened the door of the truck. "But I hope you'll love it." He felt a surge of nerves, he was trying so hard to impress her tonight in particular and he hoped that she didn't think he was trying too hard. He knew she still had feelings for Grissom; they'd talked about it at length, but she'd assured him that she was trying to put it behind her and she wanted to explore where this beyond friendship relationship between the two of them might go.

Sara smirked at him as he climbed behind the wheel of the truck. "I appreciate the chivalry, Nick, but don't forget I know you." That was her way of telling him that he might just want to tone it down a notch. One of the things that she'd always like about Nick as a person was the fact that there was an ease and comfort in spending time with him and talking. Neither one of them had to try very hard to form a genuine friendship over the years, but it seemed that stepping into romance was something that they were fumbling their way through. Nick had confessed to her a couple of days before that he'd never dated someone that he'd been friends with first and it scared him a lot. It was that little tidbit of information that had helped her to realize that he was feeling the same way she was and with it out in the open, somehow it was a little bit easier fumbling through it together.

"And I'm a southern gentleman to the core." He glanced over at her with a wide grin, letting out a hearty laugh as she rolled her eyes at him. He knew they'd be going back to work in a day or two and he wanted to make a memorable evening for her; for both of them actually.

Sara tried to hide her smile. "Charmer is more like it." She wasn't complaining; it was nice to be treated like a lady, something that Nick did for any woman really, but it was still nice to know that he was going out of his way to make her feel wanted.

"Works every time." Nick winked at her.

"I bet you say that to all of your girlfriends." Sara couldn't resist teasing him back; she knew that his charm had fallen flat on more than a few occasions on ladies he'd been interested in over the course of the years they'd known each other. She reasoned that it was their loss and her gain. Nick might try to be charming, but his real charm was the fact that he was genuine and he sort of wore his heart on his sleeve.

"Nah, just the really sexy ones." He arched his brows at her suggestively, smiling at the pink hue that colored her cheeks. He really didn't understand why she didn't get how beautiful she was. Half the guys in the lab practically fell over themselves trying to impress her when she'd first come to Vegas and even the Bugman himself had finally seen how irresistible she was. But Sara was with him now and he didn't want to really think about the possibility that Grissom might still try and win her back.

As they headed out of the main part of town, Sara wondered where exactly they were going, but try as she might, Nick wouldn't let her in on the secret. But as they pulled into the Red Rock Casino Resort she had a pretty good idea where they were going. She'd heard that one of her favorite bands was playing in one of the lounges of the hotel and while she hadn't mentioned it to Nick, he knew her taste in music from many, many drives they'd taken in department issued vehicles.

They were seated at a table in Casa Mexican Restaurant near the window overlooking the red rock hills and they'd just put their order in. The view was amazing and Nick just couldn't seem to keep the secret to himself any longer. "After dinner, I have a surprise for you." He looked like a little boy who had just gotten his first puppy.

Sara smirked. "Any chance it might be tickets to see Dave Matthews?"

Nick flashed her a sheepish smile. "I suppose his name on the marquee outside was a dead giveaway." That and the fact that she knew that he knew she loved the band.

Sara leaned over and softly kissed him, pulling away with a smile. "Thank you."

Nick pulled her in for another soft kiss and smiled at her as he pulled away. "So I was thinking if we get in there a little early, I have a buddy who might be able to get us backstage to meet the band." Nick had one brow arched and he was smiling conspiratorially.

"Wouldn't that be kind of distracting for them right before the concert?" She truly wouldn't mind meeting Dave Matthews and his band, but maybe afterwards when she had something more to say that 'I have every CD you've ever recorded'. She smiled at Nick. "Thanks for doing this...you must have had to really work some connections to get the tickets." The concert had been sold out for weeks and they'd only been seeing each other a little more than a week; she reasoned that they probably had cost him a fortune.

Nick shrugged. "I actually bought them a while ago...I knew you liked them and I was planning on asking you to go anyway...before we started dating." He'd been looking for an opportunity long before that first kiss to let Sara know how he felt about her, and he'd really intended that even if they'd gone to that concert as friends that he would have used that as a vehicle to tell her. Now instead, he was hoping that it might just be the vehicle for them to see the inside of the hotel room with the view of the red rock hills that he'd reserved. He wasn't going to even mention it to Sara until she made it clear that she'd be open to it. They'd already come close several times, but the moment or the timing just never seemed right. Nick was hoping that the atmosphere up here at Red Rock would be the thing that would help them take that next step in their relationship.

"That's sweet." Sara looked genuinely surprised. He had always been a good friend and she loved the fact that he would have done something like that for her just because he knew she would enjoy it.

Nick looked at her appreciatively, reaching over and trailing his fingers down her cheek before leaning in and softly kissing her. He whispered as he pulled away. "You're sweet."


	32. Chapter 32

Grissom had been mulling over Catherine's words for days now. He wasn't sure what to do about what he was feeling; he had work to do and perhaps since Sara wasn't at work, it was just that much easier to not deal with the situation. However, this past week was probably the loneliest week he'd had in recent memory. There was a time in his life when he hadn't really noticed how lonely he was; he had a career that he lived and breathed; with only a handful of forensic entomologists in the country he was at the top of his field and he'd written many white papers and given professional presentations over the years and he'd even contributed to a few textbooks; but none of that it seemed really compared to having found the love of a woman like Sara only to lose her because he hadn't been able to see what was really important until it was too late.

He had felt like he was on the verge of having a migraine for days now and he knew that the only way it was going to go away was to do the one thing that he thought he never could. If the only way to get Sara back was to ask for a demotion or to leave the lab altogether and look for a teaching position in the area, then maybe he should seriously consider it. He knew that there were no guarantees that she would leave Nick and come back to him; but he had come to the realization that if he didn't at least try, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

Only he wasn't exactly sure what the first step should be. He didn't want to march right down to Ecklie's office and ask for a demotion and explain that it was because he was in love with Sara; Ecklie might just fire both of them. Ecklie had made it clear to Gil on several occasions that Sara had a job at the lab solely because of Grissom. Ecklie claimed that Sara was a loose cannon with a gun, but Grissom knew otherwise; he had come to know things about Sara that he'd never even imagined when he'd first met her so many years ago. He had nothing but respect and admiration for someone who had gone though the personal hell she had and manage to carve out a life as a brilliant criminalist who didn't really quite grasp just how special she was.

If he was even going to have a chance at winning her back, he needed to plan this carefully; he didn't want to completely sabotage his entire career, but he did want to make it clear to her that he no longer wanted to hide in the shadows and live his true life in secret. What did it really matter if he knew that mosquitoes had 47 teeth or that dragonflies had six legs but couldn't walk? Without the love of a woman like Sara in his life, he felt like part of him was missing; he wanted to be the man that Sara needed him to be.

Then there was Nick to consider. Grissom held a fondness for Nick that was as close to fatherly as he supposed he could be. He had watched the younger man grow from an insecure rookie criminalist into a more seasoned veteran that had endured some of his own personal hell on the job. Deep down he knew that Nick loved Sara too even if he had refused to admit it when he'd confronted him. He didn't want to march right up and steal Sara back under his nose. Nick had been honest with him and he deserved the same courtesy. He was going to make it clear that while he respected Nick and he knew that he and Sara were seeing each other, he was going to do something to show Sara that he still wanted her to be a part of his life outside of work; that he wanted the little haven of solitude that they'd carved out together back. Ultimately, Sara was going to have to choose, and he only hoped that this time, she didn't choose Nick.

A soft tap at his office door broke him out of his reverie as a smiling Catherine Willows rested her shoulder against the frame. "You look like you're in deep." She could tell from years of working with him that something had grabbed a hold of him and wouldn't let him go. She'd seen this look on particularly troubling cases and she'd more than once had to remind Grissom to eat and sleep. Only she didn't think that it was a case he was thinking about.

Grissom let out a tired sigh and gestured towards the chair on the other side of his desk. "Yes, _too_ deep I think." He trusted Catherine more than he trusted most people; there wasn't much he didn't feel comfortable telling her, even if most of the time he kept it to himself.

Catherine settled herself easily in the chair and looked at him with concern. "You're still thinking about Sara, aren't you?" She worried about him; she'd always known him to do things by the book except when the people on his team were concerned, but although he'd not fired Warrick when he should have, and he didn't reprimand her for using the DNA lab to verify a hunch that Sam Braun was her father and as a result completely compromising the case against him, those were all professional decisions. This decision he'd made to date Sara was a completely personal one that held serious professional consequences. She was sure she hadn't ever seen Grissom in love with someone enough to do something as stupid as to keep it a secret rather than risk his career.

"I can't stop thinking about her Cath." Grissom's brow was furrowed for a moment and then he looked up at Catherine with an expression that was full of resolve. "And I can't just sit here and do nothing about it." He let out a deep breath as he continued. "I've decided that if I need to leave the lab to let her know how serious I am about her, then I will. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do yet." He had a bit of a boyish half smirk as Catherine's jaw seemed to drop.

"Leave the lab." Catherine wasn't sure she was hearing him correctly; the lab was his life and if he left what else would he have, especially if Sara didn't leave Nick and come back to him.

"Or not." Grissom took his glasses off and rubbed his temples. "I don't know." He replaced the glasses and leaned back in his chair. "I've never felt for a woman what I feel for her. I'm not so sure that my career is enough anymore if it means losing what we had." He would manage of course, but he didn't really want to. Whatever he did, he didn't want to risk _her_ career; his own was one thing, but hers was something else entirely. He would not let his insistence about this damn secret relationship become the reason that she lost her job when it became public.

Catherine studied him for a moment. "So what are you going to do, march down and tell Conrad that you've been dating Sara?" She knew that was career suicide for both him and Sara.

Grissom sighed. "Technically, Sara's dating Nick, not me. And I need to leave Conrad out of this if I can." He wasn't really sure that was possible; for him to ask for a demotion, he'd have to go to Ecklie to request it, unless of course he went directly to the lab director instead. Ecklie reported to him and the Sheriff, and once they approved something, he couldn't argue about it.

"If you leave, Ecklie may just split us all up again, you do realize that don't you?" Catherine didn't want him making any hasty decisions; she was sure that if Gil really wanted to be with Sara, there was a way to make it happen that wouldn't pull everyone apart again.

"Catherine, I don't want to split up the team." Grissom sounded so conflicted. "But I can't just sit here and let the best thing that's ever happened to me slip away because I was too much of a coward to do anything about it." He had waited long enough as it was before he'd decided that he had to at least try a relationship with Sara; and now that he'd had a taste of what a relationship with her was like he wasn't going to give up without a fight.


	33. Chapter 33

"So how did you arrange all of this Detective Curtis?" Alex Vartan was impressed. Here Sophia was recovering from her injuries and she'd managed to get real food and candlelight, albeit artificial candlelight, into her hospital room for a romantic dinner. He was currently rather cozy, nestled next to Sophia on her bed.

"Well I had some connections." Sophia smirked rather coyly, leaning her head to rest against his shoulder. It had all been Tina Brown; she'd stopped by to see how Sophia was doing in her private room and they'd spent a little time talking. Sophia had told her how frustrated she felt just laying around waiting until she could be discharged and how much she just wanted to be home with Alex, especially now that they were engaged. Tina had gotten a look and then had told Sophia that she was going to arrange for a little engagement gift from her and Warrick to congratulate them, but also to thank them for giving her and Warrick the opportunity to talk to each other again and give them another chance.

"Hmm, well we'll have to make a point to thank your connections." Alex knew that whoever had done this had really gone above and beyond. Food like this had definitely not come from the hospital cafeteria. In fact he could have sworn that he'd had a meal very similar to this when he and Sophia had first started seeing each other.

"Yes, we will." Sophia leaned up and kissed Alex; now that she was in a private room, she wasn't entangled with wires and monitors and despite the fact that she'd been specifically told that she needed to not exert herself for several more weeks, when Alex eagerly responded to the kiss, she easily let herself go for quite a few minutes.

Alex was so thankful to have Sophia in his arms that he found himself forgetting exactly where they were; he whispered huskily. "Sophia, I want you so bad."

Sophia smirked at him, feeling a little breathless as she gently reached up and put her finger against his lips. "I'm pretty sure that groping the patient is against doctor's orders." She was so looking forward to being out of the hospital and really letting themselves go; it wasn't that she didn't want him as much as he wanted her, it was just that anyone could walk in anytime and she was fairly certain that Alex would be barred from the hospital if she let him do what he'd suggested more than a few times since she'd been in the hospital.

"What if I _like_ groping _this_ patient?" He had a wild smirk on his face as he leaned in and softly kissed her again, his fingers reaching up to caress her cheek. He smiled against her mouth as he pulled away. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

Sophia laughed. "You're more of a sap than I am." It was true and surprisingly so. He really had proven to be quite the romantic over the course of their relationship and she knew that no matter how tempted she was to suggest that they go down to one of the wedding chapels on the Strip to tie the knot that he would insist on something more romantic and maybe even more traditional. She just didn't want to drag out planning a wedding for months on end. On their best day, she and her mother got along wonderfully, but ever since her cruise had been interrupted because of Sophia's shooting, her mother had been more than a little difficult. Sophia wondered if it was because there was absolutely nothing her mother could do and as a former police captain that was a difficult spot to be in.

"Maybe I _am_ a sap as you put it, but you love me for it." Alex had been doing some thinking; maybe it was time to take a little break from police work and see a little bit of the world that he felt compelled to serve and protect. Bora Bora sounded like a great destination for a honeymoon and he was working up his courage to talk to Sophia about just when she might want to get married. He knew from having two sisters that planning a wedding took time, but Sophia was no ordinary woman and he was sure that she would be put out with too much lace and taffeta and way too many guests.

"Yes, I do love you." She smiled at him and then glanced down at her ring and the lifted up a little higher for a closer inspection. "How did you know what size ring I wore?" She didn't really wear much jewelry besides simple stud earrings and maybe a necklace now and then, so there weren't any rings lying around her house for him to get her size.

"Lucky guess." He let out a soft chuckle and took her hand in his and laced their fingers together, smiling as Sophia looked up at him. "You know, we haven't really talked about what kind of wedding we want since I asked you to marry me."

Sophia couldn't help the amused laugh that came tumbling out. "I guess our minds are running along the same lines." She snuggled a little closer to him. "We could elope. Just not here." She had been thinking about tropical beaches and maybe one of those hotels that had a hut out over the water and then long days lying in the sun in the skimpiest bathing suit possible followed by long nights of languishing in bed with Alex.

"You don't want to have a few guests?" Alex couldn't think of too many places other than Vegas that were as easy to get married. Maybe he could talk her into something simple, a few guests and then a tropical honeymoon with absolutely no thoughts at all about work while they were gone.

"I don't know." She let out a soft sigh. "I just don't want to draw things out; I'd like to still be speaking to my mother by the time you and I say 'I do'. And I really don't see the need for bridesmaids or a bouquet toss or any of that other crap that no one has any idea what the hell it's for anymore." She would be content if maybe they had a few friends and some simple vows shared in a beautiful place. As long as she was married to Alex at the end of it all, she really didn't care.

"I think that sounds wonderful." He kissed her forehead. "How about when you get out of here, we spend a little time checking out our options and while we're doing that we can get reacquainted." His lips captured hers again in a very sensual kiss and he let his fingers trail down her arm until he found the large gaping arm hole of the hospital gown and slipped his hand inside, moving it over her shoulder and down her back.

Sophia whispered as he began kissing her neck. "We really shouldn't be doing this here." She didn't sound very convincing; making out with her fiancé sounded like absolute heaven to her right then and she found her fingers toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He continued planting kisses against her neck. "I think they'd completely understand." Alex reasoned that if someone had gone to all of the trouble to bring in a nice dinner and create a romantic atmosphere in a sterile hospital room that it was a pretty good bet that they'd also found a way for the couple to be alone for a while; and even if he was wrong, it was a bet he was more than willing to take.


	34. Chapter 34

The Rock Lounge was packed and Nick and Sara had managed to grab a small booth before the concert started. He'd managed to get them backstage and meet the band earlier and Sara had even had their latest CD autographed. Now though, they were settled in a cozy booth with a great view of the stage while other concert goers either found a seat or made their way to the dance floor.

As the concert progressed Sara found herself leaning into Nick, enjoying the feel of his arm surrounding her. The mixture of the music, the atmosphere of the Rock Lounge and just how close Nick was caused her to think about how attractive she found him; how attractive she'd always found him. In spite of the fact that she was still struggling with her feelings for another man, she didn't want to be anywhere else but right there. She angled her face so that her lips almost brushed against his ear. "Thank you for bringing me tonight; I'm having a really good time." Nick seemed to pull her a little closer in response.

Nick's voice had an almost husky quality to it as he brushed his own lips against her cheek before speaking. "I'm glad." He couldn't resist and he pulled back a little so he could give her a long soft kiss. The atmosphere in the club just seemed to charge the air with electricity and he couldn't help but hope that Sara was feeling it too. He was sure that he would never get tired of getting to kiss her and it seemed that each time, he felt compelled to memorize how soft her lips felt against his.

As they broke off the kiss, Sara leaned in for another, smiling as she finally pulled away and rested her head against Nick's shoulder as the band began another song. She watched as couples moved to the music on the dance floor and she wondered whether Nick would want to go out there too, but sitting here with him like this was nice. Maybe another night she might be inclined to join those who were out dancing, but for now she was content to sit in a cozy booth with Nick and allow the darkness of the club to envelope them as they enjoyed the nearness of each others bodies. The thought occurred to her that maybe tonight their timing would be right and there wouldn't be a phone to interrupt or some other foible conspiring against the two of them finally being together. She had to admit that if his mind numbing kiss was any indication, then she was more than curious about what it would be like being in bed with Nick.

Nick's fingers trailed up and down Sara's arm, her skin whisper soft under his touch. He hadn't recalled seeing her in this particular outfit before, but the low slung slacks and the camisole styled top accentuated her figure in ways he'd only dreamed about, and it offered him a rather lovely view of the soft curve of her breast; something he was rather appreciative of. He wondered to himself how she would feel if she knew he'd taken the liberty of reserving them a room in the hotel. He had to remind himself that he was just thinking ahead; being prepared. Rooms here were not cheap and with a concert like this, any available rooms were probably snatched up early on, he just wanted to ensure a good room rate for a special night. Sara was certainly worth spending a hell of a lot more on a room, but being a CSI was definitely not a bank roll job, something he was sure Sara would understand if she could get past the fact that he'd been presumptuous enough to reserve a room.

As much as Sara was enjoying listening to Dave Matthews, she was very conscious of Nick's breathing as she leaned against him and how good his fingers felt against her arm. She wondered what he would think of her if she suggested that maybe they should get a room; she didn't want him thinking that she moved this fast normally. She just reasoned that she'd known him for a long time and this was just a natural progression, especially given that they'd already come very close to crossing over that line. She was afraid that if they didn't get a room and left here and went back to her place that the mood would be broken; something that had happened several times too many already and she certainly didn't want to happen again. She wondered if there was a way to get him to suggest the idea, but then she reasoned that Nick was a gentleman; she knew he definitely wanted to sleep with her, but he wasn't going to be a presumptuous prick about it. She was going to have to find a way to let him know that she didn't want the evening to end with the concert.

It seemed to Nick that the concert was nearly over and he hadn't found a way to bring up the idea of getting a room; in fact he wasn't sure if she _did_ think it was a good idea how in the world it wasn't going to be obvious that he'd reserved it ahead of time; that in and of itself could be a mood killer.

The band began to play one of Sara's favorite songs and she softly began to sing along. This seemed like the perfect evening; the dinner, the concert, and just being here with Nick; now if only she could let him know that she didn't want to just go home.

Nick could hear Sara softly singing along and he couldn't help but lean over and kiss her cheek. He smiled as he felt her hand coming to rest on his thigh, her fingers slowly playing at the fabric of his trousers. She looked like she was having a great time and he was so glad that he'd bought those tickets when he'd first heard about the concert a couple of months ago; that little leap of faith had led to that impulsive first kiss and he knew that if he'd found out that she was seeing Grissom before he'd kissed her that he never would have tried to in the first place and he probably would have just given her the tickets rather than take her to the concert like he'd planned. How wondrous it was that things had turned out this way. There was definitely something to be said for that impulsive first kiss. He leaned in and nuzzled her ear with his lips. "I love your voice."

Sara felt herself blushing and was glad that the club was darkened; Nick moved his lips to her neck and she felt her eyes flutter shut at the delicious sensation. Yes, she definitely wanted Nick Stokes in the worst way and she began to slide her hand up his thigh in slow circles hoping that he would understand what she was telling him.

Nick felt emboldened by Sara's response as he continued kissing her neck; as he finally pulled away she looked up at him, and he leaned back in and captured her lips in a slow sensuous kiss.

Sara let herself get carried away by the kiss; eagerly deepening it and letting out a soft moan as she felt Nick's hand come to rest on her hip; his fingers splaying out just above the waist of her slacks, slipping under the hem of her blouse and softly caressing her skin. It was a good few minutes before they broke off the kiss, both of them breathing heavily and just as they were about ready to lean in for another kiss it seemed that the concert was over. Sara stared at Nick; his eyes just as dark with desire as hers. The words were out before she could stop them. "Maybe we should get a room."

Nick couldn't help but grin at her and reached over to trail his fingers down her cheek before leaning in and mumbling against her lips. "You read my mind, darlin'." Yes, this was going to be a very good night.


	35. Chapter 35

If Sara noticed that Nick already had a room reserved she didn't say anything about it. She was tightly gripping his hand and trying to fight back the smile that was threatening to spill out all over her face as she watched his expression; Nick seemed nervous somehow as he waited for the desk clerk to check them in. For some reason Sara found it endearing that he was nervous about their first time together and that made her feel less nervous about the whole thing. For the first time she allowed herself to look around at the lobby of the hotel and she realized that this hotel room they were getting couldn't be cheap and for some reason that made her want Nick that much more; he hadn't even hesitated about whatever the cost was, he just did it because he wanted to be with her. She felt as if her smile was the most obvious thing in the entire lobby and a hint of pink infused her cheeks.

As Nick turned around with the room key in hand, he noticed her smiling and he couldn't help but smile back. She looked beautiful and the way she was looking at him he was sure that it was for him and for no one else. He was unbearably excited about what the rest of the night held for them. "Got a key." His grin widened as her smile did and he squeezed her hand as they made their way over towards the bay of elevators.

Sara smirked as a realization hit her and she was thankful that no one else got on the elevator just then. "You do realize that the fact we don't have any luggage is pretty obvious don't you?"

Nick smirked back, but there was a hint of apprehension in his eyes. "Is that a problem?" There was a part of him that was doubtful, that maybe she really wasn't ready for this, that maybe she really didn't want him as much as he wanted her and that maybe she really wished that he were Grissom.

"Not a problem at all." Sara smiled seductively as the elevator door slid shut and she quickly leaned over and kissed him, sliding her arms up his chest and around his neck. She wanted him to know that she wanted this; she didn't want any interruptions, no mood spoilers; plain and simple she wanted him, all night long.

Nick eagerly returned the kiss and found the feel of her in his arms tremendously exciting. As much as he love kissing her, the anticipation of getting to make love to her was making him impatient; wishing that the elevator would just get there already. He had been with probably too many women in his life, but it had been a while since he'd been with anyone; let alone anyone he cared about as much as he cared about Sara. He only hoped that he didn't disappoint her.

The elevator dinged to announce their floor and it took them a moment to pull apart from the kiss grinning like idiots before they realized they needed to get out. Sara strode out of the elevator purposefully, sure that if she looked at Nick she would kiss him again and they might never get to their room. "Uh, which room?"

Nick simply took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze, tilting his head to the side as a boyish smile played out over his lips. "This way, darlin'." His drawl was a little thicker than normal and he felt extraordinarily proud just to be walking down the hallway of a hotel simply because Sara was with him; because she wanted to be with him.

The walk to their room felt like an eternity to Sara given the carnal thoughts that had started downstairs in the Rock Lounge and had just kept building. As they paused by the door, Sara leaned against the doorframe, smirking as Nick nervously tried to work the key card with no success. She yanked it out of his hand after the third try. "Here, let me do that." And in a flash she had the door open.

Nick let out a soft chuckle, trying to swallow his grin at how eager she seemed to be.

Sara arched a single brow at him. "Are you going to stand there all night, or did you want to go inside?" In the next instant, Nick's lips were on hers and they were standing there making out in the hallway. It took quite a few minutes and the sound of footsteps walking by for them to finally break apart feeling a little breathless.

"Maybe we should take this inside." Nick's drawl was husky and full of raw desire. He propelled Sara into the room and pushed the door shut with his foot. Neither one of them was particularly interested in admiring the view of the red rock hills outside the window, or the flat screen TV adorning the wall opposite the bed; they weren't even really paying attention to the luxury linens on the bed as they slowly inched towards it tangled up in each others arms and kissing madly.

The back of Sara's knees hit the bed and she broke the kiss off with a soft laugh, looking up into Nick's eyes with a smirk. "Before this gets awkward...we should probably take our shoes off...and your socks...I am not having sex with you if you're wearing socks." Nerves swirled in the pit of her stomach at the reality of what was about to happen.

Nick sensed that she was as nervous as he was and he let out a chuckle before he eagerly chucked his shoes and then peeled off his socks as Sara kicked off her sandals before she scooted back onto the bed. Her brows shot up as Nick decided to rid himself of his shirt as well before he crawled onto the bed next to her. His voice was a husky whisper. "That better?"

Sara looked at his bare chest appreciatively, letting her fingers reach out and trail down his well defined muscles. "Much." Her eyes connected with his and she smiled seductively. "I really want you." She felt his hand come to rest on her hip, slipping underneath the hem of her blouse and splaying out across her skin.

"You are so beautiful." Nick leaned in and softly kissed her, taking time to savor the feel of her lips against his and the way her hands were trailing over his chest. Their kiss slowly deepened, each of them letting themselves get lost in the kiss and lost in each other.

A short time later, Sara's blouse had found its way to the floor, leaving her clad in a lacy pushup bra and Nick was busy trailing kisses across her neck as he worked deftly to try and unfasten her slacks. The delicious sensations coursing through her body felt so wonderful and yet she was becoming impatient at how slow Nick seemed to want to take things. She let out a soft moan as his hand slid up and enveloped her right breast with his hand, slowly massaging it through the lace and giving Sara a sort of exquisite torture at the friction it was causing against her nipple. "Nicky."

The amount of clothing they were both still wearing was beginning to serve as a frustrating distraction to Nick. He wanted nothing more than to pull Sara flush against him and feel nothing but skin, but to get there he'd have to let go of her long enough to get his pants off and help her out of the rest of her clothes. He wasn't sure he was going to have the patience for it. As he tried to get his mind to focus on finding the clasp on her bra, he felt the distinct sensation of a hand sliding down the front of his pants and fingers gently wrapping around his quickly hardening manhood. It was only then that he realized that Sara had managed to unfasten his slacks without him noticing and he let out a guttural growl. "Sara I want you so bad."

Sara leaned in and kissed him, mumbling against his lips. "Take me."

It was quite a while later before either one of them were cognizant enough to notice the view outside the window; the moon and stars giving off enough light to outline the ridge of red rock that the area was named for. By then they were spooned together underneath the comforter and feeling content to just lay there and listen to each other breathe until they both finally drifted off to sleep.


	36. Chapter 36

"So I hear you're getting out today." Jim Brass had a genuine smile on his face as he perched in the chair next to Sophia's bed. He had stopped by a few times while she'd been in the hospital, but he'd never really had a chance to talk with her alone and he had a feeling that they now shared a sort of kindred spirit and that maybe she needed to talk to someone who really understood what she had gone through.

"That's what they tell me, but I'll believe it when I see it." A decidedly smirky smile graced her features and she let out a sigh. "Of course from what I've gathered from a few of the residents that refer to me as the gun shot wound, I could very well have still been in the ICU for a while longer. I guess I should be thankful that I'm lucky."

Brass leaned in a bit conspiratorially. "No luck about it; seems to me that maybe someone upstairs was looking out for both of us." He wasn't a particularly spiritual man; he was far too cynical to buy into organized religion really, but he couldn't discount that he really should be dead, and Sophia really should be too. He had no other explanation than maybe there really was something out there that had its fingers in how the universe spun.

Sophia let out a soft chuckle. "You may be right." She had definitely been giving a lot more thought about her own mortality and what direction her life was headed. She had always assumed, even with the dangers of the job, that she would live a long full life, retire from the force and then annoy her daughter the way her own mother annoyed her at times. Of course, things change in a flash and she hadn't gotten around to having children yet; in fact if it hadn't been for the shooting she wondered just how long it would have taken her and Alex to go public about their relationship and if they would even be engaged right now. Perhaps fate had dealt her a second chance at a real life; the one she'd always dreamed of and who was she to thumb her nose at that?

"I know I'm right." Brass let out a soft sigh and reached over and grabbed her hand in an uncharacteristically affectionate gesture. "I don't know how much they told you, Sophia..." As her eyes snapped to his, he offered a reassuring smile before continuing. "They lost you a couple of times on the operating room table...I don't even know what Alex knows to tell you the truth, but I thought you should know that you beat the odds and in Vegas that doesn't happen a hell of a lot."

It took Sophia a moment to absorb what Brass had said; she had a vague recollection that someone had told her something about surgery, but while she was in the ICU she had been pretty out of it. She squeezed Brass' hand. "You beat the odds too, Jim." She had worried about him when he'd been the one in the bed. She counted him as a true friend and that was something you didn't find everyday; and the fact that they'd shared a very similar personal hell tied them together in a way that anyone who hadn't lived through it couldn't understand.

"Yeah, I did." Brass didn't get sentimental too often, but he'd softened quite a bit since his own experience and somehow he knew that Sophia would appreciate him being real with her about it rather than sitting and talking about trivial things to pass the time. "I really didn't think I was gonna make it."

Sophia's eyes widened just a bit and she nodded in relief that she was normal for having felt the same way. "And what did the department shrink have to say about that...I think that's the part I'm dreading the most, having to talk to someone about this who doesn't have a fucking clue what it feels like to think that you're going to die and that you haven't even really started living the life you always thought you'd get around to."

Brass just nodded, he knew that this conversation would be far better therapy for her than to talk to any shrink that was really just interested in whether you represented any danger to yourself or the department if you had a gun pulled on you again. "Well someone thought you needed a second chance to live that life, Soph." His tone was soft, these were the same thoughts that he'd had and part of the reason that lately he'd allowed himself to really contemplate what life after death held.

Sophia looked at him for a long moment with a furrowed brow. "How long did it take your nightmares to go away?" She hadn't really told anyone about them, although she was sure that Alex would discover it soon enough. She truly hoped that they would fade because if it weren't for the pain medication she was taking she wouldn't be getting much sleep.

Brass raised an eyebrow and let out a breath like a shrug. "I still get them." There was something about talking to Sophia about this that felt freeing to him; she understood in a way that no other friend could. "But it'll get easier."

Sophia looked at him doubtfully. "When?" There was part of her that wondered if he was just telling her that to make her feel better, or if he was doing it for his own benefit.

Brass let out a chuckle. "Alright." His expression became a bit more serious. "So I'm struggling with it, but keeping busy and cutting down on coffee so I'm actually tired when it's time to go to sleep; it helps some." He had managed ok, and he was doing well at work. There were some that thought he should just retire, but police work was in the fabric of who he was, he was sure that he would be doing this for a very long time. In the back of his mind he knew that in part it was because he never wanted another suspect to sucker him they way the bastard that had shot him had. Maybe every case he worked was a way to sort of buy redemption from that one mistake.

Their conversation was interrupted by Alex Vartan walking into the hospital room; he only had eyes for Sophia. "It's time to break you out of here." He was grinning like a thirsty man might grin at a waterfall. "Just a couple of forms and as soon as the nurse gets here with the wheelchair, I get to take you home."

Brass gave Sophia one more squeeze of the hand before letting go and offering her a warm smile. "I think I'll be going so your knight in shining armor here can take you away in his pumpkin." He got up and glanced at Sophia with a smile.

"Thanks, Jim." Sophia's eyes conveyed her gratefulness at his understanding of what she was going through; she was sure this wasn't going to be the last conversation they had about it.

"Hey, just because you're driving that new Magnum and I'm still stuck in a hand me down Taurus doesn't make it a pumpkin." Vartan and Brass had been exchanging barbs about the Captains hot police ride for months and he knew it was only a matter of time before he was issued one as well, but in the meantime it had become a sort of inside joke.

Brass let out a good natured laugh and let himself out of the room.

"I don't care what the hell you take me home in, as long as we're going home." Sophia wanted to grumble about having to ride in a wheelchair to the car when she was discharged, but the reality was, she just wanted to go home and let the man she loved hold her.

Vartan sat down next to her on the bed and leaned over to kiss her forehead. He was so looking forward to getting her out of here where he could just take her in his arms and hold onto her for a long time to make sure she was really ok. "That's my girl."


	37. Chapter 37

About the same time Sophia was discharged from the hospital, Nick and Sara had both been cleared by both IAB and the department shrink to return to work. It had been several days since their date out at Red Rock Casino and now that the reality of work had arrived, there was also the reality of having to maintain a professional demeanor at work regardless of the fact that they had no plans to hide their relationship from anyone.

Sara felt nervous as she walked into the lab that night; she had told Nick that while pulling over in the Starbuck's parking lot to make out under the guise of picking up coffee on the way to work was perfectly fine, making out in the parking lot of the lab or the locker room was completely another. She didn't even want him to hold her hand as they walked in the door together. She was trying to focus on getting to the locker room and to the briefing so she could immerse herself in a case and keep her mind off of the last few days at least until after shift was over.

Nick trailed after her with an amused expression on his face. The fact that Sara wouldn't even look at him as they walked seemed to draw more attention to them than if they'd walked in holding hands. They rounded the corner into the locker room and Nick smirked at her. "Sar, are you even going to talk to me while we're at work?"

Sara turned around to face him and it took a fraction of a second for her to notice his expression. She smirked back. "Define talking." Their relationship was definitely at that stage where they had difficulty keeping their hands off of each other; something that over the last few days especially they hadn't even tried to do. Now that they were at work, however, she felt like they needed to maintain a certain amount of professional decorum.

Nick let out a soft chuckle and then glanced down before raising his eyes to hers. "I promise you _again_ that I can be professional at work. But we did decide that we aren't hiding our relationship either, Sara. I think we'll just have to learn as we go." He had never really dated a coworker before that he saw in the course of a day as much as he saw Sara and it could potentially be very awkward for the rest of the team if they were too overtly affectionate towards each other. But he also didn't think they any of them except maybe Grissom would really care if they were seeing each other.

"I'm just nervous, Nick." This wasn't the first time that Sara had made that confession. But she was nervous about more than just everyone finding out the two of them; she was nervous about working with both Nick and Grissom.

Nick could read her like a book. "About us or is this about Grissom?" He was coming to the realization that whether he wanted it or not, there was always going a fear that Grissom would come between them, whether as their supervisor, or as Sara's former lover. He had decided that regardless of the feelings she was still struggling with, he was going to give their relationship all he had and then if for some reason things didn't work out between them he would know it wasn't because he had held anything back.

Sara couldn't help herself and she reached over and gently touched his face. "Both maybe." She let out a soft sigh. "I don't want him thinking that we can't handle working together." A smirk began to flit across her face. "And I'm not sure if we _can_ handle working together." She only mildly protested when Nick's hands came to rest on her waist.

"We _can_ handle it." Nick smiled confidently as he pulled her a little bit closer, quite pleased when Sara leaned into him and slid her arms around his waist, her cheek coming to rest against his chest. "We've always been professional and we'll continue to be professional."

Sara tipped her head back and looked up into his eyes. "We weren't dating before." She had a point; it was much easier to act professionally with someone you hadn't slept with.

"That's true." Nick smirked at her, thoroughly amused at the fact despite their agreement that they needed to keep the displays of affection to a minimum while they were at work that they were standing in the middle of the locker in rather cozy proximity to one another and he desperately wanted to kiss her. "But we are now so how would you suggest we behave?"

Sara kept eyeing his lips and had a sudden urge to lean up and kiss him. "Probably not like this." In the back of her mind as their lips connected and Nick eagerly kissed her back she knew this was a bad idea; anyone could walk right in and catch them. She fought a surge of panic for a moment before she realized that they weren't hiding this and she began to kiss him back with gusto.

"I guess the rumors were true then." A rather smug looking Warrick Brown chose that moment to saunter slowly into the locker room to get ready for the beginning of shift and the lip lock he found Nick and Sara in only confirmed what had been circulating around the lab for the last few days.

They pulled away from each other both of them with smiles on their faces, but Nick's smile was decidedly more smug than Sara's. "Depends on what you heard." He knew all too well how quickly a factoid about someone in the lab could very quickly turn into something rather overblown depending on when the information hit David Hodges.

Warrick let out a knowing chuckle and shook his head as he opened his locker. "Just that Archie saw the two of you looking pretty cozy at the Dave Matthews concert the other night. He said he was going to say hello, but that by then you two were otherwise occupied." Of course that had been the rumor once he'd gotten to the source of the information; by the time he'd heard it a fourth time it involved a wedding at one of those chapels out on the Strip where he and Tina had tied the knot.

Sara was doing her best to keep the color out of her cheeks as she leaned against the bay of lockers and looked at Warrick. "That's true." She was somewhat surprised that Warrick didn't grow a third ear or his head didn't spin around at the news that she and Nick had become an item and she found herself feeling very relieved.

"What else did you hear?" Nick was certain that Warrick was giving him the shortened version of things; he'd worked here long enough to know that the rumors seldom stopped at just the truth.

Warrick shut his locker and a lazy smirk spread across his face. "Before or after Grissom chewed Hodges a new one?" The whole exchange had been rather priceless and it had left David Hodges rather speechless; something that no one in the lab really recalled having happened ever.

"Before." Nick glanced over at Sara to see if she was as surprised as he was that Grissom had interjected himself into the situation. She didn't seem to be and that made him relax a little; he was their boss after all. The fact that it sounded like he was defending Sara's honor was something he didn't even want to contemplate.

Warrick crossed his arms over his chest and regarded his two friends. "Well I'm pretty sure that everyone knows now that you didn't get drunk and elope." He paused for just a fraction of a second before deadpanning, knowing full well that the pair had just started dating. "Unless of course there's something you want to tell me."


	38. Chapter 38

Alex Vartan was tired and extremely cranky; after nearly two weeks sitting at the hospital with Sophia, he had been told that since Sophia was now home and recuperating that he needed to either take a leave of absence or get his ass back to work if he wanted to continue being a detective for the Las Vegas Police Department. It was a very reluctant man that left her alone as he'd gone off to work; only the fact that she'd told him that Tina Brown was going to stop by and check on her made him feel marginally better about leaving her alone even though she'd insisted that she would be perfectly fine. He knew that she was right, but he'd almost lost her and he couldn't help but worry the entire shift to the point that Vega asked him if his head was on the case. Fortunately, it had been a quiet shift and he was looking forward to doing nothing but going home and taking Sophia to bed with him.

As he pulled into the driveway of the condo they shared, he turned off the ignition and leaned back in his seat for a moment and smiled. It had only been a few weeks before the shooting that they'd decided to move in together; consolidating two households into one and for the first few days he wondered if he had made the biggest mistake of his life. But then they had sort of fallen into a syncopated rhythm and it felt so natural to be together that he couldn't imagine wanting to be anywhere but with her. He chided himself for a moment for not thinking of stopping for flowers on the way home to let her know how much he'd missed her, but then she probably would just roll her eyes and tell him he was being too sentimental, even though he knew she would have loved it in spite of her protests.

He let himself in; frowning as he found just the light above the stove in the kitchen on and Sophia nowhere in sight. He reasoned that she must be in bed and at the moment that seemed to him to be a very good place to be. As he shrugged off his suit jacket, hanging it on the back of one of the dining room chairs, he noticed something on the carpet. His immediate reaction was fear that something had happened to Sophia and that this just might be some crucial piece of evidence; and then he took another step and realized that there appeared to be a trail of something leading down the hallway towards their bedroom. It took him another second to realize that the trail of something were rose petals and that made his heart quicken, but for a very good reason.

He grinned as he loosened his tie and slipped off his shoes making his way down the hallway, glancing over at the light on over the stove and only then noticing a pair of champagne glasses and what appeared to be a note. His grin widened as he picked up the note and read it.

_Alex,_

_Look in the refrigerator and then come join me in the bedroom. I've missed you._

_Love,_

_Sophia_

He quirked an eyebrow as he stepped over to the fridge and glanced inside; a chilled bottle of sparking cider, which would definitely not interact with her pain medication, had a red ribbon tied around it. He gathered it up along with the two champagne glasses and softly made his way towards the bedroom. He paused outside the door for just a moment, setting down the bottle and glasses on the hardwood floor long enough to tug his socks off and hang his uncooperative tie on the doorknob.

As he opened the door he sucked in his breath in surprise.

Sophia glanced up and smiled. "You're right on time." Her voice was soft and sultry and the votives she'd lit around the room illuminated the soft blue lingerie she had on. "But definitely over dressed." Tina Brown had indeed stopped by earlier, but it wasn't just to check in on Sophia, it was to help her execute her plan to seduce Alex when he got home to let him know that the doctor had given her the ok to resume all of her normal activities, as long as she didn't overexert herself.

"You look so beautiful." Alex set the glasses down on the nightstand along with the bottle; he wasn't particularly thirsty for anything but Sophia just then and from the look in her eyes, he would have ventured to guess that she wasn't very thirsty either. Maybe later that might come in handy, but right now he just wanted to touch her and he slid onto the bed next to her.

"I've been thinking about you all day..." She reached over and began to slowly unbutton his shirt, smiling as he leaned in and kissed her neck. She could tell that he had definitely missed her as much as she'd missed him.

"I've been thinking about you." He'd had more than a difficult time thinking about anything but her the entire shift. If he had any doubt before; he was completely sure that he was hopelessly in love with Sophia and for the first time since they'd become engaged it seemed he would be able to show her exactly how much.

"I can see." Sophia had managed to get his shirt unbuttoned and she slid her hand up his chest, thankful that there were no nurses or doctors that could walk in and interrupt.

Alex continued to nuzzle her neck, his hand coming to rest on her silken clad hip as he slid her fractionally closer to him. He felt Sophia trailing her fingers down his chest until she reached his belt and began to unfasten it. He stopped kissing her neck and a grin spread across his face as he pulled back to look into her eyes. "Someone is a little eager." But then, she wasn't the only one; he was pretty damn eager himself.

She smirked at him with a single brow arched. "Get your pants off now." She was all for foreplay most of the time, but she hadn't been with the man for a while now and she didn't have the patience for too much of it. Later on there would be plenty of time for taking things nice and slow; now was not that time.

Alex let out a deep laugh and then leaned in and kissed her long and deep, only pulling away when she pushed against his chest and gave him a stern look.

"Either you take them off yourself, or I'll do it for you." She had meant to sound firm, the way she would talk to a particularly surly suspect, but it had come out sounding rather sultry instead and by the look on his face, he wasn't complaining.

Alex looked at her for a long moment and then rolled onto his back with a sexy grin on his face, his eyes never leaving hers. "I'm all yours."

"I like the sound of that." The edges of Sophia's mouth pulled up into a smile as she slid over towards him; her fingers toying with his zipper. She pulled herself astride his lap as she leaned down for a long kiss before she slid his zipper down and mumbled against his lips. "I get to be on top."


	39. Chapter 39

In the real world, crimes aren't solved within the span of an hour of television and as Greg had come to learn over the last year or so of being a CSI, every piece of evidence no matter how inglorious it might seem at the time of collection had the potential to become the key to putting a suspect behind bars for a very long time. His years in the DNA lab had taught him at least that much; the best DNA samples came from the nastiest stuff. So as he continued to plod diligently through evidence that had been collected at the crime scene where Sophia had been shot weeks after the fact, he wasn't completely surprised to stumble across something that in and of itself probably had been innocuous at the time, but now armed with the knowledge of other evidence that had been processed and knowing who the shooter had been, Greg realized that this simple piece of stained fabric told a story that none of them had really anticipated. With the DNA results that Wendy had just provided to him and a grin of thanks to her, he quickly got up from the layout table he'd been working at and set off to find Catherine.

Catherine was in the middle of a search of her own. Since they had quite literally had someone claiming a connection to the murder weapon dropped in their laps she had been trying to find a paper trail that might lead them to Billy's uncle Frank. Frank Sutherland was a prominent businessman in Las Vegas and had all the appearance of being a fine upstanding citizen, however, she had learned long ago that things were often not the way they seemed and had been trying to dig a little deeper ever since without having to obtain a warrant. So far she hadn't gotten any further than his company's annual report and a search through law enforcement databases to see if he'd had any brushes or run ins with the law. So far, Frank seemed squeaky clean much to her chagrin.

Greg was a little out of breath as he rounded the corner into Catherine's office, but looking very eager. "I got something."

Catherine glanced up and arched a single brow at Greg. "Please tell me you've got something on Uncle Frank; so far he's got a cleaner record than most of the men I've dated." Her tone was tongue in cheek, but deep down she had to admit that there was probably at least some truth in her statement.

"Well that's because you've never dated me." There was amusement dancing in Greg's eyes; he'd be lying if he said he'd never entertained the idea of romancing Catherine, but he knew that she wasn't his type, and she didn't generally date men as young as him; a point that she'd made to him more than a few times over the years. When he'd worked in the lab he flirted shamelessly with all the women, now it seemed he'd become decidedly more serious since working out in the field and the flirting with coworkers seemed to be much less frequent these days.

Catherine pursed her lips together to contain her smirk; as much as she knew he really didn't want to date her, she appreciated the boost to her ego. "What do you have?" She noticed the report in his hand and held hers out expectantly.

Greg held it close to his chest for a moment. "Just the piece of evidence that's going to crack this case wide open." His confident grin underscored his belief that what he'd just said was true as he handed the report to Catherine.

Her eyes studied the report for a moment and then as the realization hit her, she glanced up with her mouth slightly agape. "What was this from?" She wanted to make sure what she was seeing was really what she was seeing.

"From some of the original evidence that Grissom collected." For some reason in the overall scheme of things, they had focused on the evidence that they had collected first and had then realized that what few pieces Grissom had collected were still waiting for processing.

"In the bedroom where Walter Bradley's body was." Catherine wanted clarification because if this was the case then they just might be very close to solving this case.

"Yes." Greg confirmed as he began to fill Catherine in. "So it seems that maybe our friend Billy wanted the gun back for another reason." It had been rather easy to compel Billy to volunteer a DNA sample under the guise that they needed to use it to make sure he really was the guns rightful owner. The reality was at the time of his confession, there wasn't any solid evidence beyond his claim that the gun belonged to his uncle to charge him with any crime and so he'd been released.

"Or maybe he was a pawn for Frank Sutherland." Catherine just didn't think that Billy was smart enough to commit a murder that looked more like a hit. She still liked Gunther for the crime; they knew he'd shot Sophia with the gun and had assumed that he'd shot Walter Bradley too, but they didn't have was any physical evidence that he was in the room where Walter Bradley's body had been found. That had left open the possibility of more than one assailant and here was Greg providing proof that at least one other person had been in that room.

"Could be; he seemed pretty freaked out that he couldn't get the gun back to Uncle Frank." Greg wondered how in the world the kid had gotten mixed up in the whole thing anyway; he didn't seem the type that would get mixed up in something like murder, but then again, lots of things about this job didn't make sense.

"Maybe we should have Brass call Billy and tell him we need to ask a few more questions." Catherine knew that there had to be someone else behind all of this; the kid was no mastermind and based on the rap sheet of their dead shooter Gunther, he was no braniac either, just a hired thug.

Greg grinned at her. "I thought you might say that." He had taken the liberty of calling Brass on his way to find Catherine and he'd agreed that he thought he and Billy needed to sit down for a nice heart to heart talk in an interrogation room.

Catherine's smile was genuine. "You know, you're shaping up to be a pretty good CSI, Greg." She meant it; the year he'd spent being mentored by Sara had been a valuable one and now she was sincerely glad that they were on the same shift and he was working her case.

"You want to drive down to PD, or should I?" Greg was please for the compliment; he knew Catherine didn't hand them out unless she truly meant it.

"I'll drive." She smirked at him; if she let him drive, it might take all day; he could stand to learn a few things about driving a bit faster from Nick or Warrick who had both been tagged with the nickname Mario on occasion. Of course a ride with either of those two could also have you wondering if you were going to get to the crime scene in one piece, but at least the evidence would be a hell of a lot fresher. "You call Warrick to meet us in the parking lot." She wanted to make sure that if Billy was guilty or offered up his uncle that the entire team working this case was there.

"I get shotgun." Greg smirked.


	40. Chapter 40

Before Catherine and Greg could make it out to a department issued Denali to meet Warrick for the drive down to PD, Catherine's cell phone rang. She furrowed her brow as she saw Brass displayed on the caller ID. "Hey, Jim."

Greg and Warrick exchanged a glance knowing that if Brass was calling before they'd even left the parking lot that the chances were either Billy had confessed on the spot or there was something a bit more sinister at hand. Unfortunately, it seemed that fate was to deal the second of the two.

Catherine swore under her breath as she listened to Brass talk and as she repeated an address she glanced over at Greg and Warrick and shook her head. She finished the call and then addressed the two CSIs. "Apparently, Billy was unavailable to talk."

Warrick quirked a single brow and looked at her dubiously. "How unavailable?" He had a bad feeling about all of this.

"Permanently." Catherine confirmed what the other two had been thinking as she had been talking to Brass. "Single gun shot wound to the forehead." This little interrogation had just turned into a 419 and the circumstances were definitely suspicious. Clearly someone felt the need to take care of Billy then the fish that was on the other end of the line was a whale.

"Uncle Frank?" Greg was taking things to the most logical conclusion, but so far this case hadn't really been very logical; they still had yet to establish a motive for why Walter Bradley had been killed in the first place. Now it appeared that their hunch that Gunther had been a hired gun; or at least had a partner for the task was right on.

"Brass said he was confident we could probably get a warrant to look into him a little bit more deeply. Right now though, we have a scene to process." Catherine was tired; she and the guys had been working long hours for days and although Nick and Sara were back at work, Grissom had already put the three of them on another case and unless they could pull in someone from days as well, it looked like this might be another double shift.

"What kind of guy offs his own nephew?" Warrick found it hard to stomach this job at time; it was being able to go home and have a little solace from the evil he saw everyday that helped him get by.

"We don't know that he did." Catherine was trying to remain neutral, but she too like Uncle Frank for this; it would at least maybe make a little more sense and would be easier to wrap up the case.

"Follow the evidence." Greg repeated Grissom's mantra; you didn't have the liberty to assume you knew the truth until you had carefully examined the evidence and let it draw you to the proper conclusion. Sometimes it wasn't always the easiest one to accept given the brutality of what they saw on a daily basis.

With Warrick behind the wheel of the Denali they arrived at the new crime scene in short order and as they spilled out the SUV, all of them were relieved to see multiple black and whites and the Dodge Charger that Brass drove littered around the house which they assumed was the residence of Billy.

Brass met them outside the front door with a sardonic smile. "Looks like Billy wasn't our only vic." He was frustrated and although he rarely showed that sort of emotion on the job; it was telling around his eyes that this case in particular was quickly becoming a thorn in his side.

With disbelief in her voice, Catherine ventured a guess. "Uncle Frank?" This case was getting more bizarre by the moment.

"I'm afraid so." Brass glanced over at Greg and Warrick and smirked. "I hope you guys brought your lunch, I think you're going to be here for quite a while."

"Great." Warrick's tone was devoid of any enthusiasm; he was sure this would be a double shift and that was something Tina wouldn't like at all. She knew it went with the territory, but she'd let him know that she wasn't fond of the hours he spent at work especially since they were trying to rekindle the romance in their marriage.

Greg on the other hand was trying to figure out who could possibly be responsible since all of the potential suspects that they'd identified were now dead. Hopefully this scene would yield something that would identify the Big Kahuna; the head cheese so to speak. He followed Warrick into the house with kit in hand hoping that somehow he'd be the one to find the evidence.

Catherine remained outside and gave Brass a look; her brow was deeply furrowed. "What's your take on this?" Damn the evidence she wanted to know what twenty plus years doing police work told him.

Brass pursed his lips together and then a smirk unfolded across his features. "Beats me." He really was at a loss; if CSI didn't find something they just might be at a virtual dead end and then the Sheriff would be all over his ass about it. "Could be unrelated." The look of doubt on Catherine's face underscored his own feelings about the situation. "Ok, probably is related, but unless we can find something to implicate someone other than the dead bodies, we've got nothing." This was definitely not a place he enjoyed being.

"Ok, then I guess I'd better go help Warrick and Greg." Catherine smiled and picked up her own kit and headed into the house.

Warrick didn't even bother to glance up as he processed the doorknob. "No sign of forced entry, so either someone had a key or the door was unlocked." He hoped that one of the partials that he'd been able to lift would actually be in AFIS.

"With Billy's claim that Uncle Frank would kill him if he didn't return the gun I doubt that it was unlocked." Although Catherine briefly wondered if Uncle Frank had done just that; they'd have to wait of course until Doc Robbins had time to determine cause of death and hopefully there would be bullets from both bodies to compare to see if the same weapon was used.

Catherine quickly surveyed the scene where Billy's body lay and then moved towards the body they presumed was Uncle Frank sprawled out on the kitchen floor.

"You think murder suicide?" Greg was standing there staring at Billy's body thinking out loud with his camera paused mid-air as if he was trying to decide if he wanted another angle to shoot from.

Catherine shook her head. "Do you see a weapon anywhere near the bodies? This was definitely murder." And that one observation just made this case officially complicated.


	41. Chapter 41

It had been a long shift and Sara was tired, but with a mountain of evidence yet to process on the case she'd been working with Nick and Grissom she knew that she'd probably be pulling a double. At that moment she was sifting through one of a dozen or so bags of garbage collected from the crime scene where their victim had been found. She was so intent on the task at hand that she almost didn't hear Grissom walk into the layout room.

"Anything probative?" Grissom had been surprised at how nervous he had been about working with Nick and Sara; nervous was not a word that usually describes him. Despite the fact that people claimed he didn't have a heart, he felt like his heart was going to fall out of his chest as Sara glanced up.

Sara felt a pang as she noticed the tired lines around his eyes and she wondered how well he was sleeping since they'd broken up. "You mean other than the fact that our vic probably suffered from a severe case of OCD?" She couldn't think of any other explanation for why someone would keep this much garbage in their home.

"Or perhaps they simply didn't pay their collection bill." Grissom's brow was furrowed as he looked at the other bags and he let his thoughts wander for a moment to the other reason he had come to find Sara.

"I might agree with you if the garage hadn't been completely empty; you'd think if they had been unable to pay the bill they would have at least put the trash out in the garage." Sara wrinkled her nose; most of this stuff was nasty. "On second thought, maybe they kept it in the house to take advantage of the air conditioning so it wouldn't smell as bad from the heat."

"Or maybe he brought it in _because_ the neighbors complained of the odor; it certainly might provide someone with a motive." Grissom was trying to work up his courage before it became obvious that he was staring at her with a hint of longing in his eyes.

Sara glance up at him and immediately felt a flurry of nerves as she considered that she wasn't quite sure of what to make of the expression on his face. "Maybe." She could tell that he wanted to say something. His face looked pale and Sara furrowed her brow with concern. "Are you ok, Gris?"

Grissom knew that he had to do this now; if he waited too much longer she might not have any feelings for him and he couldn't take that chance. "Sara, I've been doing a lot of thinking." There was such a sadness to his tone as he looked at her and he realized that he had let the best thing in his life get away from him because of his own fears. "I want another chance."

Sara felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She still had strong feelings for Grissom, but she was with Nick now and the more time she spent with him the faster and harder she was falling for him. She just looked at Grissom with her mouth slightly agape; she really didn't know what to say.

"I don't want to hide it anymore." Grissom didn't want to beg, but he was prepared to resign from the lab if that was what it took to convince her that he was serious. "I need you, Sara."

Sara finally found her words. "You'll lose your career." She knew exactly what the cost would be for him to publicly date a subordinate; that had been a conversation that had come up repeatedly while they had dated after she had tried to get him to succumb to temptation with her on the couch in his office. He had made it abundantly clear to her then that his career was the center of his world and that he wasn't willing to risk it, so now she was having difficulty comprehending that anything would have changed; she wasn't sure she could believe that he was implying that she was the center of his world.

"I'm not sure my career is enough for me anymore." Grissom had regrets and the biggest of those was that he had let Sara slip through his fingers; he hadn't realized until she was gone what he'd had. In a word he felt lost.

Sara let the evidence she'd been examining drop back to the layout table. "What are you saying, Gris?" Her mind was a jumble of thoughts right now; not the least of which was Nick and what he might say if he knew that Grissom was in here trying to win her back from him.

Grissom took a step towards her; his voice was soft and full of emotion. "I love you and I don't want to think that I lost you because I didn't even try." He was well aware that it might already be too late; a wiser man would have gone public when she'd first suggested it instead of insisting that it was too risky. He knew now that he had deeply hurt her and that what she needed was to be able to let the world know who loved her.

Sara had a sad lilt to her voice and her eyes looked conflicted. "Sometimes love isn't enough." She wasn't sure she could trust him to be telling the truth; what if she went back to him and he decided that he'd made a huge mistake by giving up his career for her? She knew what it was like to come to resent someone that you loved; she didn't want him to ever resent her for ruining his career because even though he claimed it wasn't enough for him anymore, she knew it was still his identity; he'd be lost without it.

"It's a good place to start." Grissom knew he needed to lay his cards out on the table. "I've been exploring some options outside the lab. Western LVU is looking for a forensics professor." It certainly wouldn't be as satisfying as following the evidence and solving crimes, but there was a point in this job where burnout was almost inevitable; he wasn't sure that he wasn't already on the brink.

"You would leave the lab?" Sara looked at him a little shocked; he was a brilliant criminalist and she couldn't believe that he would give that up for her; she wasn't sure he _should_ give it up.

"Would it bring you back?" Grissom wanted her to know that he truly was serious. He wasn't sure how he would fit as a professor; it would be an adjustment to be certain and the politics of a university were probably just as bad as those in law enforcement, but if it meant having a normal life with Sara he was willing to try.

"Grissom, don't ask me that." Sara didn't know what to do; she had feelings for the man standing there in front of her but she also had begun to develop some pretty strong feelings for Nick and she wasn't willing to give him up.

"But I _am_ asking." He looked at her intently; his voice soft and controlled. "I want you back, Sara, and if I have to resign my position and leave the lab to prove that to you I will." He felt as if he was about ready to step off into an abyss with nothing to prevent him from falling forever.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sara noticed that Nick had just rounded the corner and judging from the expression on his face, he'd heard what Grissom had just said. She swallowed hard and with far more control that she felt at that moment she gestured towards the pile of garbage sitting in front of her. "I have a lot of evidence to process and I think that Nick might have some results from trace."

Nick's jaw was clenched slightly and there was a hint of hurt and a bit of fire in his eyes, but as he addressed Grissom he was the consummate professional. "The substance we found on the body was ordinary corn oil." He glanced over at Sara for some sign that she wasn't seriously considering going back to Grissom and when all he saw in her eyes was confusion he decided that they were going to have to talk later.


	42. Chapter 42

If Nick had felt insecure about his relationship with Sara before, he felt it even more keenly now. He knew that she still had feelings for Grissom and he was worried that those feelings just might outweigh the newfound feelings that she had for him. She had said that feelings were a good place to start their relationship, but they hadn't been dating very long and he had worried if Grissom decided to act like a man and try and win Sara back that she just might go; she had pined for him for three years and she had a lot more invested in the bug man than she had in him. Still, he had feelings for her that he just couldn't contain anymore and he wasn't going to just lie down and let Grissom win her back without putting his cards out on the table and letting Sara decide. The confusion he'd seen on her face though had affected his ability to concentrate and he finally growled in frustration and sat back in his chair; the carpet fiber he was trying to compare to one they'd taken off of their vic would have to wait for a few minutes until he could find a way to clear his head.

It just wasn't fair. He was in love with Sara; not that she knew that, he thought he'd have a little time to work up his courage to get to those three little words after they'd been dating for a little while. He hadn't wanted to scare her off before they'd even had a chance to see if this thing between them might work by telling her that he loved her. But here was Grissom; by all accounts until a few short weeks ago, her dream man, telling her that he loved her and was willing to give up his career for her. The man lived and breathed this lab; if he was willing to give it all up for Sara then perhaps Nick had underestimated him; maybe he really _was_ the man for Sara.

What the hell was he thinking? _He_ was the man for Sara and he needed to show her that. Of course with Grissom making it clear that he wanted her back, he wasn't sure how to go about doing that without coming off as a jerk. He couldn't just walk up to her and say 'hey, baby, you're mine'; Sara was a modern woman and she wouldn't take too kindly to someone telling her that she belonged to them. That was a conclusion that she would have to come to on her own. Still he wanted to be with her and now that word had started to make its way around the lab that they were together he reasoned that it would be pretty damn awkward for her to suddenly decide that she wanted to dump him so that she could go back to Grissom.

Nick let out a frustrated sigh; who was he kidding? It wouldn't really be awkward for Sara it would be awkward for him. Everyone knew that she'd had feelings for Grissom and some surmised that they'd had some sort of romantic tryst before she'd even come to Vegas, the fact that the man with the reputation as the ladies man had somehow convinced her to date him was a far more shocking revelation in the halls of CSI; even if that same reputation was far more over inflated than the actual reality of his love life.

The truth was no matter how much he wanted to be with her or how embarrassing it would be for him if she chose to leave him and go back to Grissom he wanted her to be happy. If Grissom made her happy then he would find some way to deal with his feelings for her. He didn't want to be with her if she had doubts, but he wasn't going to just go down without a fight either.

They had talked about having breakfast after shift and then maybe if the double they were working hadn't turned into a triple by then they might get to spend a little quality time together before getting some sleep. Ever since they'd spent that night together at Red Rock he couldn't seem to get enough of her. Sara had turned out to be an ardent lover and he had grossly underestimated her prowess in the bedroom. That coupled with a friendship cultivated over several years had brought a level of feeling to the whole sexual experience that Nick had never known before. He had convinced himself that Sara was the one for him, but now with Grissom making a play for her again, he wasn't sure that Sara felt the same way; or could feel the same way.

Nick ran his hand over his eyes before gearing himself up to try and concentrate on the damn carpet fiber. They had nothing to compare it to at the moment but they needed to get some sort of identification to place on it so that if they did find another they would be able to tie the two together. He leaned back in and peered into the high-powered microscope.

"Any identification yet, Nicky?" Grissom knew that he needed to keep things professional as he walked into the lab that Nick was using to analyze a few pieces of trace evidence they had collected at the crime scene. He had seen the expression on Nick's face earlier when he'd been talking to Sara and he really wasn't sure what this romantic triangle was going to do the sort of fatherly relationship he had with Nick.

Nick felt nerves in the pit of his stomach and then glanced up. "Still working on it. It's not trilobal so I'm certain that it's not synthetic. I may need to have Hodges do some further analysis. Though Nick had a specialization in trace analysis, there were new things coming across their path everyday and Hodges had a freakish ability to identify things that perplexed just about everyone else.

"Sometimes knowing what it isn't is as important as knowing what it is." Grissom seemed please, although underneath the surface he was nervous too. He wasn't sure he should say anything about the earlier conversation that Nick had overheard, but then again, he had wanted to give him the same courtesy that had been extended in the hospital parking lot. But they were in the lab and there was the chance that someone could walk in, so he decided that perhaps he would bring it up later.

Nick looked at Grissom for a long moment and considered briefly that the man owed him an explanation, but then this was Grissom and oftentimes things he did defied explanation to those who didn't know him. In short, the chances that Grissom would actually bring up the subject of the conversation that he'd interrupted would be slightly less than the chances that a live dinosaur would be found wandering the jungles of the Amazon. He decided that he was going to have to initiate the conversation. "Grissom."

The tone in Nick's voice and the expression on his face caused Grissom to furrow his brow. "Yes, Nicky." He certainly hoped that whatever Nick was going to say was related to the investigation, but he had a sinking feeling that this was not going to be the case.

Nick dove in. "I know you want Sara back...I'm pissed as hell that you do." He tried to keep his voice calm so that he wouldn't attract any undue attention from anyone who might be walking by outside in the hallway. "The thing that I don't get is why now? Why after she's told you that things are over and she's with me and we're happy do you think you can walk in and tell her that you want her back?" The hurt was evident in Nick's tone.

Grissom let out a sigh and pursed his lips; he did not want to have this conversation here, but it looked like this was exactly where it was going to be. "I love her." By the emotion in his voice it was clear that he meant it; he really had no other explanation, but did he really need one?

"And you think that I don't?" Nick looked at him incredulously. "I would have stepped aside for you when we talked at the hospital if you had stepped up to the plate and acted like a man when you had the chance, but I'm not going to do that now." Not after he'd tasted what it was like to have Sara in his life as much more than his friend; he did not want to lose her to Grissom.

"I wouldn't expect you to." Grissom could tell that there was something special between Nick and Sara; Sara herself had said as much to him the last time they'd stood together in her apartment before he'd given her back the key. In the back of his mind, Grissom wondered if that same key was now in Nick's possession.

"Well then what the hell are you doing?" In Nick's world, a man didn't try and steal another man's woman. For himself, if he had known that Grissom and Sara had been dating, he would have never kissed her. That was just part of the code of honor he operated by.

"I want her to have all of the evidence." Grissom's words implied that Sara's decision to leave him was due in part because she didn't have all of the facts before; that her leaving him had been a mistake and he was only trying to give her the information that she had lacked so that she could correct the course of her decision.

Nick looked at him intently and shook his head. "Did you consider that maybe she already had enough evidence to make her decision?" He had no doubt that there was part of Sara that still loved Grissom and probably always would, but he also knew that Grissom had hurt her deeply by not realizing that a relationship with a woman; even a highly logical and intelligent woman like Sara, was unpredictable and just because you told her that you loved her once did not relieve you of repeating it at every opportunity, nor did it relieve you from finding ways to show her that you loved her that meant something to her. He just didn't think that even now that Grissom really got it.

For the first time since he'd decided to try and win Sara back, Grissom realized that he was in far over his head and he had no assurance that things would turn out favorably for him.


	43. Chapter 43

Nick was still mulling over Grissom's declaration to Sara as he continued to examine evidence in their case. Grissom had avoided answering his question, but then maybe that was a good thing. The man had some gall to come after Sara now; she was with him now and he didn't appreciate Grissom thinking that he had the right to go after her. But then again, he'd been the one that had chastised the bug man for _not_ going after her when she'd told Grissom that things were over in the first place. His anger towards his friend and supervisor was beginning to dissipate and as it did, it was replaced with worry once again that Sara might just decide that Grissom's willingness to give up his career for her was what she'd been waiting for all this time. Somehow deep in his gut, he didn't think she really wanted Grissom to give up his career though; the man was a brilliant scientist and it was that in part that Sara had originally fallen in love with; to take that from him would rob the very core of the man. No, Nick was almost certain that what Sara truly wanted more than that sacrifice was for Grissom to understand that she mattered enough to him to let the consequences of their actions fall wherever they were going to and then go on from there. Even now it seemed that he didn't truly grasp the situation clearly.

He was engrossed in thought when he heard soft footfalls entering the room. He smiled as the softness of Sara's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Are you planning on working a triple?" Her voice had a lilt at the end that made almost anything sound a bit like a question.

Nick glanced up at her and noticed the concern in her eyes and wondered to himself if the consternation he was feeling inside had made it to his features and as he straightened up in his chair he realized just how tense he'd become by how tight the muscles in his neck and shoulders were. "Just lost track of time...somehow I thought I'd get through all of this."

Sara smirked with a glint of mischief in her eyes. "Well, Grissom is of the opinion that all of this can wait until tomorrow. Trace and DNA are both backed up and processing it right now isn't going to give us results back any faster." She hadn't really protested at wrapping up a double shift in favor of a little sleep and part of her was also glad that Grissom hadn't brought up the earlier conversation again; instead leaving things at a more professional level.

"I'm not going to argue about that." Nick was relieved that he could actually pack this stuff back into the evidence locker and go home. Although he certainly hoped that Sara might come with him. He still wasn't sure where things between them stood since Grissom had told her that he wanted her back. And the fact that she'd obviously talked to him since earlier had him feeling worried too.

Sara's voice sounded slightly hesitant as she looked Nick in the eyes. "So I was thinking that we talked about having breakfast...and I didn't know if you were still up for it or not, but I make a pretty good omelet." She felt a flurry of nerves as she searched his face for some sort of reaction. She knew that it had been awkward earlier when Nick had walked in and overheard what Grissom had said to her; she was still trying to sort things out in her own mind, but that might take some time and in the meantime, she wanted to spend some more time with Nick because she couldn't ignore the fact that she had feeling for him.

"Are you inviting me over?" Nick couldn't contain his grin as he studied her with unabashed admiration. If she wanted to spend time with him, then that meant that she hadn't immediately come to the conclusion that she wanted to go back to Grissom. It wasn't the exact answer he was looking for, but it was certainly a step in the right direction and he would take that.

Sara pursed her lips, pleased with just how eager he was to spend time with her. "Unless you have other plans." They hadn't clearly defined where they were going to have breakfast when they'd talked about it before work, but the implication that much more than breakfast was going to be involved was certainly there.

Nick shook his head. "No other plans." He hoped that they might talk at least a little bit about what was going on, but he'd known her long enough to know that he had better not push the issue too much. She needed enough space and time to come to her own conclusion and he only hoped that _he_ was the conclusion that she would ultimately come to.

"Good." Sara smiled widely and she felt those nerves swirling again although she wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the newness still of their relationship and the fact that they'd only been together a few times since that first time out at Red Rock and the anticipation of it made her excited and nervous all at the same time. "I'll meet you there then."

"Ok." Nick was grinning ear to ear now and he resisted the urge to kiss her right there; he had promised that he could remain professional at work and he was still on the clock. Once he arrived at her apartment though, all bets were off.

"Ok." Sara grinned back and then turned and disappeared down the hallway walking purposefully towards the locker room.

It took Nick a little while to stow all of the evidence in its proper location and by the time he left the lab and headed towards Sara's he was hungry for far more than just breakfast. He parked his rig and took the steps up to her apartment two at a time, eager to see her without the distraction of a case or Grissom to get between them.

Sara was smiling as she opened the door; she'd showered and changed into a tank top and a pair of track pants, her hair curling around her face as it air dried. "Hey." At the moment he looked far better than breakfast.

"Hey." Nick's voice was husky and he smiled back at her as he closed the door behind them and pulled her into his arms, placing a kiss on her upturned lips and letting himself get lost in the sensation for quite a few minutes before finally releasing her.

Sara felt slightly intoxicated by the kiss and leaned in for another, letting her hands slide up Nick's chest and drift over his shoulders. Omelets were all well and good, but she was certain that at the moment both of them were hungry for something quite different and as she began to walk them back towards her bedroom her thoughts were confirmed as Nick willingly followed. As they tumbled onto her bed, the thought entered her mind that this was the first time that she and Nick would be making love in her apartment; the last time she'd shared her bed with a man it had been Gil Grissom and she tried to push that thought aside as quickly as it had come. Instead she tried to focus on Nick and the way his kiss left her feeling dizzy.

It was much later as they lay together underneath her comforter that Sara found herself lost in thought. Nick had fallen asleep spooned up against her and his arm was slung over her waist. Three little words were swimming around in her mind; words that Nick had uttered to her in the throes of passion; words that she wasn't sure she had really been ready to hear him say to her. And yet he'd uttered them again as a whisper in her ear as he began to drift off to sleep. Sara wasn't sure if she was more afraid of the fact that he'd said that he loved her or the fact that she was finding that she was beginning to feel the same way; despite the feelings that she still had for Grissom. She lay there for a long time thinking about how those three little words had complicated things far more than she had ever anticipated they could before she finally drifted off to sleep too.


	44. Chapter 44

"What do you say we just get married, now, today?" Alex Vartan usually was a patient man, but after all that had happened he wasn't patient when it came to how he felt about Sophia and after several conversations that they'd had, he knew that she was not particularly looking forward to planning even a simple wedding.

Sophia's face reflected a hint of surprise, but the smile that followed revealed that maybe she wasn't really surprised at all. "Today." It wasn't that she was against the idea and if they were going to do this right now Vegas was a very convenient place to be. She was just maybe a little surprised that he wanted to do it this soon. It had taken a long time for them to come to grips with having a secret relationship; a relationship that both of them really didn't want to keep a secret and now that everyone knew about it there was another level to it that neither one of them had anticipated that had ignited a joy between them that was unquenchable.

"Yes, today." Alex smiled broadly at her where they sat snuggled together on the couch just enjoying each other's company. "I have the night off and I was thinking that maybe I could take a little vacation time and we could have a proper honeymoon while you're still recovering." It made perfect sense; they wanted to get married and Sophia already had several more weeks before she was going to be cleared to do anything more than push paper around a desk. Then there was the issue of getting that time off for him. He didn't think that Brass would be a hard sell, but the Sheriff might just be another issue altogether.

"A honeymoon." Sophia really was surprised now; something like a honeymoon took some planning or you ended up paying through the nose and with the house they'd bought together not that long ago, an expensive trip really wasn't the best financial decision that they could make right then. Still, a honeymoon in some tropical locale sounded absolutely heavenly after the time that she'd spent in the hospital; that is if her doctor would go for it.

"Somewhere we can be alone without anyone to disturb us." Alex hadn't really thought this one through, but there were plenty of places that had last minute vacations at discounts, maybe he could get lucky and find them just the thing. He'd still have to call Brass, but he needed to know for sure that Sophia wanted to get married today.

"That sounds really nice." Sophia smiled because he seemed oblivious at that moment to the fact that they _were_ alone and since he had the night off there shouldn't be any interruptions unless aliens invaded Vegas. She leaned in and placed a kiss against his cheek. "I think getting married today sounds wonderful actually." There would be no headaches about picking a bridesmaid or paying too much for a dress with too many frills, and best of all, she would be able to marry Alex without days on end of her mother chiming in with her two cents worth about flowers and colors and all the details that made planning a wedding a living hell for some brides.

If his smile could have gotten any brighter it would have rivaled the sun. "Today. We're getting married today." Of course he had absolutely no idea where to get married; despite the plethora of wedding chapels on the Strip, he wanted a little less glitz and a little more glamour for their big day. Then there was the question of whether or not to invite anyone for the nuptials; witnesses would be good.

"We should call Brass; maybe my mother." Sophia knew that if she didn't call her mother she would never hear the end of it; as it was getting married at a wedding chapel in Vegas would give her enough material as it was.

"I'll call Brass; he'll need to approve my time off." He only hoped that on such short notice it wouldn't be a problem; it was one thing when Sophia was in the hospital, getting married was another story. Still, Brass had a soft spot for Sophia so he was hopeful that it would be a slam dunk.

"Are you sure you don't want to break the news to my mother?" Sophia smirked at him. The truth was, her mother would probably be glad so that she would be free to indulge in her new favorite hobby of traveling.

"She loves you Sophia." Alex slid his fingers into her hair; he could tell that despite the outward conflict that she had with her mother that Sophia only wanted to measure up in her eyes; something that he wished she could see that she'd already done. "And I love you even more."

The kiss was soft and tender and thoughts of calling anyone were set aside for a while as they just indulged the pleasure of that kiss. So many things had been taken for granted and with a new lease on life neither one of them wanted to take each other for granted again.

Alex was the one that finally pulled away smiling. "I'll call Brass."

They were surprised at just how easy it was to pull things together. As cheesy as getting married in a chapel in Vegas sounded, it was almost effortless because these chapels knew what they were doing and where you might have forgotten something, they had thought of everything.

Brass approved the time off telling them that he'd take the heat from the Sheriff if he had a problem with it. And in a softer tone he offered to give Sophia away; she gladly accepted.

By the time they'd assembled at the tasteful wedding chapel, word had spread and a few people from PD as well as Grissom had joined Brass and Sophia's mother to round out the wedding party. Small and tasteful was just what Sophia wanted and in the end, Alex was just happy that Sophia had agreed to become Mrs. Vartan.

It was later as they lounged at home in bed that Sophia considered what a beautiful moment this was; how things could have turned out so much differently for her and that the pain that her death would have caused Alex would have been something she wouldn't have wanted him to have to deal with.

"Alex?" She wasn't sure if he was sleeping yet or if he was just feeling as relaxed as she was.

"Yeah, babe?" He wanted to memorize this moment forever; he was married; married to a woman that was feisty as hell and yet soft and vulnerable. He loved her more than anything and he was so thankful that he had that second chance.

Words seemed to escape Sophia at that moment. All the things she wanted to say seemed to swirl together into a vortex somewhere; sucking them right out of her mouth. Her eyes though seemed to convey to him all that she couldn't say with words as she finally managed to speak; her voice filled with emotion. "I love you so much."

Alex heard the hitch in her voice and his was just as thick with emotion as he answered her. "I love you too Sophia; I love you too." They would get to that honeymoon eventually over the next few days, but for now this was more than enough.


	45. Chapter 45

Sara could tell that Nick was awake by the way his fingers softly trailed down her arm. She wasn't sure she wanted him to know that she was awake quite yet; that might mean that they really needed to talk. Not just about the three little words that he'd shared with her before he'd fallen asleep, but about Grissom and his confession that he wanted her back; Nick's three little words had just complicated things a bit. The truth was she didn't know what she truly wanted. Part of her still ached for Grissom and the idea that he was willing to give up everything for her made her second guess her decision to leave him. She had to question if she had really given their relationship a chance or if she had been so blinded by her quest for Grissom that she hadn't really understood who he really was or what he needed from their relationship. There was a part of her that wondered if he had just finally given in to her after she'd spent years wearing him down and that maybe she'd caught him at a weak moment because the Grissom she thought she knew had integrity and would never have consented to a romance that would have negative repercussions for the lab. And if that was true, then she had to wonder if she had destroyed the man that she'd sought to emulate as a professional. His career had defined him and yet here he was willing to give it up for her and she really didn't think that she was worth that kind of sacrifice; especially when she wasn't sure that she believed he was doing it for himself. The last thing she wanted to do was to force Gil Grissom into a university job just because he thought that was what it would take to win her back. She wasn't sure she could respect him for killing his soul and it was then that she realized that she needed to talk to him; no matter whether she chose to stay with Nick or ultimately chose to go back to Grissom she needed to make sure that Grissom made his choice because it was what he truly wanted.

Nick felt Sara stir and he could tell by the tightened expression on her face that she was deep in thought and perhaps that talk they should have had over omelets was something that couldn't be delayed any longer. He had meant it when he'd told her he loved her; he wanted her to know that, he didn't want to have any regrets if in the end she went back to Grissom that he'd held anything back. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her shoulder just as he saw her eyes flutter open. "You look beautiful when you wake up." Of course he thought she looked beautiful with CSI coveralls and goggles on, especially when she had that look of determination on her face that made him want to work just that much harder to keep up with her.

Sara felt a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth; Nick just had this way about him that melted her heart into a pile of goo. She turned in his arms and smirked as she noticed his short hair sticking up every which way. "And you look a little on the rumpled side."

Nick grinned at her and leaned in to softly kiss her, as he pulled away he spoke those words again. "I love you, Sara." He could tell by the look in her eye that she wasn't completely comfortable with his confession, but she wasn't running away either so he didn't think that her reaction was exactly a bad thing.

"That's what you said." Sara wasn't ready to say those words to him; she was certainly having strong feelings for him that left her feeling giddy and dizzy at times, but love was much more serious and she didn't want to say it unless she was completely confident that she meant it. Having second thoughts about another man was a sure sign that she wasn't ready to tell Nick that she loved him too.

Nick reached for her hand. "I mean it, you know. I just...with everything going on, I had to tell you...I've been thinking it for a long time though. Just Grissom's timing made me realize that maybe I should tell you now." He knew that he was laying his heart out where she could easily break it, but if she really and truly was the love of his life, he wasn't about to hold back.

"I'm not sure what to say, Nick." She could tell from his earnest expression that he meant what he said, but she was still mulling things over in her own mind and she didn't want to hurt him. "I'm not going to lie and say that I haven't been thinking about what Grissom said." The flash of fear on Nick's face caused her to squeeze his hand. "I'm not going anywhere right now, ok?" She held his gaze until he nodded. "Ok." She smiled at him belying her inner turmoil. "I just didn't expect him to do that...why does he have to be willing to do it now?"

"I don't know." Nick had his suspicions about why Grissom had chosen now; jealously was the top of his list of reasons. He probably would be jealous too if the shoe was on the other foot, but then again, he wouldn't have put Sara in the position of having to keep their relationship a secret either.

"Be patient with me." Sara regarded him as her friend before anything else and she didn't want to lose that if this romance between them didn't work out. "I care about you, Nick, I really do. I just didn't expect him to do that...I'm not really sure he _should_ do that, you know." She let out a sigh as she studied his expression; she could tell that he was scared that he'd put everything out there and she might still walk away. "This isn't fair to you is it?"

Nick's brow was furrowed, but he began to gently caress the back of her hand with his thumb. "Life isn't fair, Sara." He glanced at her and looked into her eyes. "You need to ask yourself if he makes you happy. Would you be happy if he gave it all up for you? Would it be what you really want?" He knew how he wanted her to answer that question, but he didn't know if she would.

"I don't know." Sara knew that she needed to be honest; she couldn't give Nick false assurance that everything between them would work out when she really didn't know deep down what she wanted. "I think he'd be a fool to give up his career for me; I think he'd end up resenting me if he did and I don't think I could live with that." She was still struggling with the fact that he hadn't been willing to even risk those things to go public with their relationship when she'd wanted him to, so now she had to question what was behind it and if it really was genuine. And even if it was, was that enough?

Nick felt conflicted. "Look, you know how I feel about you." He smiled in spite of himself. "More than anything, Sara, I want you to be happy. But you can't divide your heart between two men forever; at some point you have to decide which one you think will truly make you happy. Now I really hope that it's me; I really want you to pick me, I do, because I love you so much it hurts sometimes, but I want your whole heart not just part of it." He took a deep breath before he continued because the words themselves felt like they were ripping his heart out as he spoke. "Grissom says that he's willing to give up his whole world to show you that he loves you and wants you back and I know that you still care for him too." Nick's voice began to waver a bit. "You have to ask yourself if he makes you happy; you have to ask yourself if _I_ make you happy." He hadn't wanted it to sound like an ultimatum, but it was in a way; he truly wanted all of Sara's heart.

"I don't know if I can answer that right now." Sara's expression reflected Nick's and she felt like she was on the verge of crying. It would have been so much simpler if she'd just stopped loving Grissom altogether; this business of caring for two such different men was pain and joy all wrapped up in confusion and she didn't have a clue what to do about it except to let it unravel at its own pace. She only hoped that when she did figure it out that one of them would still be there and it would be the one that she truly wanted to be with deep in her heart. Only at this moment she had no idea which one of them it was.


	46. Chapter 46

It was about midway through shift when Sara decided to take a break and have that talk with Grissom. She hadn't felt this nervous about talking to him since before they'd dated each other; even breaking up hadn't made her feel this apprehensive. She made her way down the hallway towards his office and as her shoulder came to rest on the doorway to his office she watched as he glanced up as if he had been expecting her. "You got a minute, Grissom?"

Grissom's expression was weary and he gestured towards the chair across from his desk. "Yeah." Truth be told, he had as much time as she was willing to give him. He hadn't anticipated just how difficult it would be to work with her after they weren't seeing each other any more. He noted that she pulled the door closed behind her and he prepared himself for a conversation that would surely have little or nothing to do with work. Nerves swirled in the pit of his stomach as he considered that maybe she had come to tell him that he was too late, that she had already decided to stay with Nick and that things between them were too far gone to try again.

Sara settled herself in the chair and just looked at Grissom with an expression that was edged with sadness. "I've been thinking about what you said." She really didn't know what she wanted from him; if she hadn't already started dating Nick she might have considered going back to him right away, but she wasn't sure that the hurt that she'd felt at him not taking her request seriously about going public could be resolved without rebuilding trust between them. And then there was the issue of the resentment that she'd begun to feel. She needed to find a way to forgive him, but she wanted him to understand how much he'd hurt her. This wasn't going to be an easy fix even if she decided that all she wanted from him was his friendship.

"Have you come to any conclusion?" There was a flicker of hope in Grissom's eyes as he regarded Sara; he hadn't really understood the impact that she'd had on his world until she wasn't part of it any longer. He desperately wanted her back and he was ready to make whatever sacrifice was necessary to make that happen. He knew he shouldn't presume that she'd left Nick; that was wishful thinking for someone who had screwed up the way he had.

"No. No, I haven't." Sara took a deep breath as she looked directly at him and continued. "Grissom, you can't leave this lab. You _are_ this lab." She didn't want him making that kind of sacrifice for her; especially since she didn't know if it would really make any difference for them in the long run.

Grissom pursed his lips together and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk. "Sara, this lab can survive without me. I'm just not sure _I_ can survive this lab without _you_." His words were thick with emotion and it was clear from the way he was looking at her that he meant what he said.

"I'm not quitting." Sara wanted to reassure him that she wasn't going anywhere, whether she dated Nick or if she ultimately came back to him she had found a sort of family here and she didn't plan on going anywhere.

"That's not what I meant, Sara." He knew that she knew that, but he wanted to make it absolutely clear what his intentions towards her were. "I want you, I need you. Not as a subordinate...I need you; I love you."

Sara felt a pang as she studied his face for a long moment; she never imagined that she would feel quite like this. "Grissom, please don't leave the lab for me." She let out a sigh as she spoke softly. "I don't know if I can be with you again; I don't know that I _can't_ either, but if you leave, you need to do this for yourself, not me." Her words trailed off in a whisper.

"I'm not sure I understand." In his mind it had been fairly logical that if he orchestrated the circumstances so that they could be together publicly, that she would want to come back to him.

"I care about Nick." Sara had found something with her longtime friend that she'd never expected and now that she was in the middle of it, she didn't want to hurt him, but she was confused about both men.

Grissom was perceptive and his expression was uncharacteristically open. "But you still care about me too, don't you, Sara?" He knew that is she didn't care about him she wouldn't have taken the time to even have this conversation with him.

Sara didn't even hesitate. "Yes, I do; I do care about you." Why the hell did this have to be so damn difficult? "But I'm not sure it's enough." Her voice was impassioned as she continued. "When we were together I wanted everyone to know about us, but you weren't willing to take the risk. You were afraid that you would lose your job. But now, now that I'm with Nick, you tell me that you're willing to give it all up to get me back. I'm not sure it's that easy." Her tone was soft, but intense. "If you feel like you need to leave here; need to take a break, I understand that, I do, but please don't do this if you think it'll bring me back. I can't make you that kind of promise right now."

"I was wrong." Those three little words of his were so honestly spoken that it caught Sara's attention. Grissom's inner turmoil was evident on his face. "I never should have put my career before you, Sara. I know that now." He looked at her intently for a long moment. "I just want to know if it's too late."

Sara felt a surge of emotion and confusion and she felt as if her world was spinning out of control. "I don't know, I really don't know." She had a lot to think about and she knew that no matter which one of them she chose it wouldn't be easy.

The trill of Grissom's cell phone interrupted and as he flipped it open he couldn't have anticipated what he was about to hear. "Grissom." His brows immediately furrowed as he noted the tone in the voice of Jim Brass. "Jim? Jim, what's wrong?" The color drained from his face as he processed what he was hearing. "Oh my God, Jim. Where? Are you sure?" His voice reflected disbelief and he felt sick to his stomach. "Yes, I'll come." He ended the call and glanced up to see Sara staring at him with confusion and concern.

"Grissom, what is it?" Sara could tell that whatever news he'd just heard was bad; the only thing she wasn't sure of was how bad and who it involved.

There was a waver in Grissom's voice as he let out a fractured whisper. "Sophia and Vartan got married this morning. I was there, so was Brass, a couple of others from PD. They were on their way to their honeymoon..." His words caught in his throat at the disbelief of it all. "They were hit head on by a drunk driver...they were both killed instantly."

Sara crumpled in her chair as the reality of it hit her and she choked out a sob. She had been there when Sophia was shot and she thought that they would lose her then, but she'd defied the odds and recovered. And now after finding the love of her life in Alex Vartan, they were both gone just like that. Sara couldn't wrap her mind around how unfair this was. "You've got to be wrong; it can't be them." Before Grissom could say anything to reconfirm the horrible news, Sara pulled herself out the chair and fled his office in search of somewhere that she could clear her head.


	47. Chapter 47

As the news rippled through the lab, everyone was completely stunned. Nearly losing Sophia in the line of duty had shaken all of them, but to lose both her and Alex Vartan in a senseless head on collision on the way to their honeymoon seemed like a cruel twist of fate that no one could stomach. As much as there were plenty of crimes to investigate that night, not a single person in the lab could really focus on anything else but the horrific news.

Sara had holed herself up in a layout room in an attempt to continue processing the mountain of evidence that she'd been working on before she'd gone to talk to Grissom. She'd been holding onto the same matchbook staring off into oblivion for the last fifteen minutes or so and the tears that had been streaming down her face had petered out until she felt completely numb. None of this felt fair. You could find the love of your life and in the next instant it could be snatched away from you forever. In the face of that how in the world could you give your heart to someone?

The sound of a door opening caused her to glance up and from the troubled expression on Nick's face she was sure that he'd heard the news about Vartan and Sophia. He softly made his way over to her and without saying a word he took the matchbook out of her hand and enveloped her in a hug as she melted into his arms. The feeling of safety his embrace offered caused Sara to choke back a sob before the floodgates opened up once again. She didn't have to say a word to know that he was feeling this just as keenly as she was.

Sara's voice was raw as she sniffled against his shoulders. "Why, Nick, why? Why them, why her after everything they've been through, why?" She knew that there really was no answer, in this line of work she knew that all too well that logic didn't apply when it came to death and tragedy.

"I don't know, babe, I just don't know." Nick felt like he had been sucker punched as he heard the news filtering around the lab and as the reality of it began to sink in, he needed to find Sara. They had been there together when Sophia had been shot; it had been that event in particular that had been the catalyst for that first kiss, for his confession that he wanted to be with her and he knew on her part, it had been the straw that had broken the proverbial camel's back in regards to her secret relationship with Grissom. The deaths of his two friends made no sense at all and he knew that no amount of rationalization would make it so.

Sara didn't care that they were in the middle of the lab in a layout room that had windows out into the hallway; time, which somehow used to seem like a luxury, had very quickly become a rare and precious commodity, especially when you were with someone you cared about. She pulled back to look into his eyes. "Promise me I won't lose you like that." She knew that it was completely irrational to suggest it in the first place; none of them had any control over how or when they would die.

Nick looked at her intently, he could see a measure of fear in her eyes; fear that he was sure his own eyes reflected back to her. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere, you understand?" He of all people knew he really couldn't make that kind of promise, and he knew that she knew it. His kidnapping and burial was still a little too fresh in his mind to take away the reality of his own mortality.

"This is so unfair." Sara was sniffling. "They didn't even get a chance, they decide to go public with their relationship and they didn't even get a chance to enjoy it." The fact that she'd learned that they'd only just gotten married made it seem even more unfair.

Nick's voice was steady and his tone was gentle but urgent. "Their time was short, but they knew for sure that what they had was real. At least they had that." He looked into her eyes trying to read what she was thinking but her expression was clouded.

Sara wiped at her tears, she desperately needed to pull herself together. "I was in Grissom's office when he got the call from Brass." Maybe those weren't the best words to interject into a conversation with Nick right then because his expression clouded a bit. It was then that she realized that Grissom's first thought at news like this was the crime scene, and Nick's first thought had been her. They were so different and yet there was something about each of them that she felt drawn to.

Nick's jaw twitched; he wondered to himself if she was in there at Grissom's bequest to discuss the future or demise of their relationship or if she'd gone on her own accord. As much as he didn't want to, he couldn't help but feel insecure about being with Sara as long as Gil Grissom wanted her back. "You find a new lead in the case?" He only hoped that she'd gone in there to talk about evidence; he didn't want to sound like the jealous boyfriend he was sure he was coming off as.

Sara could see his conflicted expression and she knew it was only partly because of what had happened to Sophia and Vartan. "No, I haven't made any progress really." She let out a sigh and looked up into his eyes and offered him a soft smile. "I needed Grissom to know that I don't want him to leave the lab; he's too much a part of why this lab is a success to give it up for a hope for something with me that I can't promise him." Between the lines it was clear that she hadn't entirely made up her mind.

"Do I make you happy?" Nick cut her off; he didn't want to hear about Gil Grissom and his brilliance as a scientist and a criminalist; he didn't want to hear about how he didn't have the balls to come after Sara until she'd already chosen to be with another man; with him. What he wanted to know was if being with him, Nick Stokes, average guy from Dallas, Texas, made her happy.

Sara didn't know what to say, she knew what he was implying and she wasn't sure she was ready to answer that question with her whole heart; maybe it was partly her feelings for Grissom that she still struggled with and maybe it was just the fear she had at being that vulnerable with someone. But if she asked herself honestly, there was a reason that she'd chosen to be with Nick and she knew that even if she couldn't give him her whole heart, he had already had part of it.

"Do I make you happy?" Nick repeated himself and then leaned in and kissed her not caring if Ecklie himself walked by and caught them during company time. He whispered as he broke off the kiss, looking at Sara intently in the eyes. "Do I make you happy, Sara?" He felt like his heart had been hung out over the Grand Canyon by a piece of thread and the smallest puff of air could cause it to plummet to the bottom.

Sara's voice was a whisper as she looked into his eyes feeling as if she had spun out of control only to find that she was enjoying the ride. "Yes, you make me very happy." There was something about it all that both scared and thrilled her and yet there was still a part of her that kept asking if she was making the right choice, if perhaps the man that had consumed her thoughts for the better part of the last three years would be any different in a romantic relationship without the lab to worry about.

Nick sensed her hesitation and despite the fact that her answer thrilled him to the core, he needed to ask her another question. He held her gaze as he reached over and brushed his fingers across her cheek tenderly. "Did _he_ make you happy, Sara; do you think he would if he had another chance?"

Sara felt tears welling up in her eyes again; between all that was happening with Nick and Grissom and what had just happened to Sophia and Vartan, this was just too much. "Please don't ask me that right now." She leaned into him and slipped her arms around his waist, letting her face nestle in the crook of his neck. "Please just hold onto me for a little while, ok?"

"It's ok, Sar." Nick realized that once again his timing was shitty as hell and he berated himself for being an insensitive bastard for thinking of himself when two people that both he and Sara cared about had just been killed. There would be time to sort out all of this later. "I'm sorry, it's ok, it's gonna be ok." He whispered against her ear and he just held her as they stood there in the middle of the layout room.


	48. Chapter 48

Gil Grissom could not seem to shake his somber mood. Maybe it was the deaths of Alex and Sophia Vartan and the fact that he responded to the scene of the fatal car crash, and maybe it was the fact that he hadn't had a decent nights sleep since the whole ordeal with Sophia's shooting had started, and maybe it was the fact that Sara had left him for Nick, making his biggest fear about their relationship a grim reality; whatever it was, he was tired and distracted and for the first time in his career he wasn't sure he still had within him what it took to be a criminalist.

He was at the funeral, but he only recalled snippets; snippets that seemed to create the most pain for him. Two pine caskets flanking each other at the front of the sanctuary of the church he'd last been in to investigate the murder of a young girl. Faceless people standing up to offer words in honor of the dead, making them seem more like saints than the ordinary people that they were. One glance to see that Sara was clinging tightly to Nick's hand with tears sliding down her cheeks, causing a pang so deep he couldn't bring himself to look again. He recalled people talking to him afterwards, but he couldn't really remember who they were or what they said.

At least until he was back in his office and the images played over and over in his mind, finally interrupted by a concerned looking Catherine standing in his doorway, "Gil?"

He glanced up and didn't even pretend to smile, he simply gestured towards the chair across from his desk knowing that he had a decision to make and somehow it seemed appropriate that of all the people who might pry into what his state of mind was that it would be Catherine; other than Brass she probably knew him best. After nearly 20 years of working with him, she ought to.

Catherine sank into the chair and leaned back, pausing to study her friend for a moment with slightly pursed lips before she said anything. Her brow was furrowed as she spoke, "Gil, you look...tired." There was more to it than mere fatigue and she was genuinely worried about his state of mind; he wasn't acting like Grissom.

He saw no need to deny what was clearly evident, "I _am_ tired." The truth was, he was beginning to realize that he'd gone past burnout and hadn't heeded the warning signs.

Catherine's tone was soft, that sort of maternal tone she reserved for Lindsey, "This seems like more than just an 'I haven't had enough sleep' tired though, Gil." She wondered if all of the events in the last month or so had become too much for him. She knew that he was still agonizing over Sara, but to her knowledge, he hadn't bothered to do anything about it, rather taking the path of least resistance and being completely miserable as a result.

Grissom let out a weary sigh and removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "I'm thinking about quitting, Cath."

For some reason Catherine wasn't really all that surprised by his confession; truth be told, she'd seen the signs even before he'd apparently started dating Sara. The fact that he'd gone ahead and dated a subordinate in the first place told her that he had been on the edge. She had thought that if Gil ever got the courage to pursue Sara he'd change his status first, "Burnout?"

Grissom felt relief that she seemed to understand without having to delve into great detail. That was something that he genuinely appreciated about his friendship with Catherine; she was good with people and she knew him well enough to read between the lines. "Yeah," he let out another sigh, "I just don't think I can do this anymore. I used to be able to focus regardless of what else was going on, but I seem to have lost something and I don't know how to get that back; I don't know if I _want_ to get it back." Sophia and Alex being killed in a car crash had been the proverbial last straw on a stack that in reality had been building for years.

Catherine gently probed, "Does this have anything to do with Sara?" She knew that for Gil to finally give in to his feelings and pursue his colleague, subordinate or not, meant that the thing that he'd devoted most of his adult life too just didn't matter as much as it used to. Part of her wondered if him having some semblance of normalcy, or at least as normal as he would allow had shown him that there truly was more to life than work.

Grissom set his glasses down on the desk and leaned back in his chair, bridging his fingers together, "Maybe. I don't really know to tell you the truth. I was happy with her, Cath, really happy." The fact that Sara apparently hadn't been happy with him stabbed at his heart again as he recalled how it had been Nick who'd held her hand at the funeral and had taken her home; not him. He'd had his chance and although she'd said she wasn't sure she could give him what he asked, she hadn't said no outright. There was the faintest glimmer of hope still alive inside of him that someday she might change her mind.

"Sometimes you don't realize what you have until it's gone," that seemed to be the story of Catherine's life. It was only after Warrick had eloped with Tina that she'd realized that if she'd truly wanted him she should have said something to him; but then she'd been promoted and if she was honest with herself, she was a little dizzy with newfound power. Any opportunity she'd had with Warrick vanished at the point she became his boss.

Grissom nodded in agreement, he was keenly aware of how painful that statement was when it played out in your own life. He hadn't realized until it was too late that by opening himself up to loving Sara that he'd opened himself up to feelings that he'd tried to shut out for years. Maybe it was that overrun of emotion that he seemed to be feeling at every turn that had made him feel like it was impossible for him to continue working in a career that required him to remain objective and emotionally detached.

"Listen, Gil, whatever you decide, I'm behind you a hundred percent, but just make sure you do this for the right reason. Are you sure quitting is the answer; maybe you should just look into taking a sabbatical and start using up some of that vacation you never seem to have time for." Catherine wasn't quite ready to lose her friend; he might feel like he was burnt out now, but maybe after a few months of rest, relaxation, and a change of scenery he might be a new man. He was a brilliant criminalist and it would be a shame for them to lose him.

Grissom looked even wearier as he considered her suggestion, "I just don't know, Cath, I just don't know." He knew he had a lot to think about, but whatever he decided he needed to do it soon, if he wasn't able to get his mind focused on work, he was in serious danger of compromising a case and that was a risk he wasn't willing to take.


	49. Chapter 49

"Did you guys hear the rumor?" Greg sauntered into the layout room where Warrick, and Nick were in the midst of processing some evidence from a case they'd been working on all night; it had been a couple of weeks since the funeral and things had fallen back into a rhythm of normalcy around the lab.

"What rumor is that?" Warrick sounded skeptical; sharing little tidbits of information making its way around the lab grapevine was something Greg had been doing since he'd started there as a DNA technician. Usually by the time it passed through someone like Hodges things had ballooned well out of proportion. "This isn't about that extra week of vacation we're all not getting again this year is it?"

"No." Greg measured his words, while the information that he'd picked up was certainly of monumental proportions the person he'd heard it from didn't tend to exaggerate things and so he was inclined to believe that there was at least some measure of truth to it.

Nick didn't even bother to glance up as he continued to process evidence. "Who's your source?" He didn't want to have to pull a double, but if they didn't get through this mound of stuff they'd pulled from their vic's car it was going to be a sure bet that he wouldn't be going home at least until the sun was headed back down. Greg's interruption for something that had no bearing on their case didn't feel particularly welcome at the moment.

"I can't reveal my sources." The truth was, he didn't want to reveal his source.

"Greg man, get to the point; we have a lot of work to do here." Nick probably sounded a bit harsh, but time spent alone with Sara had become a preciously scarce commodity of late, partly because they hadn't worked a case together since the funeral and partly because of the number of hours they'd both been putting in lately had been a little excessive. Sara had promised him that if neither one of them had to pull a double that she'd make them a little breakfast in bed and he was definitely looking forward to being there.

"Sorry," Greg's tone was clipped; he could tell that both Nick and Warrick had a lot on their plate, something he had become all too familiar with since he'd become a CSI, "I heard that Grissom is leaving the lab."

Warrick looked up at the younger CSI with a furrowed brow and a jaw askew and didn't say a word.

Nick's head snapped up and a sinking feeling went straight to the pit of his stomach. He knew that Grissom was serious now about getting Sara back; he just hadn't thought he would actually leave the lab to do it. "What did you say?"

"I said, rumor has it that Grissom's quitting, leaving the lab maybe for good." The reaction that both Nick and Warrick had to his news was on par with how he had reacted to the news. He wasn't completely sure it was true, but he wasn't about to march into Grissom's office to verify it, that was something he thought one of the more veteran CSIs could do.

Warrick narrowed his gaze at Greg and finally found his words, "Who told you, Greg?" His tone was stern and he meant business; it was one thing to spread rumors about extra vacation time or why the receptionist suddenly had green hair; it was completely another to spread rumors about the man that was his mentor and really one of the few men he looked up to.

"Well I didn't really hear it firsthand...I overheard it," and if that person ever found out that he had, he might just find his days on this earth numbered.

Nick narrowed his eyes and his tone echoed Warrick's, "Who said it?" The source of the rumor in his mind could be the difference of he and Sara living happily ever after or him turning into a lonely old bastard; probably a bit of a leap, but at the moment he was feeling an emotional turmoil that was like a swinging pendulum.

Greg stammered slightly, "Well, I overheard Catherine saying something to Brass. I didn't mean to, I was looking for Catherine to fill her in on something regarding the case we're working and when I got to her office the door was ajar and she was talking to Brass about it." He didn't want to mention the part he'd overheard about Sara being part of the reason that Grissom might be leaving.

Warrick's expression softened and he nodded; if Catherine was the source of the rumor than it was no rumor at all, it was the truth. "Did you happen to hear when he might be leaving?"

"No," Greg let out a sigh, "I left; I didn't want them to know that I'd been standing there."

Nick stood there with his hands on his hips trying to stifle his own building frustration, "That was probably a good idea, Greg." In the back of his mind he was wondering if Sara had any idea that Grissom had indeed gone through with his plan to try and get her back. He didn't want to be scared, but the truth was until he knew for sure that Sara's feeling for Grissom were gone, there would always be a hint of fear inside of him that she would go back to him.

Greg looked as if he might be sick, "You won't tell them that I told you, will you?" It occurred to him that Catherine might not be so thrilled to find out that something she'd been discussing in what she assumed was the privacy of her office was now on its way to being public knowledge.

"You haven't told anyone else have you?" Warrick raised a single brow Greg's direction; this was not something that needed to be fed through the rumor mills. This was Grissom's news and he needed to have the opportunity to make it public when he was ready.

"Uh, no, I mean, just Sara, no one else though." Greg hoped that was the right answer; he was quickly beginning to realize that he should have kept the information to himself; but the reality was that it was too big to keep contained and he thought that it was only fair that the rest of the nightshift CSIs knew; maybe they could help talk Grissom out of leaving.

As soon as the words registered in Nick's ears he felt a surge of panic rising up like bile in the back of his throat.

* * *

Sara had a deeply troubled expression on her face as she made her way to Grissom's office; she could hardly believe that what Greg had told her was true, but in the back of her mind she knew that it was. She had never imagined that Grissom would give it all up for her and she honestly had no idea how to respond to that. She paused in the doorway to his office and as he glanced up at her from where he sat at his desk, she looked at him expectantly, "Hey, Gris." 

There was something about her demeanor that told him that this was not about work and he gestured for her to close the door and come in. He let out a deep sigh as the door clicked shut and Sara sank into the chair across from him, "Sara." He really wasn't sure how to start this conversation; he'd been thinking about it for weeks, but now that it was here, he didn't know how to start.

"So you're leaving then," there wasn't a question in Sara's tone, just a confirmation of what she'd already guessed from what Greg had told her. She was just surprised that he'd actually gone through with it. Part of her was really, really angry with him for throwing away his career for her and part of her was ecstatic that he'd finally done something to show her how much he really cared for her.

"I was going to tell you," he wasn't really sure how she'd found out anyway, but he'd learned long ago that the walls had ears and nothing around here was really all that private. He let out a deep sigh and looked at her longingly, "I just can't do this anymore; I'm burnt out, I need a change." What he really wanted was to get lost in her and forget about crime and justice for a little while, but he wasn't sure if that would ever be a reality for him again.

"The lab needs you," it was ironic really that Sara should chose those four words; the four words that he'd so often used to remind her just why she should stay; four words when all she'd longed for from him for years was to hear three words that indicated he needed her.

"The lab will be fine," Grissom searched her eyes as he considered if he really could do what he'd planned to do and he realized that if he didn't, he would regret it for the rest of his life and he'd already had enough regret for things he hadn't done to fill up two lifetimes. "I'm leaving for Peru on Tuesday, I'm not really sure how long I'll be gone; a couple of months at least. I've always wanted to see Machu Picchu and to travel down the Amazon," he took a deep breath as he continued, studying her expression carefully, "I've made a lot of mistakes with you and I know that I don't deserve another chance, but I love you; I need you." He paused for a long moment watching the conflicted emotions swimming across her face, "I want you to come with me, Sara."

Sara had been so unsure for so long about what to do about her inner turmoil regarding her feelings for both Grissom and Nick and in that moment everything came to her in crystal clarity and suddenly she knew exactly who she wanted to be with.


	50. Chapter 50

**One Year Later:**

Sara had never really thought of herself as being an impulsive person. Certainly she'd done some impulsive things over the course of her life, but generally speaking when it came time to make some sort of major life altering decision, she liked to mull it over and then plan her course of action. However, when it came to her heart, impulsive was the word that probably described her best. Why else would she leave a promising career in San Francisco where she'd formed close friends on the whim of a man that she'd met briefly while he'd been teaching a six-week course on forensic entomology? She hadn't even thought twice about hopping a plane to Vegas to help him investigate a member of his team and when he'd asked her if she would consider staying to work with him, she hardly blinked before she'd picked up the phone and asked one of her friends to have her apartment packed up and the contents shipped to Las Vegas. She clearly thought that Gil Grissom was a man worth giving up everything for.

What she hadn't counted on though was that the man Grissom was in Vegas was in stark contrast to the man she'd gotten to know in San Francisco. Here he seemed to be more serious and driven and there was no time to linger over coffee and discuss theoretical physics or how the discovery of a new insect might hold the cure for things like cancer or how the extinction of a single insect species could easily spell disaster for fragile ecosystems. To say that she was disappointed was an understatement, but then again, Sara had never been one to shy away from a challenge and Gil Grissom was definitely a challenge; and while it had been a challenge, she had eventually captured his heart. At least she thought she had; the fact that he'd insisted that they had to keep their relationship a secret caused a pang in the deepest recesses of her heart and the longer they were together the more profound that pang became until she could no longer ignore it. She had asked him to go public and he'd refused her and it had become apparent to her then that she would probably always come in second to his career. He had broken her heart like no other man ever had and so she'd left him.

And while she may have moved to Vegas because of Grissom, she ended up staying because of everyone else.

Among those other people was Nick. He had accepted her no questions asked from the start and although it was apparent that he was good friends with the man she was brought in to investigate, he didn't seem to be taking any side except the side of the truth and for that she felt as if she'd found her first real ally in Vegas besides Grissom. They had become fast friends and despite the flirty banter that seemed to accompany them most everywhere, she had never viewed him as anything more than a very good friend.

That is until the kiss they'd shared after Sophia Curtis had been shot; that single kiss had awakened something within her that she hadn't known was there and for the first time since she'd moved to Vegas she seemed to have feelings for someone that rivaled her feelings for Grissom.

Her decision the day Grissom had asked her to go with him to South America had changed everything. One man's hope had come true and another man's hope had been crushed; yet Sara had never been happier than she'd been these last twelve months. It was as if making that decision had finally allowed her to give her whole heart to one person and as a result, she was able to fully receive the love they had offered to her.

Sara pulled her car into the lot at the crime lab and smiled as she considered that it had been a little while since she'd been here; strange really when she'd spent the better part of the last six years in that building. She was already tired; it was going to be a long day and it was unseasonably warm out even in the rising sun, making her long for the days when she worked the nightshift. She wasn't working at all now; instead she was getting ready for another phase of her life that she could never have anticipated that she would be this excited about. She gingerly pulled herself out of the car and began to slowly walk towards the front door of the lab.

Judy the receptionist glanced up as she entered and a wide smile spread across her face as she recognized the brunette, "Sara, I haven't seen you for a while." One glance at Sara's belly caused her eyebrows to curve upwards as she seemed to be doing some internal calculations, "isn't your due date soon?" Judy looked as if she was prepared to jump into action if Sara showed any signs of going into labor.

Sara smiled and let out a soft laugh, "Actually, it's not for another three weeks, but I feel like I'm overdue and I'm beginning to think this baby is never going to come out." As her hand skimmed over her expansive middle, refracting light drew attention to the large diamond in the ring on her left hand.

As if on cue, the man responsible for both the ring and her current condition came meandering down the hallway towards the reception area. A wide grin spread over his face as he saw her standing there; there wasn't a day that went by that he wasn't thankful that she had chosen to be with him. He greeted her with a soft kiss and his hand instinctively covered her belly hoping to feel their baby kick, "Hey, you ready to head over to the diner for the baby shower?"

As he pulled away, Sara smiled as she looked up into his deep brown eyes, "I still can't believe that Greg organized this thing." She appreciated the gesture; it wasn't the shower she was looking forward to as much as getting to spend time with the friends who had become the only real family that she had known.

If anyone had told Sara a little over a year ago that not only would she be married, but that she would be expecting a child, she was sure that she wouldn't have believed them. But then again, stranger things had happened.

It had surprised her that day when Grissom had asked her to go with him to South America that she had said no, and yet she had absolutely no regrets about staying in Las Vegas to be with Nick. Three weeks after Grissom had flown to Peru, Nick had asked Sara to marry him and they'd quietly eloped with just a few people from the nightshift there to serve as witnesses.

And as for Grissom, according to the postcards he'd been sending from all over South America, he was having the time of his life.

_**The End**_


End file.
